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Original poster

Ex requesting birth certificates

200 replies

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:05

My ex is leaving the country (UK) to move back to his home country (EU)

He is leaving this week although won't tell me a date. He is pressuring me for copies of the children's birth certificates.

Is there any reason why I should refrain from giving him a copy?

They are 2 and 1 years and don't have passports yet.

I'll give him a copy to keep the peace if there's nothing he could really do with it, but don't want to willingly hand it over if I'm opening myself up for him to try and take the children

Feeling pretty broken so appreciate any replies

OP posts:
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Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:24

@Chowtime he can't drive

I don't know all the ins and outs. He has not told me anything we have very limited contact due to history of dv but I do know his family are here and driving him and his belongings home this week

OP posts:
Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:25

Surely in his home country he couldn't get passports as he'd need them there to get passport photos taken?

Thanks so much for the fast replies I appreciate it, my heads spinning

OP posts:
Oceanus · 12/07/2023 19:26

Don't give them to him. Sorry but don't. If he's French he's allowed to legally apply for French nationality for his kids without your say so. Once it's been granted he can get a French passport which would open doors you don't him to have wide open. You'd be none the wiser and he could IDs and passports etc etc Your kids having a different nationality to yours could potentially make it easier for him to apply to a court in his country for the kids to stay.

Confusion101 · 12/07/2023 19:26

My initial thought was he's going to try claim child benefit for them in his home country.

edgeware · 12/07/2023 19:26

For what it’s worth it’s really not easy to apply for Dutch passports for children. You need a marriage license, council tax bill as welll (from memory).

lionsleepstonight · 12/07/2023 19:26

He could take photos in the UK then take the photo's abroad to support a passport application.

Oceanus · 12/07/2023 19:26

he could get*

Chowtime · 12/07/2023 19:28

There aren't many ferries that go to Holland. Have a look at the Stena Line Harwich/Hook of Holland sailings timetable. I'd bet there's only 2 or 3 sailings a week. That'll tell you something.

Chowtime · 12/07/2023 19:30

Your kids having a different nationality to yours could potentially make it easier for him to apply to a court in his country for the kids to stay.

Oh yeah, never even thought of that. You don't want the kids to have a different nationality to you.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 12/07/2023 19:32

Maybe he just wants something official to take with him to prove he has children. It doesn't mean he's out to abduct them. Maybe he does want to get passports for them from his home country, he's allowed to do that. My DH sorted out second passports for my kids from his country as it was important for him to recognise their heritage. Do you have any reason to believe that he'd try to take them? If not, then stop panicking.

edgeware · 12/07/2023 19:32

I double checked - you can’t apply for a Dutch passport for a child without a signature from both parents. I have done this twice for my children (I am Dutch but live in the UK), you need a ton of documents and their birth certs would have to be legalised first which takes time.

ThePM · 12/07/2023 19:32

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:25

Surely in his home country he couldn't get passports as he'd need them there to get passport photos taken?

Thanks so much for the fast replies I appreciate it, my heads spinning

I’m not sure if this is still the case, but you cannot (used not be able to) be Dutch and have a second citizenship/Passport.

MMBaranova · 12/07/2023 19:33

There are at least three things.

  1. The actual certificates, from initial registration of a birth.
  2. Official ‘copies’ from GRO.
  3. Photocopies of 1 or 2.

Without knowing all of your details, I would consider removing the originals temporarily to a safe place where you cannot be immediately coerced to part with them. Also say ‘aha, you can apply for official copies’ if you consider that to be a wise thing. Or just say no.

Gettingbysomehow · 12/07/2023 19:33

Don't give him anything voluntarily and get them British passports ASAP before he does.

edgeware · 12/07/2023 19:34

You can have dual citizenship if you are Dutch. There are exceptions to the rule, for example if you have parents of differing nationalities. My children have both passports. I am entitled to have both nationalities too as my husband is British.

NeedToBookAGetaway · 12/07/2023 19:35

As others say he can get his own for about a tenner each we did for dsc.
We wanted for opening junior isa. But we could for a passport if wanted. Not that we would

Hopelessacademic · 12/07/2023 19:36

Get them British passports ASAP!
Then to get a Dutch one they'd need to send in the British one.
But if he applies for the Dutch one before they have a British one it's much easier. But I think they'd still need the other parent's consent if they're not present.

My kids have both Dutch and British passports, and when we applied for the Dutch one (before the British) my husband didn't attend the appointment, and I had to show a signed copy of his passport, a letter of consent, and our marriage certificate

MMBaranova · 12/07/2023 19:40

I have ordered certificates for dead ancestors of my other half, not for anything like the situation you face. This link takes you to how to get a certificate. Note that if you scroll down there is a link near the bottom concerning the local register office where the birth was registered.

It isn’t necessarily your responsibility to point out what can be done on a government website.

https://www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate

Order a birth, death, marriage or civil partnership certificate

Order an official birth, adoption, death, marriage or civil partnership certificate from the General Register Office (GRO) if you need a copy or want to research your family tree.

https://www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate

Katrinawaves · 12/07/2023 19:41

You can apply to the court for a prohibited steps order preventing him from taking children abroad without your consent. I believe but am not sure that this would put them on a no-fly list so he would be stopped by immigration if he tried to leave the country with them. It would be worth getting urgent legal advice on this if you are genuinely concerned he is planning to abduct them.

Original poster
gallina · 12/07/2023 19:41

Thank you so much I'm reading through all the advice

I do believe he'd try and take them to hurt me as he is a bully. I'll sort out getting their passports tonight.

I did ask him why he wanted them and he said 'because he thought he had a copy already' I'll never get a straight or truthful answer from him so it's pointless asking

OP posts:
madeleine85 · 12/07/2023 19:42

I'm the second one to say this here, but my sister married a Dutch guy, they both live in another country now and she is a citizen, he is not, as you cannot have a Dutch passport and the passport of another country. Apply for the UK one ASAP if that matters to you, otherwise it could be hard to get.

Oceanus · 12/07/2023 19:42

Men who commit dv don't play fair. If he asked for them but won't say what for assume it's not for a good reason. Hold on to them, don't say no but keep saying you'll do it next week and then the next, till he's gone.

madeleine85 · 12/07/2023 19:44

And as someone who did a UK child's first application recently, it was very easy, all online including photo upload from a phone picture, and took around 2 weeks to get. You could easily send the application today, and notify him that you applied for UK passports. Once he knows that is in process, he theoretically should not apply for Dutch ones as I am guessing they have a statement to swear to saying that there are no other passports.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 19:44

Bluebellsbells · 12/07/2023 19:22

They can only have one passport. Get this sorted asap so he doesn't get the chance to and always renue so he can't.

He can obtain birth certificates himself if he wants one.

Only one UK passport, they could (maybe) be entitled to his home country's passport.

However, when you apply for a baby's first passport you need to get a signature from everyone with parental responsibility, so you can't get them for your kids without him agreeing.

I would say yes you can, however I was just about to get them passports (which we be so handy when I take them to visit you!) and I have to send the original to the passport office - anyway as we're on topic please can you sign this paperwork. I've always wanted to visit France/Germany/Spain wherever, it will be great to take the kids there and they can meet your family too, etc etc. make him think it's a good idea