Was I wrong to bake a cake?

[KittensBeheadingPeonies]

DH and I have been on a diet (low-ish carb and limited calories) for a week and I think he’s gone insane. I’ve been very disciplined so far, DH on the other hand has been struggling and ended up eating more than he wanted on probably 4 out of 8 days. I need to lose a lot more weight than him, though, so fine for him to be a little more relaxed, IMO.

Last night I baked a (large) low-carb cheesecake. The ingredients had already been sitting in the fridge for two weeks (didn’t get round to baking the last time I had planned to) and I fancied cheesecake. DH told me he didn’t want any of my ’stupid cake' and to give it to my parents who have come up to the city for the weekend (but aren’t staying with us). Fine with me, whatever, this was kind of the plan anyways. This morning he proceeds to eat four slices of the very nice indeed cheesecake and now he’s mad at me for tempting him. He was also really annoyed that I hadn’t eaten any as yet (was planning to have some later with my parents). He’s just gone into the kitchen, cut a massive slice of cake, decorated it with berries, put it on my desk in front of me and said ’See, this is what it’s like having it right in front of your nose, let’s see if you can resist now.’ Then stormed out. Is this completely unhinged behaviour or does he have a point and I shouldn’t have baked it in the first place?

PS. I’m not the greedy husband troll (my DH is normally more sensible than me!) and English isn’t my first language before anyone jumps on my SPAG.

One of life’s lessons, it it never ever wrong to bake a cake.

DH has been ridiculous. He is responsible for what he eats. Although I think you’ve been unsupportive. It’s a but like mixing up a cocktail and leaving it in the fridge if your DH is a newly recovering alcoholic.

He sounds ridiculous 😂

please share recipe though

The recipe sounds great! Thanks for posting it.,

I do think if you’re both on a diet then baking a huge cheesecake is temptation as surely bring married to him you already know what his temptation levels are like eg bad.

That said his behaviour and throwing a strop especially as you’ve said it was for relatives too is OTT by him.

I don’t think it’s a LTB situation but I’d expect his behaviour to change a bit and maybe a slight apology for going off at you.

I'd be furious if I'd baked a cake to share with my parents and DH decided to have four slices for breakfast. There is nothing wrong with a sociable slice of cake while on a diet.

It does indicate that you and DH are on different pages with this diet. You need to talk. Are you on a starve yourself diet to lose weight quick? Or a change habits and eat healthier diet, where weight loss will be slow and steady?

He is obviously struggling and needs to sit down and contemplate what his goal is and how he intends to get there. The two of you don't have to agree to the same plan.

I eat a good diet. I can easily resist the temptation to buy unhealthy snacks, such as cake, biscuits, and crisps. Where I lack discipline/willpower is the ability to ration treats and make them last.

Hence if I were to buy a pack of biscuits I cannot simply eat just one or two and save the rest for another day. I have to eat the whole pack within an hour or two.

For this reason, I don't keep these sorts of things in the house. So despite people saying your husband is a grown-up and should have willpower, it's not always as simple as that. This is why so many people overindulge and cannot lose weight.

Where do you get brick cream cheese in the UK?

<misses point>

I think he is just going round the bend from the carb cravings. just laugh at him and ignore

I don't he's being ridiculous. I think cooking a cake a week into a diet is cruel and unsupportive. There's a period of re adjustment while the body gets used to the new reduced rations.

The urge to eat that cake to combat the "famine" that the body thinks it is experiencing comes from a deep and ancient place. The way people are batting that away as if it was nothing have obviously never experienced that particular battle in the same way.

Commenters here saying youre unreasonable are crazy. Do what you want, make what you want. Your parents are in town, you made a cake. Just because youre on a diet doesnt mean you have to follow it every minute of every day. Thats why/ how oeopke fail. You are not responsible for another adult's lack of self control

Absolutely this, what were you thinking OP?

My partner used to do this all the time years ago, bring home pizza and crisps and things I liked and say 'well you dont have to eat it'

No I didnt have to eat it and if I did eat it it would be my choice and responsiblity but if you have uncontrollable cravings (which I used to have prior to discovering low carb), its impossible to leave that stuff alone so I dont want it in the house or if its in the house, it goes out the back where I cant see it or know about it.

Its like living with an acholic and having a load of shots lined up on the side or making cocktails and saying 'well you dont have to drink them'

Would you do that?

DH and I are both on diets and I’d have been pretty annoyed at him for doing that. But neither one would have done that or come home with anything similar.

If we were going off diet we either do it away from each other or discuss if we want to do a special meal and how to keep it as one meal

I agree if it was the other way around people would be saying that the bloke was sabotaging your efforts and trying to keep you fat.

Yes he should have self control but you should be supporting each other so he shouldn’t need it so much at home.

If he was being strict, on low carb, his appetite would have reduced and he wouldn't be shoving half a cheesecake in his gob. That's basically the whole point of low carb, it stops you craving things like this.

Either he's just not doing it right, which is his issue. Or he's addicted to overeating and needs some professional help, which is his issue.

All the tantrums in the world won't fix it for him. Although I have to say if I fast, my DH has a habit of mithering on for hours about food. I think it's a 'don't mention elephants' thing but it drives me spare.

it is low carb cake - so why is it an issue? He sounds mean.

There is nothing wrong with a low carb cake on a low carb way of eating. Hint is in the name - it's specifically made to be fine to eat even though you're being careful.

He's angry at himself for not showing a bit of restraint, that's all.

He’s a nut case. What a weirdo, he is responsible for what he puts in his mouth?

His reaction was over the top - and he definitely needs to work on his self control - but I do think it’s odd to bake a cake when you are only one week into a diet that you both agreed to do.

I expect he walks past the shops and cafes, but harder in your own home?

Not very helpful PP, but he was OTT.

why is everyone telling you off for baking a cake - you said it is low carb so he can eat it if doing low carb diet?

Low carb AND restricted calories. Having a large cake around isn’t going to help anyone with calorie control!

Because of lack of portion control?

Battle?

He had 4 slices of cake for breakfast, it's not the bloody Somme.

Oh I hadn't noticed the limited calorie thing.
@KittensBeheadingPeonies when you're low carbing you really don't need to count calories as it's a) not necessary and b) often counterproductive.

Unhinged dickhead.

For example, he is probably struggling because his fat intake is far too low because you're counting calories. Won't work.