What the fuck made this bastard

[WhatcreaturemaderthishHellWEB]

What on earth made this??

Sorry I meant funnel weaver spider.

I absolutely HATE spiders. But - we have a tunnel web spider literally right by our front door. I don't know how to explain it but I was so scared of it I just left it... And after a couple of years I only ever once saw a peep of it. He kept himself to himself, got rid of flies and other spiders who WALK AROUND.

So I ended up quite liking him. As long as they keep themselves to themselves. Don't start stringing cobwebs up around the house or dangling in front of my face the evil little bastards.

The funnel web is a bit of a terrifying mother fucker but I never saw him so it became mutual respect.

Wow, how exciting! What a great opportunity for a holiday project with the kids (or for yourself). I’d get a wildlife camera set up on it, so I could keep an eye on any comings & goings. Then once I’d found out what it was I’d get the kids to find out more about the animal’s habitat, food & behaviour. The photo is a bit pixelated so it’s difficult to be 100% but I’d say it’s a bird nest. The size of the opening looks too big for wasps/hornets/insects. Get a camera set up from your bedroom window. Leave well alone though, disturbing bird nests & bats is illegal.

I've not seen or heard noticed anything coming from it, any buzzing I would hear immediately and notice and no birds..

With hyperbole such as:

”What the fuck made this bastard”

“it's absolutely HUGE”

and

”it's absolutely massive”

there is no way the poor creature living in it is gonna be left alone by the op, despite the fact it’s out side the house and not bothering the op at all.

🙄

It looks quite small to me, when you compare it to the brick size and pipe

Just leave it be, it's not harming you

Wasp nest - amazing things made of paper …blows my mind when you see them in detail minus the wasps 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

https://www.dkgpestcontrol.co.uk/inside-a-wasp-nest

https://www.rhs.org.uk/biodiversity/wasps-including-hornets

so rhs say to leave if possible , the colony dies in late autumn and they don’t reuse nest. You could remove nest but then there’s a chance a new colony will build from scratch a different year. You can actually buy decoy nests on line to stop new nests apparently! Obviously if they’re causing a risk or you’ve got someone who’s allergic then a pest controller is needed- don’t try to remove a live one yourself 😱😱🤣

They ground nest- this is up high

Looks like swallows nest - just leave it alone, they'll be gone in the autumn.

Also, exotic spider's chances of surviving outside in the UK are very slim, especially with the weather we're having. When you couple that with the fact it's extremely rare they even make it to UK, chances of it being one is extremely unlikely

I agree. It looks like a swallows nest. Even if it’s not, is it really doing any harm? We have a false widow living in our conservatory and he’s not doing any harm and is doing a great job with controlling the flies. Bees and butterflies are another issue though. Have to be vigilant if the door is open so they don’t become a snack.

What have you seen flying around that area? It could a bird or wasp nest.

haha love this.

It looks like a birds nest to me but I could be wrong as it’s hard to tell in the pic.

I would try and see what’s going in and out of it.
If they’re laying their eggs they may stay in there for a couple of days.

If you have a camera I’d set that up so you don’t have to stand there for hours.

Tbh it’s probably an old one.

That's a bird nest, surely. The entrance hole is massive, compared to the size of the nest so the resident....

a) needs to come and go frequently
and
b) is big compared to the nest size

The obvious answer is a parent bird.

It is a bird's nest and not being used at the minute.

David Attenborough??

Christ, much respect to you. Think I would’ve torched the house.

It’s far, far too small to be a swallow or martin nest and the tiny British birds don’t make that kind of nest (and are still too big). Unless OP has massive gutters of course.

Fascinating!

It's probably a House Spider's web... the massive brown spiders that come in the house in the Autumn and gallop across the floor. They make funnel webs. It's harmless.

I think I would definitely recognise sallow and house Martin nest and we do have those inside the eaves.

I'm alarmed because it is massive and looks like a spiders web...

Omg IMMIGRANTS!

Don't act pathetic, OP.

I'd have thought swallow or house martin nest but it looks very small next to drain pipe and doesn't look quite right next to google images of such nests.

https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/spider-webs.html#:~:text=British%20spider%20webs%20can%20be,%2C%20lace%2C%20radial%20and%20purse.

There are UK funnel web spider webs - but seems to high for them.

I would have though wasps you'd have seen and heard them.

So no idea sorry.

Nazi zombie wasps wearing hoodies.

Could be a labyrinth spider, they spin funny little round webs like that. Difficult to tell how big it is from the photo, but we had one on our drain and it looked fairly similar. They're harmless, won't bother you if you leave them be.