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Original poster

Ex requesting birth certificates

200 replies

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:05

My ex is leaving the country (UK) to move back to his home country (EU)

He is leaving this week although won't tell me a date. He is pressuring me for copies of the children's birth certificates.

Is there any reason why I should refrain from giving him a copy?

They are 2 and 1 years and don't have passports yet.

I'll give him a copy to keep the peace if there's nothing he could really do with it, but don't want to willingly hand it over if I'm opening myself up for him to try and take the children

Feeling pretty broken so appreciate any replies

OP posts:
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6
nasanas · 12/07/2023 19:07

He can get his own copy. You don't have to provide him with it. Potentially he is planning to get them passports but you can't prevent that anyway.

KickAssAngel · 12/07/2023 19:07

He could use them to get passports in his own country, and you wouldn't know he had them.

poshme · 12/07/2023 19:10

Likely to use them to get passports.

Might be worth you getting passports for them and then keeping the passports. (As he then can't get British passports)

liveforsummer · 12/07/2023 19:10

He can get his own certificates. I don't see why you should hand over your copies if it's you that currently holds them and are the primary carer. I imagine he's planning to get them passports

Chowtime · 12/07/2023 19:10

Let him get his own copy you're not his PA. And apply for passports for them yourself. Today.

Choux · 12/07/2023 19:12

Is your ex named on the certificates?

liveforsummer · 12/07/2023 19:14

I agree it's worth applying for Uk passports now yourself but I imagine given the time scale he's more likely to be wanting to get ones of his home country if that's what he's up to

buckingmad · 12/07/2023 19:15

He can get his own. Get British passports right now and keep them safe.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 19:15

Choux · 12/07/2023 19:12

Is your ex named on the certificates?

Yes. If he is, perhaps he could apply for passport for children in his home country without you knowing

bekindtome · 12/07/2023 19:16

I would get your children uk passports asap. Don't give him the birth certificates he can order his own if he wants them.

Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:16

Yes he is named on the birth certificates, they have his surname.

Oh god I feel sick.

OP posts:
Chowtime · 12/07/2023 19:19

Don't feel sick and don't panic. Forcing him to get his own copies of the birth certificates buy you time, a couple of weeks probably. Start the process tonight of getting their passports - do as much as you can online tonight and then finalise everything tomorrow.

Also worth seeking legal advice. I'm no legal expert but there might be a process you can put in motion to stop him removing the children from this country. Were you married?

Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:20

Is there anything I can do to stop him trying to take the kids?

He's never had them unsupervised for more than a couple of hours, he's never had them over night and there is a police record of domestic violence against me.

I can't let him take my babies

OP posts:
Rtmhwales · 12/07/2023 19:20

What country is he moving to?

stealtheatingtunnocks · 12/07/2023 19:20

Don’t hang about applying for passports and don’t help him. Say you can’t find the certificates if you have to stall him. Store them with a friend/family if possible. Tell any nursery/childcare that only you collect the children and they are not to leave with their dad.

sorry, I think you might have to get some advice from womens aid tomorrow

Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:21

Never married. His family are here at the moment taking him back to Netherlands this week. Won't tell me what date but pressuring me for birth certificates tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:21

I'll call women's aid in the morning. They've helped me in the past in relation to him

OP posts:
xyz111 · 12/07/2023 19:22

Say to him he can request them himself, and then let that be the end of it. If he planning on seeing the kids this week unsupervised?

liveforsummer · 12/07/2023 19:22

Have you asked him outright why he wants them?

Bluebellsbells · 12/07/2023 19:22

They can only have one passport. Get this sorted asap so he doesn't get the chance to and always renue so he can't.

He can obtain birth certificates himself if he wants one.

Chowtime · 12/07/2023 19:23

Why does he need his family to take him back to the netherlands. Why can't he go on his own?

Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:23

He has not asked to see the kids this week, and I will not be allowing them to have him unsupervised.

I have taken a picture of his sisters car as a precaution just so I would have a reg plate incase the worst happened.

I feel so anxious with all of this.

OP posts:
VanWeezer · 12/07/2023 19:24

Apply for the passports for your children now. You can do it on gov.uk. By doing this, he won't be able to obtain British passports for your children as you have already put in an application.

MrsMontyD · 12/07/2023 19:24

Any chance he (or his parents ) wants them to open bank accounts?

lionsleepstonight · 12/07/2023 19:24

I would still get passports sorted, as once they have them, he can't apply. Get them hidden so he cannot find them.

Not sure about him getting passports from his home country which they could then travel on? Hopefully someone comes along who knows.