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Original poster

Ex requesting birth certificates

200 replies

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:05

My ex is leaving the country (UK) to move back to his home country (EU)

He is leaving this week although won't tell me a date. He is pressuring me for copies of the children's birth certificates.

Is there any reason why I should refrain from giving him a copy?

They are 2 and 1 years and don't have passports yet.

I'll give him a copy to keep the peace if there's nothing he could really do with it, but don't want to willingly hand it over if I'm opening myself up for him to try and take the children

Feeling pretty broken so appreciate any replies

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Mercury2702 · 12/07/2023 20:37

R.e posters saying the father gets contacted when applying for passport, they don’t. Me and my sons dad are separated and all I needed were his dads name and date of birth and birth location. They ask you to give as much info as you know.

he wasn’t contacted and a few years ago he wasn’t even aware our son had a passport despite me telling him years earlier, he didn’t have to sign anything to approve it

Choux · 12/07/2023 20:38

Air tags - I have been on a train and got a message on my phone 'an air tag is now travelling with you'. Someone in the train must have had an AirTag and it was letting me know in case someone had planted it to follow me.

Oceanus · 12/07/2023 20:38

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 20:33

@FuckYouDailyMail nice v user name!
Can you explain what you mean by anti stalking measures? What happens/how would he know?

Agree, it's a lovely name indeed! haha!
I think iphones let the user know there's an airtag in the vicinity if it's been around for a while but with Android mobiles that's not the case. You need to get an App and see if it picks up something so you have to be proactive or you're none the wiser.

Azandme · 12/07/2023 20:39

misslooloo · 12/07/2023 19:49

There are daily sailings from North Shields to Amsterdam.

Show quote history

And daily sailings from Hull to Rotterdam.

Bluebellsbells · 12/07/2023 20:40

Air tags are a brilliant idea. And you can get a passport without his signature. I did! Make sure you at least cover the UK side of passports.

caringcarer · 12/07/2023 20:40

bekindtome · 12/07/2023 19:16

I would get your children uk passports asap. Don't give him the birth certificates he can order his own if he wants them.

This. Apply for passports for your babies immediately.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 12/07/2023 20:44

No reason he can't apply for fast track UK passports if he has the birth certs. Even as a Dutch citizen. Yes he'd need your signature but what's to stop him faking it.

Apply asap if funds allow as it will stop a duplicate application. You can do a digital application online or via a nominated Post Office (digital or paper). They will take the pics for you if they do the digital service.

Morning189t2 · 12/07/2023 20:46

burntshortbread · 12/07/2023 20:19

Online passport applications are quick and easy, but you need proper passport quality photographs, signed by an appropriate person.
In your shoes I would pack up and go for a nice break with a friend or family member, turn off your phone and sort out your children's passports while you are there.
Is there somewhere you can go and stay that is a fairly long distance away.
Do you have documentation/proof of domestic violence? If so, contact the police and tell them there is a risk he will try to take the children.

No you don't... you can do it all online including having someone confirm the photo is right

Hollyppp · 12/07/2023 20:48

Get your children their own passports (U.K.) yourself and then you have the passports!

Hollyppp · 12/07/2023 20:49

I would guess he’s definitely asking for birth certificates to apply for passports himself

liveforsummer · 12/07/2023 20:49

No you don't... you can do it all online including having someone confirm the photo is right

This - I hair took pictures on my phone. They aren't as fussy with young kids either

Brumbies · 12/07/2023 20:54

Can you go somewhere with the children that your ex would not know where to find you? Until he's left?

saraclara · 12/07/2023 20:56

Why is everyone going on about the ferry and so on? The kids don't have passports so he can't take them with him this week.

RandomMess · 12/07/2023 20:58

Sounds like you need to get a prohibitive steps order as you believe they are an abduction risk.

Flowers
Dartsplayer · 12/07/2023 20:58

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:20

Is there anything I can do to stop him trying to take the kids?

He's never had them unsupervised for more than a couple of hours, he's never had them over night and there is a police record of domestic violence against me.

I can't let him take my babies

Apply to Court for an Emergency Prohibited Steps Order tonight to stop him from leaving the country with the kids. You can complete the forms online tonight

suitcasecoveredincathair · 12/07/2023 21:06

A lot of supposition and misinformation in this thread.

I will only state the things of which I have recent personal knowledge and experience (which doesn’t mean that other issues are not true or not important, but these are the things I know to be true in the past twelve months)

I am Dutch. You can be Dutch and have another nationality and passport as well. I do, and my DC do. Two passports. It’s allowed.

To apply for a Dutch passport for a child, the child must have the Dutch nationality (obviously). The child and at least one parent must attend the application appointment in person. If both parents are not present, the application must include written permission from the absent parent along with a copy of their current passport.

I’m sorry you’re in such a stressful situation OP. If you want more information on the current Dutch processes I’ll be happy to look them up/translate them for you, and I’m sure other Dutch speaker here would be too. With any luck you will never need any of this information.

Underthebell · 12/07/2023 21:07

easilydistracted1 · 12/07/2023 20:09

Without wanting to be too dramatic, is there anything stopping you having an impromptu break away with them? Tell him sorry you're not sure where they are and head off with the children. Apply for the passports and get legal advice. Not worth the risk

This is absolutely what I would do if I thought there was an imminent 5 threat of the ex taking the children.

Sunnydaysarentagiveneveninjuly · 12/07/2023 21:15

Just to add to all the good advice I can't imagine he will do very well getting approved passport pics easily given the ages of your dc!! 2 toddlers and the forms plus pics will be an absolute nightmare! You are not obliged to give him the birth certificates though.
You can flag up concerns with airports I believe.. Asking a solicitor in a free appointment can't hurt..

Melroses · 12/07/2023 21:29

If he is just wanting a photocopy of the BCs, I would go with it. He needs proper copies from the registry office to do anything with them.

Thunderingwankgoblet · 12/07/2023 21:35

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:20

Is there anything I can do to stop him trying to take the kids?

He's never had them unsupervised for more than a couple of hours, he's never had them over night and there is a police record of domestic violence against me.

I can't let him take my babies

Haven’t rtft but yes you can get a prohibited steps order if you think he might try to remove them from the country without your permission or knowledge. I’m not sure what the requirements are for that but it’s possible.

Flossflower · 12/07/2023 21:44

Just say you can’t find them. Tell him he can get his own copies.

sanluca · 12/07/2023 21:45

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:25

Surely in his home country he couldn't get passports as he'd need them there to get passport photos taken?

Thanks so much for the fast replies I appreciate it, my heads spinning

Hi, in the Netherlands here. Dutch law won't give him passports, both parents have to sign the application.

What he probably wants to do and can, is use the birth certificates to register the children for the Dutch nationality. He can do this as he is on the birth certificate. But that is as far as it can go.

sanluca · 12/07/2023 21:47

Oh and when travelling with children you often have to show a signed document that you are allowed to travel without the other parent present, including a copy of the other parents passport. Even my DH had to show this and my DD was 16 at the time!

thisisasurvivor · 12/07/2023 21:49

gallina · 12/07/2023 19:21

Never married. His family are here at the moment taking him back to Netherlands this week. Won't tell me what date but pressuring me for birth certificates tomorrow.

Ok been there

So don't respond

Let him get them himself

He sounds clueless

He can't take the kids
I don't know how he will get passports ??
Apply for the passports asap

Follow the advice here lots of wise ladies helped me xxxxxxxxx