Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How much would you pay to go to a destination wedding?

189 replies

Ohyasss · 15/08/2023 19:51

Average income, 4 people (2dcs, dh and I) We avoid summer hols and normally steal time around half term and a few days into term. Only one dc is in primary other is nursery. Invited to a wedding smack bang school hols (next yr)

how much would you pay?

im currently balking at the cost as it’s double what we spend on our naice summer (not school hols).

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 15/08/2023 23:44

I wouldn't unless we could have a normal holiday and the wedding bit is just one part of it

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 15/08/2023 23:50

I wouldn't attend a destination wedding.

Sisterthesame · 16/08/2023 00:16

I have flown long haul to three weddings and had to decline a fourth as was nit possible due to work. but the people marrying were actually born and living in those countries.

If it was someone that just wanted an overseas wedding it would depend entirely on how much I liked them, that’s it. In your circumstances just don’t do it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Weddings
icebearforpresident · 16/08/2023 00:31

I went to a ‘destination’ wedding ten years ago, although it was an American bride getting married to her British husband (who was our friend since school days) in her hometown, not 2 people from the UK getting married in a resort. This was pre-kids so husband and I, who got married the year before, used all the money we had been given as wedding gifts to fund it and treated it as our honeymoon. We were there for 15 days and stayed at the location of the wedding for 2 nights, and visited some other cities while we were there. Looking back it probably cost us 5k and we happily spent it, having the time of our lives with the friends who also traveled over.

Now, in the same circumstances, we’d maybe spend half that, leave the kids at home to stay with grandparents and do it as cheaply as possible.

It depends on the destination and the couple though, in the circumstances you described OP I would probably wish them well and send a nice gift. If my best friend announced she was getting married abroad and could we go along I would spend the same again if I could afford it and had enough notice.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/08/2023 00:37

Unless you think it will be really fun and full of friends you want to catch up with, decline and take the couple out for a nice celebratory dinner when they're back from honeymoon instead

Gingernaut · 16/08/2023 00:54

TBH, fuck all

IF they want a nice 'destination', let them have a corking honeymoon and leave the marriage a simpler affair back here.

elliejjtiny · 16/08/2023 00:59

£0. I wouldn't go. We haven't been able to go on a family holiday for 10 years so I'm definitely not going to a destination wedding.

lastseasonstop · 16/08/2023 07:05

Too many variables. It would depend on who and where.

Close family we might but venue plays a big part. I don’t want to spend a lot of time together on holiday so if that was the plan it would be a no.

Destination also plays a big part. A resort type place with beaches and sunbathing all day, probably no. Somewhere with a city to visit and things to do as well as some down time, possibly yes.

ifonly4 · 16/08/2023 07:38

The only person I'd go to a destination wedding for is my DD, as I'd miss out more not seeing her get married than the money.

Feverly · 16/08/2023 07:49

£0, wouldn't even consider it for a split second no matter who it was, or where.
Your mate that you're not even close to, marrying someone s/he's been dating for a few months-nope, and her 'negative reaction' would mean no gift and the friendship is over.

2023issucky · 16/08/2023 08:36

Me and husband got married abroad, many years ago. No one came, we knew they likely wouldn't (hence why we booked it). Unless you are desperate I wouldn't go. It's a lot to spend on a holiday with your family, and if I was spending that much I would want to go where I wanted to, not be determined by someone else

TotalDramarama · 16/08/2023 08:50

I think that's true of a lot of couples having destination weddings 2023issucky

That's why I never go to great lengths to attend. I always think that if they were desperate to have everyone there they'd do it really local. Part of the charm of having a destination wedding seems to be that it stays very small and nobody takes the hump because they weren't invited

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/08/2023 08:56

Nothing, anymore. The only person I care enough about to do this had an abroad wedding which (all in) cost us about 3.5k for a week. We typically spend under 1k on our weeks holiday (by staying uk, going end of summer etc) so it was a big expense compared to usual.

