Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How much would you pay to go to a destination wedding?

189 replies

Ohyasss · 15/08/2023 19:51

Average income, 4 people (2dcs, dh and I) We avoid summer hols and normally steal time around half term and a few days into term. Only one dc is in primary other is nursery. Invited to a wedding smack bang school hols (next yr)

how much would you pay?

im currently balking at the cost as it’s double what we spend on our naice summer (not school hols).

OP posts:
JLM1981 · 17/08/2023 09:55

LimeCheesecake · 15/08/2023 21:17

In my experience- people holding destination weddings don’t expect everyone to go. Most I know have confirmed the key people (parents, siblings, best man/bridesmaid etc) can make it /pay for them, then anyone else is a bonus, not expected.

so as a just a friend- not part of the wedding party, this is really just “if you fancy it” and you clearly don’t.

ive been to destination weddings, I’ve also declined weddings overseas (both destination and weddings of international friends just getting married back in their home town). You can’t afford this as you’ve already booked a family holiday, you don’t budget summer overseas holidays and this isn’t a best friend you are determined to be there for. Just decline, doesnt matter what my budget or anyone else’s would be.

This. Destination weddings are fairly common as are destination hen parties. If you want to go- you go. If you don't want to or can't afford to then it's a choice you have to make. I would be happy to go for a close friend or family member if I had plenty notice and could afford the destination. We are a family of 6 and normally spend 5k a year on a foreign holiday anyway. Hope it works out for you

BreakTheChain · 17/08/2023 11:05

Anyone that has a destination wedding should be aware people may not be able to attend. If they get shitty about it then they are selfish twats who don't deserve to be in your life.

We got married abroad during peak season and didn't expect anyone to attend. We made it clear to everyone as it was approx 1k per person to attend and not a destination most would have on their bucket list. We were pleasantly surprised how many people did attend and we actually made the wedding just a natural part of the holiday so encouraged everyone to do the activities they wanted and to treat it as they would any other holiday just keeping the wedding time free. The wedding ended up being very relaxed and everyone created their own memories outside of the wedding doing activities they had never done before.

If I was invited to a wedding of someone I cared about, had interest in the location and had the funds in the bank I would go. If I had to do days worth of wedding activities and couldn't have an actual holiday I would decline no matter where the destination was. Price is dependant on what you could afford and where it is so I wouldn't set a total. I would not sacrifice a family holiday already booked for a wedding abroad unless it was a sibling. We gave 2 years notice to prevent that happening

Lolalady · 17/08/2023 11:33

I’m off to Bali next month to attend the wedding of a friend ‘s daughter. I saw it as an opportunity to go somewhere I haven’t been before and as I’m on my own I’ll have the company of lots of people I know. However if the venue had been somewhere I wasn’t interested in going to, I wouldn’t have accepted the invite. I do know quite a few people have declined because they have children

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Weddings
Carzo · 17/08/2023 12:41

We paid 5k all together to go to my brother's wedding in Malta for one week. What a gigantic waste of money. His wife is a header.

purplecorkheart · 17/08/2023 14:22

For me it depends on how close I am to the couple, the destination and how easy I can get there.

In the circumstances you describe I wouldn't spend anything to go.

Justneedagirlname · 17/08/2023 16:05

I used to love destination weddings as a single / casually dating person.

now I would probably pay to go only to weddings of absolutely closest friends (in which case pretty much whatever £ is needed - but I would consider bringing costs down by going solo and leaving kids with DP if money is tight).

OsirisservesAnubis · 17/08/2023 16:06

Best friend, destination I wanted to go to and only being expected to be with the group the night before and day of wedding, then I'd spend my holiday budget on it.

Anyone else, or a place I didn't want to go, then I decline (and have, including for family members)

Justneedagirlname · 17/08/2023 16:07

In described circumstances (not close friend, drifted away, destination a bit meh) I wouldn’t go

Theroom · 17/08/2023 16:30

About £1000pp. That's what I spent for the last one.

But a) it was somewhere we wanted to go, b) it was our main holiday for the year and we extended the trip for a week after the wedding, c) I knew loads of other people going, d) I could afford it. We had a lovely time.

If it was immediate family or best friend I would suck it up regardless of destination assuming the cost was affordable to me.

Sounds like you don't want to go really, and that's ok. Just decline.

