Wld you keep the baby in my circumstances?

[LeonardTheLeopard]

I am 45. My husband is 51.

We have three kids: 18,15 and 12. We love having kids and did think of having a fourth years ago but decided against it. I’ve always felt a tiny bit sad about that.

We have no money worries, a spare room and money for childcare.

We have a nice quality of life with older kids: lots of holidays and meals out together. Enjoyment of activities we all can do together. Friends with kids the same age. Nobody we know has babies now.
.
I have a bad back, joint pain and have had tests for inflammatory conditions as I feel about 60 in my body. Pregnancy seems a real risk.

I am the main earner, I have a great career that I love. I work full time. I have a shot at becoming chief executive of my organisation next year but not likely if I have just has a baby.

Pregnancy was not planned. I didn’t think we were taking a risk as it was 8 days before my usual ovulation point and I am forty bloody five.

I Am terrified of having a baby but also terrified of having an abortion.

It makes me feel quite uncomfortable when I see this question asked and so many of the replies are a resounding "abort"

OP, for reasons I'm yet to understand (but I suspect will be justified by feminism) mumsnet has a very large % of people who take pleasure in telling people to end their pregnancies. I've seen it so many times over the years. It isn't right, it feels very very wrong to tell a stranger those things.

It's a massive decision and often touted here as something as simple as taking the bins out.

Please don't make your decision based on anything people on MN say.

You are clearly an intelligent person who has built a success of their life, the only POV which matters is yours.

I wouldn't. I have 3 kids, youngest is 7. Although I would hate it I would have an abortion if I got pregnant.

Yes I would absolutely keep the baby in your circs

LOOK AT THE DATE OP POSTED!
FFS

I have a bad back, joint pain and have had tests for inflammatory conditions as I feel about 60 in my body. Pregnancy seems a real risk.

its more than seems a risk
this extra weight and burden could totally decimate you

id discuss with a doctor

To be honest, you probably would be lucky to keep it. Miscarriage is most likely at your age

To be honest, you probably would be lucky to keep it. Miscarriage is most likely at your age

Your health is the key decider in this imo. I would not want a child whose birth may possibly injury you or progress any joint issues.

Childbirth is hard on the body. There are no guarantees you'll come through it unscathed.

In your situation I wouldn't.

The only thing that stops me saying ‘I absolutely would not’ is the fact that you say you’ve always been a tiny bit sad about not having a 4th. If you think there’s a chance you might regret a termination, then I wouldn’t. But based on everything else in your post I personally would terminate. As PP said, an abortion at this stage is nothing to be frightened about and honestly this decision is really not about money or how stable your relationship is - it’s primarily about your body and how you personally feel- you shouldn’t feel guilty in any way about the decision just because ‘well, we can afford it and we have a spare room’. Good luck OP , this is a really tough situation but you’ll make the right choice x

I’d keep the baby, because I know more I’d regret more having an abortion.

I saw this earlier on and I have been thinking about the dilemma. It is your right to choose. I have a Catholic friend who would disagree with me, but your body your right.

I was a fit active 41 year old when we completed our family and seriously thought about having a 3rd, but decided against it. Your health concerns really stand out for me. I was concerned about my pelvic floor not being up to a 3rd baby, but you would have to deal with being very exhausted and it sounds like health conditions to manage with little down time. Your older children will have their own lives.

On the other hand you could buy in help and get support. You have a massive amount of parenting experience to draw upon. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I'm sure the decision has been made by now.

I wouldn't, sorry

Constancy an abortion provider and ask them for free counselling they will help you make the decision x

I would worry quite a bit for my health, if I were in your shoes. You could be risking your health a lot and the ability to enjoy being with the children you already have.

No one can decide for you but you. Just think of all the pros and cons and know that neither answer is right nor wrong.

Well, it would be nice if the OP had come back and updated us. If they thought about MNers enough to get their advice they should care enough to let us have an update.

Really don’t think that’s going to be on the OP’s mind do you?
Life changing decision needs to be made, ahh yes I’ll update mumset. Ffs.

It’s her body, it’s her pregnancy… no one, least of all an unwell unexpectedly pregnant woman, owes you an update. Christ on a bike.

Staggered by the sheer entitled nosiness of the above.

Hello everyone, we just wanted to flag that this thread is over a month old now so we are going to close it now.
MNHQ