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Original poster

How could he cheat(update)

466 replies

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 19:11

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 19/07/2023 21:26

Glad to have the update and know you are as ok as you can been.

Was sad when I saw your threads were deleted.

Do we know whether the other marriage is going to try and survive?

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:27

No idea, I don’t blame people forgiving as honestly it’s the most hardest thing I’ve been through. I now understand it. I think it’s sometimes easier to forgive and forget

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 19/07/2023 21:28

Glad you've spoken to him, hopefully he now realises it's over and can move forward.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:34

one thing I’ve learnt and that is when somebody hurts you and betrays you we automatically start questioning ourselves even if we are the victim in the situation. We just question everything and we end up seeing all the flaws and not the good things. If anyone ever gets ina situation like myself I really would say I’d be kind to yourself and take as much help as you can in terms of support. People are going to judge regardless x

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:36

Yday I couldn’t see a way out of this mess and today I feel different. I feel productive and very in control, I don’t know how long it will last but I feel so proud of myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:38

KN did mention that ow is also getting a divorce whether I believe him i don’t know. But if she is I can’t help feel for her too. Regardless what she has put me through she’s still a mother and will probably go through all the worries and stress of a divorce

OP posts:
vipersnest1 · 19/07/2023 21:48

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:38

KN did mention that ow is also getting a divorce whether I believe him i don’t know. But if she is I can’t help feel for her too. Regardless what she has put me through she’s still a mother and will probably go through all the worries and stress of a divorce

I wouldn't waste your energy on that - she knew about you, you didn't know about her.
I found it very helpful to finally decide XH and OW deserve each other. That might help you too.

Hiddenvoice · 19/07/2023 21:59

You sound good op! It’s great to read you’re in a better place today and I guess meeting with the ex will have helped soothe your mind.
I’m hoping he works with you getting the divorce. As horrible as this has been for you and your children, I hope it goes smoothly.

It’s warming to see you think nicely of ow after everything she put you through, it shows you are the much bigger person!

Hope you can relax a bit now before your trip away with the kids!

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 19/07/2023 22:02

Well done OP. It takes courage to stay strong like you have.
Onwards and upwards x

YoSof · 19/07/2023 22:10

You sound lovely Op, and like you have your head screwed on. You should be proud of yourself!

You deserve so much better x

AutumnCrow · 19/07/2023 22:23

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:38

KN did mention that ow is also getting a divorce whether I believe him i don’t know. But if she is I can’t help feel for her too. Regardless what she has put me through she’s still a mother and will probably go through all the worries and stress of a divorce

It's not good if he's sitting there in the limited time you had together to talk about your children, passing on news about his other woman's marriage status.

TJworried · 19/07/2023 22:34

Was worried when threads were deleted. Glad u r ok and well done for standing up to ex. 💐

OnAWobblyFence · 20/07/2023 01:09

I missed why you called the police. It was in the first thread. What did he do that necessitated police involvement?

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 20/07/2023 02:00

The police were involved due to his unstable behaviour and his threats. I just felt very uneasy and needed some guidance of my rights.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 20/07/2023 02:03

I suspect he told you about her divorce in an effort to make you feel bad that Nice Husband has told OW to sling her hook, because you told him about her shitty treatment of him.

The only response to that is to utterly ignore.

Be careful what you wish for KH and OW because sometimes you get exactly what you wanted which turns out to be exactly what you deserve.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/07/2023 03:42

Thanks for the update. Glad you are feeling better.

mathanxiety · 20/07/2023 03:43

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 21:34

one thing I’ve learnt and that is when somebody hurts you and betrays you we automatically start questioning ourselves even if we are the victim in the situation. We just question everything and we end up seeing all the flaws and not the good things. If anyone ever gets ina situation like myself I really would say I’d be kind to yourself and take as much help as you can in terms of support. People are going to judge regardless x

So true.

The only thing to do is to be true to yourself, and to make sure your children have a happy, stable life under your wings, and to model self respect, confidence, and competence for them.

People will talk until the next thing comes along to grab their attention. Let them. You don't owe them anything.

Damnedidont · 20/07/2023 03:49

Welcome back OP. I've followed your threads from the beginning and struggle to understand how you could possibly have offended anyone! I think some people spend their lives looking for someone to dump on.

Beaverbridge · 20/07/2023 08:48

Morning lovely. You, re totally bossing it. Good for you, faced kh, told him what was happening. You've taken back control, massive respect. Onwards and upwards for you and kids.

Ilikejamtarts · 20/07/2023 09:07

Glad you managed to have a sit down with him, although can't understand why he thinks it's appropriate to sit there telling you about the OW personal life 🤷🏻‍♀️
Are you still going to have your break with your grandmother?

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 20/07/2023 09:29

Morning everyone! Today I feel in the dumps not going lie. Yday was such a high and now really feeling it today. Trying not think about stuff. Off to do some shopping for mine and kids break tomorow so looking forward to it. Arghhhhh got bad anxiety today

OP posts:
lizard202 · 20/07/2023 12:28

Just think of your break, relax and enjoy your time away with the kids and don't even think about KH. Just focus on you guys and wine and good chats. Have a lovely time

Meeting · 20/07/2023 12:32

So lovely to hear from you OP, I'm glad you managed to have that conversation. I really hope he allows everything to go smoothly from here on out. Have a lovely break away x

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 20/07/2023 14:12

Thank you guys x

OP posts:
zooopta · 20/07/2023 17:30

Thinking of you @howcanhedothis18 x