Original poster
Ohyasss · 17/08/2023 16:53

Theroom · 17/08/2023 16:30

About £1000pp. That's what I spent for the last one.

But a) it was somewhere we wanted to go, b) it was our main holiday for the year and we extended the trip for a week after the wedding, c) I knew loads of other people going, d) I could afford it. We had a lovely time.

If it was immediate family or best friend I would suck it up regardless of destination assuming the cost was affordable to me.

Sounds like you don't want to go really, and that's ok. Just decline.

I’d make it work if I hadn’t had another holiday booked, wouldn’t be my first choice as it’s a party island but would make it work and shop around to get a deal, but that’s because in truth it would suit me too. The friend is what you could say as a good time friend (your friend when all is right but is silent and avoids you when you’re going through it) so all in all I suppose I’m not really willing to cancel my existing holiday

OP posts:
BelovedLucy · 17/08/2023 16:55

I’d only go if it was family or a very close friend, or if if was somewhere I wanted to go anyway. I wouldn’t think twice about declining in your shoes.

Doone21 · 17/08/2023 18:11

I had destination wedding, paid for parents, invited siblings but didn't expect anyone to come so it was nice that they did

KateJohns · 17/08/2023 18:13

£0

I wouldn't go.

PinkCherryBlossoms · 17/08/2023 20:49

In your shoes, nothing.

Seaswimmingforthesoul · 17/08/2023 20:59

It would totally depend on who it was/ what the situations is/your finances etc.
Persobally, if it was someone really close and somewhere we would love to go then I'd be happy to pay what we would for our usual holiday as treat it as our main holiday that year - maybe up to 5k

If we weren't that fussed about the location, or not particularly close to the couple then I would decline.
I went to Vegas for a wedding once,.when I was single, one of the best weeks of my life. Definitely different with kids now though. It would need to suit us.

EnthENd · 17/08/2023 21:11

If I really like the destination anyway, and I can go for less than £1000 and preferably closer to £500, I'd consider it. My own holiday this year (travelling solo) cost me less than 500 quid, although that doesn't include food and attraction spending when I was there.

Merapi · 17/08/2023 21:34

It's simple. You just gracefully decline the invitation, Say that you had already booked your holiday to WDW before you got their save the day, that is your entire holiday budget blown for the year, so unfortunately you are unable to go.

AubadeIsIt · 17/08/2023 21:54

soupmaker · 15/08/2023 21:05

Exactly £0. I absolutely love a wedding but no way would I spend £1000s on getting to a destination wedding. Not even for my best friend, let alone someone who's now more of a casual pal. I actually think it's the ultimate in selfish nonsense to expect people to attend a destination wedding unless it's all paid for by the people getting married.

There are things more selfish. It can be a wonderful experience and an opportunity to make new friends over the week or two that everyone is together. Obviously if one can't afford it they shouldn't go. Otherwise, an open mind goes a long way.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/08/2023 22:33

@Ohyasss that's ok! You definitely shouting attend a destination wedding unless you want to go to that place or think you'll have a good time there!

QueenBitch666 · 18/08/2023 00:10

Nothing. Destination weddings are self absorbed bollocks

SgtPercyTwentyman · 18/08/2023 00:53

Brefugee · 15/08/2023 19:52

Nothing. I would decline such an invitation.

Beat me to it @Brefugee !

tuvamoodyson · 18/08/2023 06:18

Nothing. I wouldn’t go.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 18/08/2023 10:31

I wouldn't go to a destination for a friend's wedding, especially not a fair-weather friend as your friends seems to be. The exception would be if it was somewhere that I would really like to go to anyway. We did once go to a friend's wedding in New England pre DC, but we made it a nearly three week holiday and had a great time. Plus, technically it wasn't a 'destination' wedding because it was in the bride's home town.

If it was a close relative (that I also liked) then maybe I would go because it would be a good opportunity to see all the relatives again, but I might go by myself and not drag the whole family if they weren't interested.

Send a present and best wishes and don't tolerate any attempt at a guilt trip.

Phoenixfire1988 · 18/08/2023 16:31

I'd decline the invite and go on my usual family holiday in this case .
I'd only consider going if it was a very close family member and even then it would be iffy

Lizzieregina · 18/08/2023 18:06

It’s an invitation NOT a summons. Expecting someone to pay all the costs for guests is ridiculous.