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Original poster

Please help - husband has had a psychotic breakdown

193 replies

Terrifiedforthefuture · 02/07/2023 17:57

I’ve namechanged for this as I don’t want it linked to my other posts.

My husband is in hospital after suffering from a psychotic breakdown. He has had problems with alcohol and cocaine on and off for as long as I remember. His behaviour this weekend has been aggressive, paranoid and delusional. He made a completely false and dangerous allegation about me and told his family and mine that it was true. I made him leave the house yesterday and he continued to berate me with aggressive messages so I blocked his number.

The police came to my house this afternoon to do a welfare check on me and the children. They said he had been found in an area about 3 miles from our home (of which he has no known connections) and concerned residents had reported it. Police say he was extremely paranoid and delusional and they were very concerned for his well-being. They brought him to a&e for a mental health assessment. They asked if I wanted to see him and I said I was unsure, they said as he had been aggressive towards me all weekend and was still extremely paranoid maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to see him right now in case he lashes out at me.

I have contacted his siblings who are all down at the hospital with him now while I am home with our two very young children, one with SN.

I don’t know why I am posting or what I am hoping to get from it but I am terrified and really need a handhold.

OP posts:
Panteranoir · 02/07/2023 18:01

Is this the first time this has happened OP? I have close family member who had a psychotic episode and it is frightening and confusing and overwhelming.

Original poster
Terrifiedforthefuture · 02/07/2023 18:03

This is the first time yes. He is in a&e now being assessed by the mental health team, the police told me it’s likely he will need sectioned. Can you please tell me what’s next, what to expect from the process? I am so frightened for my future and my kids futures

OP posts:
SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:05

Well if he isn't sectioned I guess he will be discharged

Can he go stay with a sibling? You maybe need to get some sort of injunction so he stays away from you all for now

853ax · 02/07/2023 18:07

He is in best place hope they keep him few weeks to get on right path.
I know of someone who had psychotic breakdown over 10 years ago they are doing well still with family but was a tough few years.
Do what you comfortable with i don't see any urgent need for you to get to hospital. From what I remember couple I knew hospital would not discuss plan/treatments ECT with partner.
Hope you have someone to have cup tea with

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:27

You need to do whatever it takes to keep him away from you and your children, and you should file for divorce immediately. You cannot help him, and he will only drag you down with him.

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

Beezknees · 02/07/2023 18:33

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

Did you miss the part where he takes cocaine? He shouldn't be around the children if he's abusing drugs.

Jusmakingit · 02/07/2023 18:37

If he is sectioned he will be in hospital until they can secure a place in a mental health hospital. I would recommend reading up on different sections to know the process. Usually he will be assessed by psychiatrists , mental health nurses and a range of doctors whilst in the mental health facility. He will have meetings to discuss the underlying issues causing his breakdown , how he can be supported , most likely medicated . They will likely contact yourself to get more understanding of his background , relationships, family , job etc to build his life picture. depending on his section he will have escorted or unescorted leave from the grounds of the hospital . Usually to begin with itl be escorted with a member of the staff. Depending his risk to himself and or others will also be a factor. He could be there for days or weeks. They will want to know about the living situation and if you feel safe living with him. He will get support once he is discharged but that’s the main thing, it’s consistency on his part to stick to appointments, medication etc . It may be a long road depending what there assessment brings up and his level of mental health problems.

I have worked in a mental health hospital and I am also a mental health nurse

RampantIvy · 02/07/2023 18:38

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

Did you miss the part where the OP said he abuses class A drugs and alcohol?

She is better off without him.

Jusmakingit · 02/07/2023 18:39

It’s extremely common to find adults with mental health problems, especially men to use a form coping mechanism . This usually is recreation drugs, drinking, gambling … forms of addiction.

Beezknees · 02/07/2023 18:40

Jusmakingit · 02/07/2023 18:39

It’s extremely common to find adults with mental health problems, especially men to use a form coping mechanism . This usually is recreation drugs, drinking, gambling … forms of addiction.

It's not OP's job to fix him though. If he's a danger to the children, they need to come first.

Thelnebriati · 02/07/2023 18:41

Terrifiedforthefuture Its really important that when the hospital contact you, you don't minimise how bad he has been at his worst, or that you are afraid of him. It will be stressful, so it might help if you write a list.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:41

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

He's a coke head and an alcoholic. What do you not understand about that? He needs to go, immediately.

