How do I make life less tiring? Is this just life now?

[HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim]

Me and DH just feel in an endless cycle of exhausting life at the moment. We go from busy work into a whirlwind of kids activities etc - eg tonight DH finished work in time to collect DC2 from school to take to swimming, meanwhile I went from work to a PTA meeting, DH took DC2 from swimming to football, I got home from meeting to take DC1 to Cubs, DH got back with DC2 to eat supper, I went to collect from Cubs, DH took dog out, DC1 ate supper, I put kids to bed. this isn’t even an accurate representation as I can’t be bothered to explain where DC3 fitted in tonight.

Every night is like this. I feel like we slog through each week to get to the weekend (which is equally full of football, rugby etc)

is the only answer have fewer kids doing fewer activities? Are there life hacks out there? I think if we streamlined life elsewhere it would help but doesn’t feel like we’ve got the time!

just ugh. So tired.

Going to morning and after school club definitely doesn't mean that the family can't eat and talk together, don't be ridiculous! You can all eat together once everyone is home, it's an important part of the day. Same goes for bath and bed time. I'm less precious about breakfast.
My GC go to breakfast and afterschool clubs and still have time with their family at the beginning and end of the day. I do pick them up earlier one day a week to give them a shorter day and time to relax. They do their main activity clubs either at school or at the weekend.

It stops, pretty suddenly and you wonder how on Earth you did it all…
and then they don’t need you in the same way and you miss it, and then they do need you again because they are stranded in town, drunk, and then they’ve disappeared to Uni and just need your cash…and you miss them, and then they are back, with drama and mess and you miss the Uni days, and then… joy of joys…grandchildren, and here we go again ☺️
This too shall pass, hang on in there and try to embrace the lively bits because the rest doesn’t matter.

It’s ridiculous isn’t it? This is a lot of people’s normal unfortunately. 3 kids here. The only way we managed was to limit activities and/or make them do the same thing - luckily twins and younger near in age. They all did swimming and tennis together. Girls did brownies together, etc. I started PTA but decided it was too much. It does eventually improve when they are at secondary and their activities are after school at school.

@angela99999 did you actually read my post?!

I was replying to a poster who seemed to think that an hour of sport or brownies after school meant no eating together, baths, table manners etc. I was just interested what they thought of wraparound card because it's ridiculous to suggest dc who do activities or wraparound care miss out on normal family life.

One of the ways we managed this was to join up with other parents and form a car club. Each taking turns.

Some nights it works out that we get a night off driving altogether!

Other things that helped. Lots of planning. Shared diaries. Packing kit in advance. Meal planning. Planning errands around activities. E.g DS used to do karate. No adults stayed to watch so DH would do a "karate shop" (get it?) while out. He'd manage to do the weekly shop while DS was at activity.

This post could be me! I'll be following for any tips! DC1-tennis, swimming, netball, Eco club,scouts , DC2 -3 nights of football, athletics, swimming, cubs DC3, swimming 2x a week, beavers, football 2 x a week, and a couple of school clubs too.. I'm exhausted and look forward to the holidays .. I love that they are busy and sporty but I'm exhausted from all the changing , feeding in the car and driving..

Too many activities and quit the PTA?

I was agreeing with you about the wraparound care.

I remember the these days well and it is tiring, but you want your children to have interest and clubs are great for their social skills.. My DCs are teenagers now we are still having to ferry them about, as public transport links are rubbish even in a big city

This sounds like my life. So feel this year with DD1’s move to secondary school things have got a little easier. As there are larger gaps between drop off and pick ups. I think it’s good that kids have so many activities and interests I wouldn’t want my DD’s to give up anything and I’d rather they were busy and active than sat at home on screens. Football is a killer though both DD1 and DD2. DD1 has training twice a week and games on a Sunday, DD2 has training 4 times a week with different teams and games on a Sunday. The games are always at different times in completely different places. DH is also DD2’s teams coach and helps train DD1’s team.

Don't be a member of the PTA - just volunteer when they need people. Realise that you don't have to clean as often as you think you do. Those are my only life hack suggestions, other than often as kids get older they focus on fewer things.