And one half of the bride and groom was from that country, so less a destination wedding and more one just wanting to use their home preferences and half the guests not to have to travel to the UK which is much better.

I will decline any and all future invites to abroad weddings, abroad events etc. It's too much.

Northernladdette · 16/08/2023 10:32

I’d go if I fancied the destination and make a holiday of it, otherwise I’d pass.

strawberry2017 · 16/08/2023 10:32

I would decline personally.
Destination weddings are great if they suit you and your family but realistically I think people book them hoping people will say no coz they really want a small wedding.

Maddy70 · 16/08/2023 10:38

It would definitely depend who was getting married. I probably wouldn't go and use that mo ey on a holiday for my whole family to a destination we all wanted to go to

jackieb123 · 16/08/2023 10:50

I wouldn't go. If people decide to have their wedding overseas, they have to accept that some people can't/won't attend because of cost/distance/time away, etc.

UsingChangeofName · 16/08/2023 11:14

I would very much differentiate between a couple who just want to fly off into the sunset, rather than a couple getting married where they either live in another country, or where one of the couple are 'going home' to get married. I wouldn't lump the latter in with the former.

Loulaa1977 · 16/08/2023 11:24

Ohyasss · 15/08/2023 19:59

I’m not mad for the destination, it’s got a bit of a Brits on tour vibe to it. For instance I was looking on tui (and I do like tui for a deal here and there) but a lot of the hotels were 2* and in the pics looked quite, well to put it nicely dated. They were coming in at best part of 3k too!

person is a friend, was close once upon a time but has drifted last few years

I wouldn't go unless close family member. Esp not to tune of 3k

27Mankinis · 16/08/2023 12:00

It depends on many things.

  • if I could afford it, get the time off and it was somewhere i wanted to visit - maybe
  • if it were a family wedding and a complete obligation and i could afford it - probably
  • if Dcs were allowed and we could combine it with a family holiday - maybe
  • if it would be mega expensive and in school term time - unlikely
  • not a close friend or family member- unlikely

I got married in my DH's home country and then we had a much smaller dinner in my country afterwards. I did not expect anyone to come - parents did and an aunt did. That's all. None of my friends even expressed an interest in coming!

ohdamnitjanet · 16/08/2023 12:10

Big fat zero. Sister got married in Kenya decades ago and didn’t speak to me for months because I refused to spend a fortune and give up so much leave going somewhere I had no desire to go. If I want to travel I’ll choose the destination thank you. And as someone said here yesterday - when will people realise no one gives a stuff about their wedding?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/08/2023 12:11

ohdamnitjanet · 16/08/2023 12:10

Big fat zero. Sister got married in Kenya decades ago and didn’t speak to me for months because I refused to spend a fortune and give up so much leave going somewhere I had no desire to go. If I want to travel I’ll choose the destination thank you. And as someone said here yesterday - when will people realise no one gives a stuff about their wedding?

Did she ever concede on it?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/08/2023 12:22

Ohyasss · 15/08/2023 19:59

I’m not mad for the destination, it’s got a bit of a Brits on tour vibe to it. For instance I was looking on tui (and I do like tui for a deal here and there) but a lot of the hotels were 2* and in the pics looked quite, well to put it nicely dated. They were coming in at best part of 3k too!

person is a friend, was close once upon a time but has drifted last few years

for a not-close friend I wouldn’t spend on a destination at all.

We’re spending an absolute fortune on flights to Australia next year for BIL’s wedding, but we had years of notice. There’s no accommodation costs as SIL’s family are bunking in together to let us and MiL use one of their houses. And SIL is Australian so there’s a reason for tbt wedding being there. There was also no demand that we would go, they would have been fine if we couldn’t.

CoinsinaJar · 16/08/2023 12:25

That's a big fat NO from me. Decline the invitation politely, wish them well and do your normal holiday.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 16/08/2023 12:28

I’d only do it for a sibling (and only if I actually liked them) and there’d be a £1200 limit for the whole family (of 4).