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Original poster

Please help - husband has had a psychotic breakdown

193 replies

Terrifiedforthefuture · 02/07/2023 17:57

I’ve namechanged for this as I don’t want it linked to my other posts.

My husband is in hospital after suffering from a psychotic breakdown. He has had problems with alcohol and cocaine on and off for as long as I remember. His behaviour this weekend has been aggressive, paranoid and delusional. He made a completely false and dangerous allegation about me and told his family and mine that it was true. I made him leave the house yesterday and he continued to berate me with aggressive messages so I blocked his number.

The police came to my house this afternoon to do a welfare check on me and the children. They said he had been found in an area about 3 miles from our home (of which he has no known connections) and concerned residents had reported it. Police say he was extremely paranoid and delusional and they were very concerned for his well-being. They brought him to a&e for a mental health assessment. They asked if I wanted to see him and I said I was unsure, they said as he had been aggressive towards me all weekend and was still extremely paranoid maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to see him right now in case he lashes out at me.

I have contacted his siblings who are all down at the hospital with him now while I am home with our two very young children, one with SN.

I don’t know why I am posting or what I am hoping to get from it but I am terrified and really need a handhold.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/07/2023 18:54

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 02/07/2023 18:42

Fuck me.

People with mental health illnesses are unwell. Very unwell. They need support and they need sympathy, medication and therapy to get better.
Ever heard of self medication? Lots of people with mental illnesses do it. Me included. I have debilitating and chronic mental health illness.

I need support- not for the closest people to me to run away because “ I will drag them down “
You clearly don’t understand that.
Jeez 🙄

Show quote history

I'd hope that if you were being aggressive, your family members would put their safety first and then provide support if they feel able from their place of safety.

This applies to everybody, male or female. The fundamental is safety; the whole reason for sections in the first place - safety for the patient and for others.

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:57

@Aquamarine1029 they are likely to care what happens to him

Guessing he doesn't have the funds to check himself into rehab either

So what's YOUR advice?? Live on the streets??

staybyyou · 02/07/2023 18:59

I've had this happen to a close family member recently, feel free to pm me and I can try and answer any questions op.

baggiesmalls · 02/07/2023 19:00

The problem is that if he is abusing drugs and alcohol in my experience (professionally) the mh team will blame that and tell him to get clean before they treat .

He will have been 136 by police - the on call psychiatrist will assess and see if he needs to be on a section . They have 72 hours to hold him for assessment.

PurpleFlower1983 · 02/07/2023 19:01

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

He’s battled alcohol and cocaine addiction for a long time, did you miss that part? It’s not just a random episode, it’s likely linked in some part of substance abuse.

Els1e · 02/07/2023 19:01

@@SatOnBeckysHill and what’s your advice? OP needs to put her needs first. Then work out what they can do to support others.

Onceacheetah · 02/07/2023 19:02

Just look after yourself and the kids. It's entirely up to him if he wants to get clean and live with ye.

Justcallmebebes · 02/07/2023 19:02

Beezknees · 02/07/2023 18:33

Did you miss the part where he takes cocaine? He shouldn't be around the children if he's abusing drugs.

Show quote history

I was about to say exactly the same. My SDad had 2 x psychotic episodes after my mum died and he was sectioned. it was really scary but he doesn't do drugs or abuse alcohol

If the psychosis is a result of drug use then I have little sympathy, especially if he has a wife and kids

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 19:04

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:57

@Aquamarine1029 they are likely to care what happens to him

Guessing he doesn't have the funds to check himself into rehab either

So what's YOUR advice?? Live on the streets??

Calm down, FFS.

My only concern right now is for the safety of the op and her children. End of discussion. If her husband refuses treatment, refuses to stop using drugs, and ends up on the street due to his decision to use coke, so be it. Whether he's mentally ill and self-medicating is a moot point right now. He's paranoid, he's psychotic, and he's dangerous. The primary concern for the op should be her children's safety and stability.