She does football and camogie. Its hard mid week evening matches alot are away as we havent floodlit pitches. Summer training is ok as bright. I find it takes over as dinners in heap. Not much carpool as people go from work. Gets no easier lol. Her dad does help too with lifts

Never local pitches too.. endless at times

We had this for years and I really miss it now so try and enjoy it whilst you can.

we always felt that if we were organised with food and cooking then everything else was so much easier. Having a plan including sometimes packed tea in the car. Easier said than done though.

in the meantime try and enjoy the chat in the car

Every year I wish the summer holidays away as they drive me potty ... and every September I want to die from the exhaustion of getting back into this routine.

I'm curious to know if any posters have reduced hours to improve the work-life-extracurricular activities balance?

I work FT, but flex so that I can do school pick up one day per week. I could drop to 4 days or do 3 full and 2 short days. In the first scenario, I would get some time to myself to run errands etc but it wouldn't change DC's routine. In the second scenario, DC would be able to come straight home on an additional day, rather than doing after school club. But the cost to me in either case would be around £500 per month, plus drop in pension contributions. Is it worth it? I regularly go round in circles about this!

I compress my week, is that an option (I do 10 days in 9)? It doesn't really much of a difference day to day but now the kids are school age a glorious 6 hours to yourself is wonderful for feeling less stressed.

DH only works 4 days anyway which is also good (he has the sort of job where you couldn't work overtime really) - he tends to do catchup house jobs on that day.

But my top tip is to keep regular commitments minimal. Eg DC2 likes bouldering, but we just go ad hoc rather than committing to a club. The chances of her rock climbing in the Olympics are slim, let's face it.

You asked whether you will miss it. No. I was relieved when my children stopped activities . I was relieved when I did the last school run. I'm in my 50's with older teenage kids and I am knackered. It pains me to see young parents rushing around and getting stressed. it really isn't worth it. Slow down Reduce the activities - mine tbf had one sport activity each week and that worked OK.

@Zone4flaneur so do you think cutting out one or two scheduled activities would be more effective than reducing hours a bit?

At the moment the activities DC do outside of school are manageable (DC1 cubs, football X2, swimming and piano; DC2 rainbows and swimming) and as I mentioned upthread I don't think we should drop any of them except maybe piano. And it would only get busier anyway as DC2 (6) might want to start doing more over the next year or two.

That's why I wondered about dropping hours really, as at least it relieves them of a day at after school club. I could potentially drop by half a day a week to do the one extra pick up, at a cost of ~£250 per month.

It changed. It didn't stop. DS was sporty and had a lot of practice and matches every weekend; dd was musical and had voice and instrument lessons, rehearsals and concerts.

The late night parties start at about 16 and there are pickups from those - I recommend you keep a bucket in the car, much easier to aim into than a plastic bag.

Then one goes to uni and there's some respite with just one at home except for the long distance termly drop offs, pick-ups and visits. Complete with "but muuum, we've broken up and my heart is broken and I've had half a bottle of vodka and feel sick, at 3am.

Then they boomerang back a few times - extra laundry, shopping, etc.

After that you look forward to a peaceful retirement - then they breed.

I am afraid I swerved six years of it and had an au-pair from when the youngest was six until 12.

Good luck op.

I wouldn’t drop hours, I'd spend the difference between 4 and 5 days on extra help. That way your pension is better protected.

Primary was hectic - swimming lessons at various times on various nights depending which stage each DC had progressed to. Plus ballet, drama club, after school activities, beavers/cubs etc - total chaos.

Luckily neither DC has joined an outside sports activity such as football - as I know they can be really time consuming. Since secondary life has been much easier, as apart from scouts, everything else has been after-school activities. (Music lessons are done in school time). They do cadets twice a week, the annual school musical play (3x a week, July to Jan), ad hoc sports clubs, and now they are older, after school catch up/revision for various subjects. But it all finishes by 5pm, which makes things so much easier than juggling meals and clubs throughout an evening. Weekends are ours.

It can be incredibly stressful OP - but hopefully you'll come out the other side eventually, and your DCs will have had a great childhood!

My DS1 has his Learners.... I am eagerly awaiting him getting his licence so that he can take over some of the trips!

This week I have had to shuttle my DSs to and from their part time jobs and sports activities every day. It's exhausting. BUT - I will miss those chats in the car!! And I will still make a point of attending the matches because I want to support them!

@Yesterdayyesterday I work 27 hours across 4 days & start early & finish early. It means I have more time in the evenings & my dc can do clubs but we also have lots of time together. I have 1 day off to catch up things & have some alone time. At the moment the pay off of more time outweighs more money.