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Original poster

How could he cheat(update)

466 replies

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 19:11

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

OP posts:
OnAWobblyFence · 21/07/2023 05:31

howcanhedothis18 · 20/07/2023 02:00

The police were involved due to his unstable behaviour and his threats. I just felt very uneasy and needed some guidance of my rights.

You don’t contact the police for “guidance of your rights”. That’s not what they are there for. Divorce is a civil matter. You contact a solicitor or citizens advice for “guidance of your rights”. I’m surprised you dslkedcttrmbdibcevyou were planning to change the locks. I’m sure they told you that you can’t do that if he’s on the deeds. Not a good idea to call the police on someone if you’re planning to break the law yourself.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 06:19

@OnAWobblyFence i didn’t know that I couldn’t change the locks so when I did find out obviously I didn’t. As for calling the police they were glad I did after I told them what had been going on. He had been threatening me all day and like I said he was unstable so didn’t know what he was going to do. In term of guidance to my right the police told me exactly what I CAN and CANNOT do so that helped me NOT breaking any rules in this situation x

OP posts:
Meeting · 21/07/2023 07:32

@OnAWobblyFence were you on OP's previous threads? She was absolutely 100% right to call the police and had numerous people on here suggest that she do so. It sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.

barbarahunter · 21/07/2023 07:42

I hope you and the kids have a lovely time away, @howcanhedothis18 . I am rooting for you x

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 09:05

@Meeting , @barbarahunter thank you guys x

OP posts:
idkbroidk · 21/07/2023 21:16

how were you and the kids today, OP? xxx

vipersnest1 · 21/07/2023 22:23

@howcanhedothis18, it would be a terrible accident if one of the locks broke and so you needed to replace it, whilst keeping the keys in all of the others for fire safety, wouldn't it? Wink

adriftinadenofvipers · 21/07/2023 22:31

OnAWobblyFence · 21/07/2023 05:31

You don’t contact the police for “guidance of your rights”. That’s not what they are there for. Divorce is a civil matter. You contact a solicitor or citizens advice for “guidance of your rights”. I’m surprised you dslkedcttrmbdibcevyou were planning to change the locks. I’m sure they told you that you can’t do that if he’s on the deeds. Not a good idea to call the police on someone if you’re planning to break the law yourself.

Show quote history

If you don't know what you are talking about then it's best not to say anything.

Hope you and the kids have a lovely break away from all of the shit, @howcanhedothis18 x

ChelseaGem · 21/07/2023 22:41

You’re doing really well. 💐

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 23:40

Hey guys! Just wanted give you all a update. So drama happened before me n kids set off on our little break. KH said I couldn’t take the kids as all a sudden he wanted spend some time with them. He started again with me cheating on HIM(can’t believe it). Eventually I still left with the kids, told him they can FaceTime him as much as possible but I will not be cancelling this trip due to promising the kids. I’ve had to block him after each FaceTime as he keeps texting me. Don’t think this will ever end for me. I have 2 messages also from Deena which are unread. Don’t want to open them as I don’t understand what else she would like to say to me

OP posts:
Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 23:44

Kids are happy that’s the main thing! Today I’m feeling abit drained out but excited for the next few days. Hope weather behaves x

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 21/07/2023 23:47

You accidentally used OW name again in your second most recent post OP. I would report the post to Mumsnet and ask them to remove the name as I know you were worried about the previous threads being identifiable.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 23:53

@monsteramunch thank you for letting me know. I’m really crap at this lol

OP posts:
adriftinadenofvipers · 22/07/2023 01:16

howcanhedothis18 · 21/07/2023 23:53

@monsteramunch thank you for letting me know. I’m really crap at this lol

Just report it - MN will delete it. You need a pseudonym for her too. How about Knobhead and ThatThing, KH and TT for short xx

You could just delete her messages unread, if you're strong enough? I think I'd be too nosey though! Don't answer it.