GCalltheway · 02/07/2023 19:04

Focus on the children op, keeping routines and calm in the house.
Let his family take care of the process in the hospital.
He can’t be around your children - especially with psychosis. Cross the bridge when you get to it.
Depending on his diagnosis - take it from there.
Certain drugs can cause paranoia and psychotic episodes, so be prepared also that it might be a case of waiting until the drugs wear off, he shouldn’t come back if that is the case.

QueensBees · 02/07/2023 19:05

@Terrifiedforthefuture I’m really sorry about the way this thread has gone.
I imagine you are not finding it helpful at all 😢

If he is sectioned, he will have no choice but to stay as an in patient until they feel he is safe in the community.
Youll be able to have some information on how he is doing and what’s going on.
You might be able to visit him - or maybe not. It will depend on how he is doing.
The length of his stay will depend on how he is doing.
But from what you are describing, this is the best place for him just now. (And unlike some PP, I don’t think detox is the right place fir someone who is having a psychotic episode…).

After that, I’d keep the communication going with his family. Seeing how he was and how angry/threatening he was towards you, you need to first protect yourself and the dcs.

GCalltheway · 02/07/2023 19:06

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:57

@Aquamarine1029 they are likely to care what happens to him

Guessing he doesn't have the funds to check himself into rehab either

So what's YOUR advice?? Live on the streets??

Living with a family member would be better or a b&b, yes.

CourtneyB123 · 02/07/2023 19:07

If he's having an assessment and he's been having what they deem psychosis, chances are they'll get him a mental health bed until he can be transported to an adults ward/psychiatric hospital. You can support him from afar if that's something you still want to do, perhaps use this as an opportunity to figure out what you want to do for you and the kids. But I think it's important to know if he is being sectioned what that entails, if he goes in as an informal patient then he will be granted home leave at some stage so this is food for thought. Hope you're okay, it sounds like a really difficult time for you

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 02/07/2023 19:08

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/07/2023 18:54

I'd hope that if you were being aggressive, your family members would put their safety first and then provide support if they feel able from their place of safety.

This applies to everybody, male or female. The fundamental is safety; the whole reason for sections in the first place - safety for the patient and for others.

Show quote history

Agree but the tone of the wording was off. Of course safety is paramount. But the person needs support . Lots of things in order to get better and that’s not to say it need be long term- just a short time away from the family whilst recovering. Not what PP said to leave etc for good. That’s shit.

Hintofreality · 02/07/2023 19:11

They won’t section an addict or someone who is under the influence of drugs / alcohol.

Boxofsockss · 02/07/2023 19:11

they may section him if he does not agree to remain informally. If he has had no past history of mental illness or using services and is sectioned, he’s likely to be put on a section 2 which is an assessment section lasting 28 days and allows the treating clinicians to start him on medication if that is required etc and see how he responds. He can be discharged at anytime by his responsible clinician and he also has the right to apply for a tribunal in the first 14 days of sectioning if he does not agree.
if the RC feels he needs further treatment they can assess him for a section 3 which is a treatment section. Hopefully a small period of stability might be just what he needs

Mumtothreegirlies · 02/07/2023 19:12

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 02/07/2023 18:42

Fuck me.

People with mental health illnesses are unwell. Very unwell. They need support and they need sympathy, medication and therapy to get better.
Ever heard of self medication? Lots of people with mental illnesses do it. Me included. I have debilitating and chronic mental health illness.

I need support- not for the closest people to me to run away because “ I will drag them down “
You clearly don’t understand that.
Jeez 🙄

Show quote history

Chicken and egg situation. Most of the people we had in the clinic I worked in became psychotic due to long term use of cocaine.
seeing as they’ve done a welfare check, I don’t think it’s a good idea for OP to be welcoming him back just yet as she might end up having her children taken in to care.

