What the fuck made this bastard

[WhatcreaturemaderthishHellWEB]

What on earth made this??

I ve tried today and I can't get at its from the way it is.

Tigers drink all the f*cking tea.

Spiders rub their willies on your washing at night.

Which is worse? 🤔

Where is Harry Hill when you need him?

100% this

@NeverDropYourMooncup is that so! Well now I’ve tried the grass trick and nothing came out. I am disappointed, maybe it’s moved.

It doesn't matter what made the nest, its nature and home to something. Leave nature alone. How would you feel if someone tore down your home whilst you were out?
I'm petrified of spiders too, it's definitely learned behaviour so try not to pass fear of anything onto your children 😊

I know four people who have been bitten by what appeared to be False Widow spiders including DH.

Not a single bad reaction. DHs reaction was the worst (he reacts badly to midge bites, nettle stings and has allergies) but it was just a very itchy large lump. The others were mildly itchy small lumps which went quickly.

I currently have 4 false windows in my conservatory one in each corner if the roof. The only problem is the little graveyards they leave on the windowsills.

The most annoying spider is the large one in my garden. EVERY night it builds a large web stretching from the water butt to the lamp on the shed. Unfortunately this means it spans the shed door so I have to gently move it whenever I need to go in the shed. I apologise every time.

If its large and dark brown/black with a dhiny body it may be a funnel Web spider. Do NOT attempt to handle it without protective clothing and something to kill it with, they are very venomous, we're talking 15 minutes until you die level of venomous and very aggressive to anything touching their web. However they are vanishingly rare to find in the UK, they're native to Australia.

It may be a labyrinth spider which spin the same type of web but are harmless. Their look very different, longer thinner legs and a more elongated body. Usually light brown/grey with a central stripe. You'd have to lure it out to know though.

@Emotionalsupportviper if a tiger came to my house, I would happily give them all my tea and food. funnily there is a very old children's story around the same vein in bengali. but in it the tiger is vegetarian and Eats all the rice and daal.

the spiders just need therapy and they will be fine.

the spiders just need therapy and they will be fine

When we're seeing posts about Australian spiders that are going to kill you in fifteen minutes living underneath guttering in a cold and damp of a British suburban semi, having clearly escaped from Fyffes in Basingstoke and walked all the way from a pallet of bananas to choose the OP's roof drainage system above everywhere else in between, I don't think it's the spiders that need therapy here.

@NeverDropYourMooncup 😂😂

Well if you think that is scary.. I was watching a guy on You tube who had a batch of Black Widow babies. They escaped.. all over his house. Fun!

NeverDropYourMooncup 👏

@HideTheCroissants.. That extremely lucky if it was false widow and they got away with mild itch.

After what I've seen they are not a spider I would leave alone in my house with children and mess with.

Often it's the bacteria in their fangs that can cause the infection.

@Sandals94
Not touching /can't touch web a repeatedly stated.

No actually a fear of spiders isn't necessarily learned behavior.

@Balloonhearts

Thanks 🤣.

I've actually come face to face with one thankfully thru glass in oz..

Exotic spiders have been seen in UK, all sorts of things happen.. People keep them, move, they escape through lofts... Come in luggage...

Managed to get this closer up

It's an incredible structure, whatever made it.

I have no fear of spiders but false widows can give a nasty bite. And if those scary funnel webs did make it into the UK, I might be persuaded to change my mind.

My money's on a solitary wasp.

I'd be spraying something up there or getting someone to remove it. Yuck

@HideTheCroissants.. That extremely lucky if it was false widow and they got away with mild itch.

Why do you keep repeating this bollocks? The vast vast majority of people bitten by a false widow will get nothing more than a mild itch or mild pain.

Its a swallows attempt at nest building

People believe all sorts of rot! If people can be bothered to read ACTUAL information rather than scaremongering tabloid BS then they would know that bad reactions are incredibly rare. But no, let’s just panic and try to incite more panic. 🙄

This nest is made by a tube Web spider.

Oh thats what it looks like! Ok, nothing to worry about :)

@HideTheCroissants

I can only go on the bollocks I see and know..
The people I know who have been bitten have been badly effected which is exactly why I became aware of them and started to look into it more. It's written in loads of places that they can give a bite which is medically significant in humans.

@Hurryupdoris yes indeed... I've got serval around lower down in bricks and the size of this one compared to theirs is" significant. "

@WhatcreaturemaderthishHellWEB is this what you spotted on your wall a while ago. They are in the south east of England. They aren't poisonous but can give a nasty bite similar to a bee sting.

Wolf spider or tube web spider