What the fuck made this bastard

[WhatcreaturemaderthishHellWEB]

What on earth made this??

As you can’t reach it, I’d resolve yourself to never opening your bedroom window again and leaving it be.

I’m really frightened of spiders, to the extent I can’t kill them even if I really want to. So I mostly just accept I have to share space with them and they’re not likely at all to hurt me, as I live in the UK.

House Martin I expect

Flamethrower

I’d guess at possibly a tube web spider. I had one in my old house, lived in a hole right by my front door with a cone shaped web . It was HUGE I saw it one night when I returned home, it was dark with only two street lights and I could see it’s legs poking out the holes while I was still sat in my car!! It came out every night once dusk, I am seriously afraid of spiders so I didn’t leave my house or go out my front door as soon as it started getting dark the entire time I lived there. Pretty sure we have one outside our new house too but we live more in the country so to be expected I suppose, it’s ground level so I have no fear of it falling on my etc I’m more likely to accidentally step on it!

House spiders live in outhouses and are harmless lol. The scary part is wearing shorts, and our terriers would chase , and bring the still moving legs to the sofa.

Can I please jump on the band wagon while we’re guessing? What do you think this is? I think it might be from last year, ive not noticed anything going in or out.

Ok so this looks just like a tube web spider, (Segestria florentina) web. There are many of them in southern England in particular. One good way to test that theory is to shine a torch at the web after dark. That's when the spider sits at the opening of the tube waiting for prey. Try a few times and with a bit of luck you'll see it.

Was there meant to be a photo? Nothing is displaying for me.

I’d move house

This is it poking out of the hole. It’s a big beggar!!

Christ almighty!

<runs away>

I agree

Having been bitten, on the back of my ankle, by a false widow, I can tell you it’s in my top 5 of most painful experiences (with gallstones, calcium deposit in my shoulder and Vasculitis attacking my ears up there with it!). The blister and pain almost led to me passing out. Thankfully I got antibiotics quickly, but couldn’t walk on it for three days and two years later the area is still discoloured. Not to be taken lightly, and they are not welcome in my house and are removed quickly if seen

Segestria Floratina, SP. A tube Web spider. More likely to see it at night with an emerald green sheen to it. Otherwise, a lace-weaver spider. Both harmless.

Definitely a tube Web spider! Segestria Florentina.

House martin.

I would love to know where the OP is from. Because the question is the exact same wording as I kept on hearing in a part of Britain I once lived in. I don't want to shame her, but I wonder if she is from there?

OP, are you from a place with the initials F.P.?

Absolutely leave the beasty alone.... its obviously made a beautiful home that suits its requirements......assuming a spider..... they do a lot of good catching the flies.....call it Charlotte.... you might not be so afraid then! 😊

Sorry, it’s late, I’m tired, and so I’m too lazy to read the full thread, but I’d guess labyrinth spider web.

Do you live in Ireland? We have friends in Donegal who had one of these in the porch outside the front door of their farmhouse. About the size of a small mug with a hole in the middle. They only use the backdoor so weren't bothered but it was a spider of some kind. Disappeared over the winter.

Omg this is it! The webs are almost identical it has to be this

😂

@Ejismyf please do and expand what you saw.

@Barbarolo

We have absolutely loads of those lower down

If I compare what I have lower down compared with this one by my window it's like a giant one...

To be fair I've beverage actually seen what's in those holes bar the feet poking out.

However high up on neighbours wall adjoining ours I saw something absolutely massive moving.. Like a hand moving

I'll try and get a pic of my lower down tunnel /tube /funnel web to mow as size comparison

Closing my bedroom window 😱