Thistlelass · 02/07/2023 19:14

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 18:27

You need to do whatever it takes to keep him away from you and your children, and you should file for divorce immediately. You cannot help him, and he will only drag you down with him.

I cannot believe your blatant discriminatory attitude towards someone who is currently very seriously unwell.

Original poster
Terrifiedforthefuture · 02/07/2023 19:17

Thank you all for your input. I have been in close contact with his family. He has a head injury that he can’t account for and is being sent for a ct scan now. He’s calm but still very paranoid. He asked to see me but his family have told him no. Hospital have said he will be in for the next few days at least, his brother just came to collect a bag for him.

I have spoken to his parents and have told them that I can’t have him back home, they are 100% supportive and have said he can move back in with them, that they will sort all this and just for me to focus on myself and the kids.

The police did not mention anything about a referral to children’s services, is this likely in this scenario? Not that I am concerned about that, I’d just like to know if I’m likely to expect a social worker to contact me in the following days.

I just cannot believe the turn my life has taken.

OP posts:
SparklingMarkling · 02/07/2023 19:17

@Thistlelass

Unwell due to his substance abuse. If I took a shit load of LSD tonight along with cocaine would it really be a surprise if I started to act a little bit odd? There are people out there having periods of psychosis due to severe trauma such as childhood sexual abuse and they cannot get the help they need due to too many drug induced admissions blocking up beds. It’s a real issue.

im not saying there isn’t a link between substance abuse and mental health but it is still a choice. Many, many people have poor mental health. They still choose not to abuse cocaine.

neilyoungismyhero · 02/07/2023 19:18

SatOnBeckysHill · 02/07/2023 18:31

@Aquamarine1029 yeah kick a man when he's down eh? He's ill. No fault of his own....mental illness

Would you say that to a man whose wife was suffering the same?

He chose to take alcohol and cocaine over a number of years - the result being this episode...

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2023 19:20

Thistlelass · 02/07/2023 19:14

I cannot believe your blatant discriminatory attitude towards someone who is currently very seriously unwell.

Show quote history

I couldn't care less what you believe. I'm concerned that the op is going to allow a man with a long history of drug and alcohol addiction, who is paranoid and psychotic, to return to her home where her children live.

FoodFann · 02/07/2023 19:22

@Aquamarine1029 spot on.

@Terrifiedforthefuture I’m so sorry for you and the kids in this awful situation. You don’t happen upon Cocaine - he’s actively chosen a path of destruction. The truth is hard to hear, OP. Don’t make any excuses for him.

He’s a danger if he’s in your life. You’re safest when he’s absent. Don’t let him terrify you any longer. Take control, and start afresh. He cannot feature in your future, or he will continue to terrify you forever more. Start divorce proceedings ASAP. He’s not ‘ill’, he’s self-destructive and he’s destroying you and your kids along with it.

saraclara · 02/07/2023 19:24

His family sound wonderful. I'm very relieved that they're supportive of you and focused on keeping you and the children safe.

I hope that his parents get support if they take him in. It's going to be hard for them.

Random789 · 02/07/2023 19:25

Sorry the thread is being so stupidly derailed by several posters, op.

It is early days for himright now and so much is uncertain, but in very many cases anti-psychotic medication is extremely helpful quite quickly. At the very best, he will improve rapidly and not have subsequent episodes. But another possibility is that he continues to be vulnerable to repeated episodes. Regardless of whether the drugs/alcohol played a part in causing the psychosis, it will be very important for him not to abuse them again.

It sounds like it would be surprising if they didn't section him. But you never know. Do make it clear to all involved that he can't be at home right now. I think that would be helpful to him, as well as being necessary for you and the children, because it will help to ensure that a bed is made available.

If he is hospitalised, that is an opportunity for you to take a breath, look after yourself,and recover a little bit from the shock of it all. It takes time to begin adjust to this. Right now, don't expect yourself to be able to think beyond today and tomorrow.