Ex requesting birth certificates

[gallina]

My ex is leaving the country (UK) to move back to his home country (EU)

He is leaving this week although won't tell me a date. He is pressuring me for copies of the children's birth certificates.

Is there any reason why I should refrain from giving him a copy?

They are 2 and 1 years and don't have passports yet.

I'll give him a copy to keep the peace if there's nothing he could really do with it, but don't want to willingly hand it over if I'm opening myself up for him to try and take the children

Feeling pretty broken so appreciate any replies

Everyday

Signatures faked

He can claim the British passports are lost..... and get new ones

Get legal advice

I'm Irish and had children with a British man. Every single time I needed to get passports it was tricky, as their mother, I had to get an affidavit that there was no court order giving him co parenting rights. Sorry can't remember how it was phrased. But even with their birth certs, it wouldn't be easy to just get them Dutch passports. He'd need to have either your signature in the presence of solicitor/teacher/gp or he'd need to get one of those affidavits of sole guardianship.

If he doesn't know that he can just order their birth certs on line then he probably doesn't know that an unmarried father can't just order passports.

He can get his own. But make sure they have their own passports.

They can hold a Dutch and British passport

The OP can ask for a Port Alert that would detect her DCs being taken through a port or airport and, with a court order, can block the Passport Office from issuing a British passport without her permission. She can aso request the Dutch embassy to block the issue of Dutch passports, although they don't have to comply.

Signatures faked

You need a signed permission form if the other parent is not present, the child needs to be there, as in physically, and you need a copy of the other parents passport to show you didn't fake the whole thing and so they can compare signatures.

I thinkthe copy of the passport and the children being present will block him from getting passports, even if he registers them as living with him. My guess is he is doing this for child benefit only. Money your kids will probably never see though

Non molestation order and prohibitive steps order granted this afternoon.

Uk passports applied for and my solicitor has written to the Dutch embassy requesting a block on any applications for my children.

I think he has left the county already. Ethel police have put out port alerts as a precaution.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to share their advice

Well done @gallina. I hope you sleep really well tonight knowing you have taken all the right steps to protect your children and keep them near you. Just like you protected yourself.

You seem strong and organised - you are going to be a fabulous role model to your kids!

Well done OP, it takes a lot to get organised and put protective steps in place so quickly. You’re doing a great job of looking after your kids.

Could he be trying to claim child benefits from The Dutch or the UK? I know that prior to Brexit (don't know the rules now), Europeans could claim benefits for themselves and their children if their partner lived in the UK. They didn't need to all reside there. Presumably you're not married? There's no way that he could try and claim any benefits for the children could he? I doubt he'd be able to, but you never know, so it might be worth researching online.

Thank you @ANewAdventure @Choux
That really made me smile. It's been an awful time and I thought right I can sit and cry or I can get shit done and thanks to the help here I did it 🙂

@Oioicaptain I'm not sure how it works I already claim child benefit here for them but I'll ask my solicitor about it on Monday.

He hasn't paid any form of maintenance for them since may so I must say I wouldn't be surprised if he did claim and pocket the money.

Right early night tonight for me and my babies, feel like I could sleep for a week !! 😴

All's well that ends well OP and your kids are fortunate to have you. Enjoy the weekend!

I completely agree. Nothing jumps out at me as reason to suspect he is about to abduct the children. There could be a wide range of reasons why he wants copies of the birth certificates.

I also think it's not fair on the children to not let them see their dad based on the OPs anxiety.

Schools cannot stop someone with PR from collecting their child unless there is a prohibited steps order in place. Schools don't like to get involved with this sort of thing and I think OPs kids are too young and not at school yet.

@KentuckyFriedChicken83
Luckily the judge didn't share your point of view 🙂

I've just read the thread, well done OP for getting everything sorted. Sleep well tonight.

@KentuckyFriedChicken83 @MrTiddlesTheCat
Have you read the whole thread? The OP was the victim of DV at the hands of this guy, doesn't that validate her feelings and anxiety? They seem pretty valid from where I'm standing.

I can only comment on what was shared on here and nothing suggested he was trying to abduct the children.

However, the judge will have had access to more evidence but I assume it was an ex parte application with it being heard so fast? Which means the other side won't have had the opportunity to put his argument forward. As far as I understand, there has to be another hearing that he has to attend to hear the case properly? That's usually what happens on urgent/emergency applications.

Absolutely it does, I was just trying to look at it objectively as there was nothing shared that indicated that was his plan (to take the kids).

The only reason I said about it being unfair for the children to not see their dad was based on what a judge once said to me, that unless the father has harmed the children or is at risk of harming them, contact will always take place in some form.

The OP never said anything about stopping him from seeing the kids and alienating him. On the contrary, he "strangled" her yet she's continued to facilitate contact via phone. In fact it sounded as though she took the kids to see him.
I think the possibility of him taking the kids would always exist. Whether probable or not it's down to her to assess the risk and decide. I see nothing wrong in making sure that door's firmly closed. People do the craziest things, hitting a pregnant woman is nothing short of despicable and pretty low as it is.

@Oceanus I never used the word 'alienate' as there is no evidence the OP has done that. I was referring to her not allowing him to see the children unsupervised. However, I can understand her concerns.

I agree with you, it is despicable and low. I don't think any violent person should ever be able to see their kids again but our justice system likes to facilitate contact with the worst of criminals.

So pleased you're getting things in place. Tough time for you.