Meeting · 22/07/2023 07:39

Don't open the texts from her, she doesn't deserve any of your headspace. Also agree she needs her own nickname!

twigy100 · 22/07/2023 20:07

How your ok Op and having a nice break x

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 22/07/2023 22:55

Drama happened again! I don’t know if this will ever end! KH kicked off that I was away even though he has been in contact with the kids. I’m coming back tomorow as he is just throwing his toys out the pram. He threatened that if I don’t come tomorow he will throw all my stuff out the house which I can’t be dealing with. I read OW messages arghhh too much to deal with

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 22/07/2023 22:56

howcanhedothis18 · 22/07/2023 22:55

Drama happened again! I don’t know if this will ever end! KH kicked off that I was away even though he has been in contact with the kids. I’m coming back tomorow as he is just throwing his toys out the pram. He threatened that if I don’t come tomorow he will throw all my stuff out the house which I can’t be dealing with. I read OW messages arghhh too much to deal with

Please, please inform the police of his latest threats.

He's getting into potential non mol territory now. He really is a bastard.

Poppyseeks · 22/07/2023 23:04

Report all this to the police. Every time! What could the OW possibly want from you?

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/07/2023 23:57

He wont throw your stuff out of the house, he is trying to find the point where you break and do as you are told.

Imagine how he would look if he actually did that. To his family, friends and the neighbours. He wont do it.

But if you go back, he will know what your trigger point is and that will be an ongoing threat.....every time he wants you to do something it will be "or I will get yours and the kids stuff out!". Whats the worst that would happen if he did? He will look like an utter prick (even more than he already is) and you have yet more ammunition in the divorce and application for a NMO. Its a non-threat anyway because just as much as he had a right to go back to the house, so do you and he cannot stop you. He knows that, he is praying that you dont.

Thats the lesson he needs to learn about ultimatums.....the other person can say "Ok, if thats what you choose to do". Dont give in.

adriftinadenofvipers · 23/07/2023 00:32

I am sure someone with experience will no doubt correct me but what redress does he actually have if you were to change the locks? You shouldn't have to worry about the security of your and your children's home when you are away. I'd come back, get the locks changed and return to your granny's! Any legal process he might have to engage in to gain access would take time, and allow you the security to have a break away from him in peace.

Block the slag and don't engage with her at all. Not your monkeys, not your circus! I do hope she is suffering from the fallout of her actions.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/07/2023 00:45

adriftinadenofvipers · 23/07/2023 00:32

I am sure someone with experience will no doubt correct me but what redress does he actually have if you were to change the locks? You shouldn't have to worry about the security of your and your children's home when you are away. I'd come back, get the locks changed and return to your granny's! Any legal process he might have to engage in to gain access would take time, and allow you the security to have a break away from him in peace.

Block the slag and don't engage with her at all. Not your monkeys, not your circus! I do hope she is suffering from the fallout of her actions.

He can go to court and gain access to the property as he co-owns it. It will look very bad against the OP if she does it in the subsequent divorce.

I believe that there are work arounds, but I dont know enough about those to comment.

adriftinadenofvipers · 23/07/2023 00:51

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/07/2023 00:45

He can go to court and gain access to the property as he co-owns it. It will look very bad against the OP if she does it in the subsequent divorce.

I believe that there are work arounds, but I dont know enough about those to comment.

Show quote history

Wouldn't his threats mitigate against that? OP needs to be able to protect her and her childrens' property surely? Genuinely asking, because I don't know. Just don't think the arsehole should be able to keep her on tenterhooks with his threats.

I just think it's awful that she can't go away for a week after all the fucker has put her through, without having to return home to protect her things. If that's the law, then the law is an ass.

Original poster
howcanhedothis18 · 23/07/2023 07:12

Thanks for all your advice appreciate it. KH took a video of my stuff which he was packing in black bags, I panicked and told him I will be home today. Hate the fact I’m running back just because he has that power. I rang the solicitor and they said document it all with the police but unfortunately if he owes half the house then he has every right to do what he wants. Im just really upset that I have to now tell the kids we are going back later today. I’ve asked pil to be there when I come back as I don’t want to deal with him in my own since I don’t know which mood il come home to.

As for OW she messaged saying this- Hope KH makes your life hell like you have made mine. My marriage has been destroyed because of you. Your a vile person

I am changing my number today. I don’t know how this has become my fault??

OP posts:
Meeting · 23/07/2023 07:34

How dare she try and blame you?! That vile bitch only had her cheating self to blame OP. Good idea about changing your number.

Sorry he's continuing to be a KH and ruining your trip, living up to his new name I suppose. Let that show you once again how he only gives a shit about his self, doesn't care what his children want. Take as many pictures and videos as possible.