How do I make life less tiring? Is this just life now?

[HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim]

Me and DH just feel in an endless cycle of exhausting life at the moment. We go from busy work into a whirlwind of kids activities etc - eg tonight DH finished work in time to collect DC2 from school to take to swimming, meanwhile I went from work to a PTA meeting, DH took DC2 from swimming to football, I got home from meeting to take DC1 to Cubs, DH got back with DC2 to eat supper, I went to collect from Cubs, DH took dog out, DC1 ate supper, I put kids to bed. this isn’t even an accurate representation as I can’t be bothered to explain where DC3 fitted in tonight.

Every night is like this. I feel like we slog through each week to get to the weekend (which is equally full of football, rugby etc)

is the only answer have fewer kids doing fewer activities? Are there life hacks out there? I think if we streamlined life elsewhere it would help but doesn’t feel like we’ve got the time!

just ugh. So tired.

It's family life.
We had this for years. It stops at some point.

Yes, less after school and weekend activities. You mention that DC2 went from swimming to football? So 2 activities in one night after school?! Strip it back. Could some/all of the kids do a few nights a week of after school club at the school itself (if available) so you are not ferrying them around clubs?

school is a bit crap on the activities front to be honest, there isn’t anything they can do there that removes any burden from us!

Football is a pain tbh, I’ve gone right off it, he plays 3 times a week. Doesn’t normally play on a Monday but has been trialing for an academy spot, I think if he gets in we will move swimming to another night.

Do you miss it when it’s gone?

This sums up my life perfectly mid week. Three kids, endless drop off/pick ups, school and activity admin on top of a full time job 🤯

It's hell and I love the holidays when it calms a bit. I keep thinking it is only for a short period of time... it must get easier! I hope it gets easier!!

So no real advice, just wanted to say I hear you and you have all my sympathies! From one tied mum to another 😴

Snap here too except I worked a 12 hour day until 8pm on a meeting with US colleagues who refuse to acknowledge its UK evening and then went to get oldest from scouts. Husband did youngest football club earlier and put him to bed. I'm still trying to get oldest to sleep.

Here we also have supporting my elderly parents in the mix. Tomorrow I'm getting up early to get the kids to school so my DH can drive to go support my parents at an appointment they can't cope with.

Children do a lot of activities now. When I was the age my DS is, I did Brownies once and swimming club twice a week. Both were in my smallish home town and a 5 min drive or 15 min walk from home. Weekends were spent visiting family or playing at home, though we did go swimming as a family most weeks.

By contrast DS does afterschool, BB, football (training and matches), athletics, karate and ski lessons. Most weekends there will be a birthday party at some far flung venue (40 min round trip) with all the associated admin of gift arranging and thank you messaging etc. I exist to ferry him around and provide meals in between and also stress a little about making sure him and I get quality time together. I'm glad he gets these experiences but my goodness it's a lot and I understand with three DC why you feel overwhelmed. I'm sure they could all cut back on clubs and feel no ill effects.

One activity a week here! And that's bad enough 😅

your kids do far too many activities.

Seriously, they are highly unlikely to be professional swimmers/footballers/cubs so just drop a load of the activities. It will make your life so much simpler and you will be less resentful about all the cash you spent/time you invested when they hit their teenage years and suddenly want to drop it all anyway.

Oh god it’s relentless. But you will get through. Mine are big now and have had active interesting childhoods, I don’t regret all the ferrying about. I’m glad I worked too. I’m still knackered though 😂

At the very least you can drop the 2 clubs in one night.
Can they all
do cubs on the same night then one activity each 1 night a week. I couldn't cope with anything more with 3 kids

I don’t think you’re unusual, thinking about the families I know well at my kids’ school.

I would say though that it doesn’t sound enjoyable. So if it isn’t, something has to give. Either someone paid to do some of the schlepping, or lift-shares with people you know on the team, or reducing what each child does, or saying that priority number one is, say, a private swimming lesson for all three kids on a weekend morning. Change schools to one with decent clubs?

I’m not a fan of this kind of overscheduling in my own family - I just feel pulled in too many directions and really resent another afternoon spent sitting in the traffic with my children.

If 3 children are doing multiple activities a night, then every night is going to be hell. Strip it back a bit somewhere. If one wants to do football and it's 3x a week then they need to let something else go to allow some down time too

I have 3 as well & it’s full on. We’ve limited clubs a bit & keep one day of the weekend completely club free which does help.

Yes....life is much quieter now but miss it!

Similar here though Friday evening is a club free zone. I refuse. Everyone needs an evening just to be home/relax. Maybe consider scheduling an evening off for everyone? Unfortunately football/rugby/gymnastics etc suck up multiple evenings and weekend days. It's a big commitment - don't be afraid to say no now and again.

I am relieved to have passed that stage to be honest and I don’t miss it 😊

How typical is it for kids to go to so many clubs?

They do at DD’s school and she has two big hobbies and music lessons which is on the lower scale of things. That already feels intrusive.

is there anyone here with primary children who have no organised activities and clubs?

How old are your children?
The football after swimming really stands out.
It's too much.

It's the same here, my rules are:

1. no child does more than one activity per night
2. each child has at least 2 nights off per week
3. no clubs on Sundays

Somehow even within those boundaries I'm taxi 4 out of 5 nights and they each do multiple sports plus scouts.

It's quite hard if your dc like doing stuff though. And if they play a sport there is often matches on weekends.

As a kid I did hours of dancing & loved it.

Yes! I miss it !!

Mine have 1 sport (different) each. Both do 2 nights a week and competitions at the weekend. We also go swimming as a family every weekend.

The only thing I would add to that would be a musical instrument but neither is interested.

I wouldn't add on club after club just for the sake of it.

Yikes our kids only do 1 activity a week! And I still find life reasonably relentless

We put a stop to so much. Each child could have activities outside of school twice a week. That was enough. They also need downtime.