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Original poster

How could he cheat(update)

466 replies

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 19:11

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/07/2023 07:41

Speak to tights of woman about getting an occupation order and non-molestation order.

Greenfree · 23/07/2023 07:41

Glad your saw the solicitor OP and got some proper advice. Sorry to hear he's destroying your break, my solicitor told me if my ex tries to damage my things then I'm within my write to call the police for damage to property - if I was you I would stay on the break and tell him you'll be ringing the police if anything is damaged, this will help you be granted an occupation order. I'm surprised your solicitor didn't advise you of this, I'd talk to them again. Hope your ok

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/07/2023 07:53

I didn’t see your other threads but how on earth is it your fault her marriage is destroyed? She cheated on her husband, no matter how he found out, she destroyed her own marriage

Meeting · 23/07/2023 08:52

@EnjoyingTheSilence it's not even remotely OP's fault. Her DH had an affair and the other woman was also married. They both tried to bully OP to stay silent but she (rightly and after much deliberation) decided to tell OW's husband. He was already suspicious and dealing with bereavement and left her and now she is blaming OP. She's absolute scum.

AutumnCrow · 23/07/2023 09:13

I don’t think you’re getting top notch advice from your solicitor there, OP. What is their speciality supposed to be?

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 09:58

solicitor says if he destroys my stuff then I have to let the police know. I can’t just have him out the house though as he is also the owner.

OP posts:
Darkandstormynite · 23/07/2023 09:59

It's a really good move to change your number.

Don't give it to your ex. Tell him all communications go through email as you'll need to discuss the divorce with your solicitor. Any arrangements regarding the children must go through the In-laws.

I'd be thinking about a cease and desist letter from your solicitor to the OW if she tries other forms of contact.

Greenfree · 23/07/2023 11:03

Yeah that's correct but you can apply for an occupation order which is where a judge grants one of you the right to love there without the other until a divorce etc is finalised. You can only get one of one of you is damaging property, abusive or your in danger ect. It's free to apply for one but your solicitor may charge to actually do the paperwork.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/07/2023 11:38

@Meeting thats what I was saying, it’s in no way ops fault

Its unbelievable how people can twist things to suit their narrative.

Darkandstormynite · 23/07/2023 11:56

EnjoyingTheSilence

Anger is a much easier emotion to deal with than guilt. it's easier to lash out at others than really look at yourself. Most people spend their lives running from any serious introspection. The OW has form for this sort of behaviour as her now ex husband confirmed. She's probably quite damaged in one way or another if she's a habitual adulterer. She managed to manipulate her STBEX into forgiving her previously, so she's used to getting away with it. The OP didn't give into to her bullying or manipulation so now the OP is wrong in her eyes.

Best thing is treat her as a toxic person and avoid at all costs. There is no understanding just damage limitation.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 12:52

OW is worried I’ve sent the proof to her husband which I never did as he was decent enough to believe me.

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 12:53

I’ve been looking at rental houses so I can maybe move out with kids while divorce and everything settles as it’s not worth fighting with him everyday about this

OP posts:
Darkandstormynite · 23/07/2023 13:02

howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 12:53

I’ve been looking at rental houses so I can maybe move out with kids while divorce and everything settles as it’s not worth fighting with him everyday about this

This is a really good move. You're taking the power away from him and keeping the kids away from a volatile situation.

It will make it much easier for you, then you can just focus on getting the house sold and a settlement sorted.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:34

@Darkandstormynite exactly as I can’t be bothered with his drama. I got appointment to look at a house on Tuesday, I don’t know how I’m going to afford it but I’m going try as I can’t be doing this with KH as it’s not fair on the kids and the kids need to come first in this situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:37

He’s kicked off with his parents too, he’s told them they are banned from the house! Poor parents are devastated and rang me really upset. He told them when he had the kids they won’t be allowed to see them. How nasty can you be? The same parents who have been good to you, the same parents who offered to clear off your debts so you don’t get in trouble and have always had your back!!!! Vile vile human I married

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:38

His parents have offered me to stay at their house but I can’t do that to them they have gone through hell with him too

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:39

I’m just sooooooo upesey and angry that I have to now look at somewhere to stay while he is the one that has done wrong to me!!! Me and kids have to suffer moving out and reorganising our life so he can still carry on living normal! Why is it so unfair

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:41

Upset**

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/07/2023 13:42

Please speak to Rights of Woman, his behaviour is escalating so there is a reasonable chance of obtaining an occupation order which means he is removed and barred until finances sorted.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:43

@RandomMess will
do thanks x

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 23/07/2023 13:54

@howcanhedothis18 I would recommend keeping your number, but transfer your sim into a new v v v basic, cheap as you can get it phone
Then he won't be able to send you videos and more.

Put a new sim with a new number into your current phone and don't let KH or her have the new number.
Your phone provider can help you with all that if you're not good at tech.

Darkandstormynite · 23/07/2023 13:55

howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:39

I’m just sooooooo upesey and angry that I have to now look at somewhere to stay while he is the one that has done wrong to me!!! Me and kids have to suffer moving out and reorganising our life so he can still carry on living normal! Why is it so unfair

He's not living normally though is he? he's blown up his life for a cheap thrill. He's thrown away his wife, his life, and lost the respect of his family, especially his parents and sister. There's no happy ending here for him. So don't fall into the trap of thinking that.

He's now got to live with his family looking at him differently and not really trusting him. They won't provide a financial safety net in the future I bet. Time will soften things and people won't talk about it but it will be remembered.

DancingFerret · 23/07/2023 16:52

howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 13:39

I’m just sooooooo upesey and angry that I have to now look at somewhere to stay while he is the one that has done wrong to me!!! Me and kids have to suffer moving out and reorganising our life so he can still carry on living normal! Why is it so unfair

I'm pleased you're back, OP; I was wondering how you were coping. Most people here have your back and have offered good advice and support (I really could have done with somewhere like this when I got divorced; it would have saved me a lot of grief, sleepless nights, and uncertainty). Just ignore the trolls; they get a kick out of hurting others - a bit like kh, really.
With regards to the house, I wouldn't rush to move out and would instead consult your solicitor to see if there's any way he can be forced to leave. The bottom line is is the children come first. Why should they have to leave their home in order to have a peaceful life with you? If kh is a high earner he can more than likely afford to rent somewhere until the divorce and financials are finalised.

Damnedidont · 23/07/2023 17:17

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/07/2023 07:53

I didn’t see your other threads but how on earth is it your fault her marriage is destroyed? She cheated on her husband, no matter how he found out, she destroyed her own marriage

Exactly!! And this is the SECOND time the OW has done this to her DH

adriftinadenofvipers · 23/07/2023 17:18

DancingFerret · 23/07/2023 16:52

I'm pleased you're back, OP; I was wondering how you were coping. Most people here have your back and have offered good advice and support (I really could have done with somewhere like this when I got divorced; it would have saved me a lot of grief, sleepless nights, and uncertainty). Just ignore the trolls; they get a kick out of hurting others - a bit like kh, really.
With regards to the house, I wouldn't rush to move out and would instead consult your solicitor to see if there's any way he can be forced to leave. The bottom line is is the children come first. Why should they have to leave their home in order to have a peaceful life with you? If kh is a high earner he can more than likely afford to rent somewhere until the divorce and financials are finalised.

Show quote history

I totally agree! Try to find a legal way to keep the bastard out. He's caused enough damage to you and your children already. He just needs to fuck off.

His poor parents too. Well at least they see him for what he is now. He may live to regret that move. However, the more he kicks off, the more you will have him by the short and curlies. Let him at it, stupid fucker.