How do I make life less tiring? Is this just life now?

[HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim]

Me and DH just feel in an endless cycle of exhausting life at the moment. We go from busy work into a whirlwind of kids activities etc - eg tonight DH finished work in time to collect DC2 from school to take to swimming, meanwhile I went from work to a PTA meeting, DH took DC2 from swimming to football, I got home from meeting to take DC1 to Cubs, DH got back with DC2 to eat supper, I went to collect from Cubs, DH took dog out, DC1 ate supper, I put kids to bed. this isn’t even an accurate representation as I can’t be bothered to explain where DC3 fitted in tonight.

Every night is like this. I feel like we slog through each week to get to the weekend (which is equally full of football, rugby etc)

is the only answer have fewer kids doing fewer activities? Are there life hacks out there? I think if we streamlined life elsewhere it would help but doesn’t feel like we’ve got the time!

just ugh. So tired.

I think the difference between now and 20/30 years ago is where clubs are based. When I was a child all of the clubs were local to home so very little time in the car. It also meant my parents had the choice of socialising with the other parents or going back home.

also why is it always football clubs that dictate training must take place 2-4 times a week plus matches. And convincing parents that they should train to be picked for the academy which will take up even more time?

Most of the children will not be football stars. If they enjoy it then once a week plus matches will suffice. Is it the parents thinking their child is amazing at football or is it the clubs monopolising our evenings or else you are not dedicated enough?

if parents are trying to enhance their child’s ‘cv’ for uni or jobs etc to be well rounded then football is not the answer. At private schools, parents usually get the children into less popular sports such as lacrosse or fencing. It’s much easier to get your child playing competitively and winning in a less popular and competitive sport. Plays nationally in lacrosse sounds better than played for local u12s football club!

@Yesterdayyesterday i work 30 hours, 5 x 9-3, in order to pick the kids up from school (actually only DC3 now as the others are in secondary) & facilitate clubs. The downside is that I feel I rush from school gate to desk to school gate again - there’s no ‘me time’.

picking up on posters saying it didn’t used to be like this, when I think about my childhood (never did anything except piano) the difference was i got to do so much more at school, even primary school. We played matches, had dance lessons, drama, school productions etc. I don’t know if my kids primary is just lacking but the squeeze on the curriculum seems to mean all those ‘extras’ have to be supplied by parents outside of school if they are to happen. Just look at the sports England data, children aren’t even getting 30 minutes a day of being activity in primary school.

It does sound like your school's lacking a bit. Our primary school (state) is really good for extra curricular activities. They do music lessons, languages, art classes, several different types of sport - all extra curricular and held during lunch or after school.
If you want your children to do extra activities you can always alternate. When my DH was a child his parents really wanted him to do sports but not all at the same time! So he did 6 months or so of karate, followed by 6 months of swimming, followed by 6 months of football and so on. If there was something he really liked or was good at then he could to it for longer.
Remember their childhoods are quite long in a way and you don't have to cram everything in now.

Also I used to be a lunchtime supervisor and they do an hour or so in the playground each day running around.

I got a few hours of activity every day playing in the woods and hill by our house or playing badminton with the neighbour kids. I'm not sure why activity always needs to be structured. Or are kids just couch potatoes if you don't make an activity appointment these days?

Can relate to this - we are both literally never at home during the week because of our jobs. Fortunately we have been in a position to allow our children to board, so have an amazingly manic, energetic, fun-filled weekend every other weekend when they are home. Without this balance of work life in the week, every other weekend for couple time and every other weekend for children time, I would literally implode - full credit to anyone doing this amount of juggling, I am full of admiration. As an aside though @HashBrownandBeans, the one thing we’ve had to forgo at this phase of our lives is dogs - do you actually leave them for 13.5 hours a day???

We unfortunately 🤣 have one of my retired relatives also living with us(another mouth to feed), so the house is never empty.

@Yesterdayyesterday that seems like a lot of money to lose every month, so for the sake of one pick up...

It's more about organizing the week I think. Can piano happen at school, for example? Swimming done in intensive blocks? We have to keep things quite measured as have one with ASD.

Also lift and drop off sharing. We moved back to the UK last year from overseas and I've been really startled by how little load sharing between parents there is. I don't think I ever did a club drop off without at least one additional child in the car. Expats don't really have a network of family to call on so just use each other! Nice as it is to see them play football etc I don't have to do it every week.

Cut down the activities.

tbh you have 3 children and a dog. life must be so busy, but I say embrace the busyness it's not going to last forever and you will miss it when they have all grown up and don't need you as much. maybe if you are friends with other parents going to the same clubs join forces and take it in turns to take each others children set up a WA group with other parents the probably feel the same way and could use a little help. x

alternate with friends parents to get them places.

take the dog and walk while you wait for child.

ask for help. If you have a grandma, auntie, anyone. Even once a month!

get your oldest a car. We drive at 16 here. Start saving up for a beater. She gets car on condition of drop offs/ whatever. Then you can pick up or whatever as needed.