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 02/07/2023 18:42

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:27

You need to do whatever it takes to keep him away from you and your children, and you should file for divorce immediately. You cannot help him, and he will only drag you down with him.

Fuck me.

People with mental health illnesses are unwell. Very unwell. They need support and they need sympathy, medication and therapy to get better.
Ever heard of self medication? Lots of people with mental illnesses do it. Me included. I have debilitating and chronic mental health illness.

I need support- not for the closest people to me to run away because “ I will drag them down “
You clearly don’t understand that.
Jeez 🙄

Jusmakingit · 02/07/2023 18:43

Beezknees · 02/07/2023 18:40

It's not OP's job to fix him though. If he's a danger to the children, they need to come first.

Show quote history

I don’t recall my post saying she is expected to fix him. The doctors will ask the question about her position in this and if she wants to support him or not. They can arrange supported living etc for him if OP doesn’t want him living at home.

i agree it shouldn’t fall to her, and it won’t but her children need to be kept safe and I’m sure as a mum she is well aware of that and will make her decisions when it comes to that

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:46

Yeah I read about the drink/drugs

Hence me saying could he stay with a sibling and to take out an injunction.....did you miss that bit in your haste to trip over yourself to give out your judgemental 'advice'?

airmaxJ · 02/07/2023 18:47

Is it likely that hae will take cocaine whe he gets out as this can make the person dangerous to themselves and others

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:47

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 02/07/2023 18:42

Fuck me.

People with mental health illnesses are unwell. Very unwell. They need support and they need sympathy, medication and therapy to get better.
Ever heard of self medication? Lots of people with mental illnesses do it. Me included. I have debilitating and chronic mental health illness.

I need support- not for the closest people to me to run away because “ I will drag them down “
You clearly don’t understand that.
Jeez 🙄

Show quote history

I understand perfectly well, thank you. I understand, seemingly you do not, that you cannot allow children to live in a home with an alcoholic and a cocaine addict who is actively using.

The op's husband doesn't just need medication. He is a drug addict. He needs detox and rehab which is a very lengthy process which usually fails multiple times before someone finally gets sober. I wish the man all the best, but not at the expense of his children's wellbeing.

RudsyFarmer · 02/07/2023 18:48

Would social services allow him to return to the house without any addition safeguarding? I don’t know how this works but I too would be very concerned if he’s paranoid and delusional. My kids would always take precedence over my partner.

SquirrelSoShiny · 02/07/2023 18:48

Just offering a handhold OP. I'm sure it has been a massive shock but hopefully this is his rock bottom moment.

SparklingMarkling · 02/07/2023 18:50

@SatOnBeckysHill

No fault of his own? Well technically that’s not true is it? A cocaine induced psychosis is self inflicted. A lot of nurses are sick of dealing with people who take psycho active drugs and end up in hospital. Usually men. Whilst women who have psychosis due to trauma inflicted by men don’t get the beds……

Jusmakingit · 02/07/2023 18:51

RudsyFarmer · 02/07/2023 18:48

Would social services allow him to return to the house without any addition safeguarding? I don’t know how this works but I too would be very concerned if he’s paranoid and delusional. My kids would always take precedence over my partner.

they 1,000% wouldn’t 🙏 there would be a lot of services involved to ensure it would be safe for the children and everyone else. In most cases once a person has had extensive treatment in a mental health facility there is an extensive discharge process with social workers, mental health workers, psychiatrists, doctors …. A lot of people are involved in these decisions and nothing is missed or overlooked

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:52

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:46

Yeah I read about the drink/drugs

Hence me saying could he stay with a sibling and to take out an injunction.....did you miss that bit in your haste to trip over yourself to give out your judgemental 'advice'?

Right, your advice is to ship him off to another family member so they can bear the burden of his paranoia, psychosis and drug addiction. Well done, that's brilliant advice. 🙄

Scottishskifun · 02/07/2023 18:52

First and foremost you don't have to do anything that your not comfortable with doing.
The fact the police came to do a welfare check on you and your children is probably indicative of some things he was saying. Under those circumstances I would think long and hard and speak to his Dr's about what is best once he has been stabilised.
Take it slowly and listen to his Dr's and yourself. Do not feel pressurised into accepting things your not comfortable with and it might be a very long road for all of you regardless. At this point though just hope they can section him and get him stable.

SparklingMarkling · 02/07/2023 18:53

@Aquamarine1029

spot on. He needs rehab. Just another Coke induced psychotic male taking up a gold dust inpatient bed whilst others have to have their care in the community (code for lack of care) and usually female.

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