Was I wrong to bake a cake?

[KittensBeheadingPeonies]

DH and I have been on a diet (low-ish carb and limited calories) for a week and I think he’s gone insane. I’ve been very disciplined so far, DH on the other hand has been struggling and ended up eating more than he wanted on probably 4 out of 8 days. I need to lose a lot more weight than him, though, so fine for him to be a little more relaxed, IMO.

Last night I baked a (large) low-carb cheesecake. The ingredients had already been sitting in the fridge for two weeks (didn’t get round to baking the last time I had planned to) and I fancied cheesecake. DH told me he didn’t want any of my ’stupid cake' and to give it to my parents who have come up to the city for the weekend (but aren’t staying with us). Fine with me, whatever, this was kind of the plan anyways. This morning he proceeds to eat four slices of the very nice indeed cheesecake and now he’s mad at me for tempting him. He was also really annoyed that I hadn’t eaten any as yet (was planning to have some later with my parents). He’s just gone into the kitchen, cut a massive slice of cake, decorated it with berries, put it on my desk in front of me and said ’See, this is what it’s like having it right in front of your nose, let’s see if you can resist now.’ Then stormed out. Is this completely unhinged behaviour or does he have a point and I shouldn’t have baked it in the first place?

PS. I’m not the greedy husband troll (my DH is normally more sensible than me!) and English isn’t my first language before anyone jumps on my SPAG.

“Stupid cake”. Are you married to a 7 year old?

He’s being an arse.

one thing to ask you not to bake it if he knows he has op self control. But trying to them temp you and and acting to oddly about it is a bit unhinged.

You both have a point.

When you are trying to go on a diet/restrict some foods and someone puts said tempting food in front if you, it’s crap. Yes he should have some self restrain but knowing he isn’t good at it, it’s a bit alike deliberately putting alcohol in front if someone who is trying to stop. Not nice or fair.

On the other side, you seem to have more self restrain (maybe because actually said cheese cake isn’t what would really tempt you anyway?) and yes ingredients needed using blablabla.

Tbh, as you are both trying to loose weight, I’d go with no cake at all and no
tempting foods around the house. It’ll help you both.

And btw, no need to tell us your DH wasn’t as good as portion control or whatever during those first two weeks.
There should be no judgement on how he is handling his weight loss, just like there should be no judge e t as why you are the one who needs to loose more weight.

Then you have no direct experience of what it means to loose weight tbh…..
And whatever your own experience is will not reflect whats going on here.

Does it ever really work for two people to be on a diet together??
Do whatever you need to for yourself.
One person will always feel they were 'made' agree to it. And are made partially responsible for the other person's success or failure.

If you are trying to lose weight then why bake a large cheesecake full of creamcheese and biscuits and butter. Seems counterproductive.

I have no self control when there are treats around but I do not blame anyone else for this and really neither should your husband. He is cross with you but actually should be cross with his own lack of willpower. Maybe he needs more help exploring why he eats.

Is his name Adam, were you in a particularly luscious garden and was there a snake there too?

It's the only explanation from where I'm sitting.

Totally weird behaviour from both of you.

Plus who starts a diet and then decides to bake a cake less than a week in??

He shouldn’t be losing the plot like that but it was really quite thoughtless of you knowing how much he is struggling. Most people would feel unsupported if not sabotaged in his situation.

I imagine if a man brought home a giant cheesecake when his wife (who struggles to diet) was on a diet, everyone would be calling him thoughtless, manipulative, etc etc

Agree I did snort when I read this. Diets send some people a bit odd. Maybe he needs to try something a bit less restrictive? I'd behave like a nut job if I was on a low carb diet too I think

So many replies! I‘ll come back to this later as I‘m on the way to see my parents now and a slow typer on my phone.

Here‘s the recipe for those who asked:

sallysbakingaddiction.com/classic-cheesecake/

I used half monk fruit extract and half allulose instead of sugar and just baked the filling without the crust (in a springform pan with silicon coated parchment paper at the bottom). I also added a little bit of custard powder to give it extra stability. The water bath method is something I hadn‘t tried before and it‘s great - perfect smooth and creamy texture and no cracks.

Just getting off the bus now, so will reply to everyone‘s very good points a bit later!

It's silly to make a cake in the middle of a diet.

If you aren't committed to it fair enough but your DH obviously needs more support here and I think you are being unfair.

How old is this man!? What’s wrong with just having a chat about you baking in while on a diet? Though I don’t see a problem with that either, as you’ve said it’s low carb.
People like this need to chill TF out, life’s to short to argue over a bloody low carb cheesecake.
I’d also appreciate the recipe 😜

Sorry, just seen you’ve posted the recipe link above already! Thanks!

He's acting like a child however I may have had problems swerving it and I'm always trying not to to eat too much!

I'd like to see the recipe too.

Exactly this! If it was reversed the DH would be not supportive, lacking sense etc.

Low carb doesn’t mean it’s low calorie or even good for for you, OP. It is quite daft to bake a cake on a diet.

He’s got no self-control, no willpower and he’s taking it out on you when he needs to change it himself, if that’s what he wants.

You can eat cheesecake if you want, he needs to work on himself, not have a go at you.

No , baking a cake was not helpful. The ingredients that 'needed' to be used presumably included cream cheese, soured cream and butter, all of which could have been used, in small amounts at a time, in savory recipes over a period of a month or so, particularly if you had frozen them in small portions.

Your husband's reaction was way over the top though.

NB: try The Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet book by Dr Mark Harman. Includes lots of easy sugar free low carb recipes. You can check it out for free via Internet Archive

Recipe as well please!

I have 3 stone to lose, dp doesn't. I get frustrated when he buys chocolate, biscuits, donuts, nice bread etc. I ask him to hide it because I have no will power.

If it's low carb though I don't see the problem? I do low carb and plan a cheat day every 10 days. It's my favourite day x

You baked a low carb treat when your on a low carb diet I don't see the issue and yes I'm on a diet I still have treats just smaller portions less often etc

I see what you did there, I see you @LookItsMeAgain v droll 😅

aside from that do you think we’re going to get this recipe any time soon huh? Op?

Poor guy. You are not helping him.

I don't think I would have baked it unless I had to use up ingredients and then I would have said I am baking this for insert people and pack it up to take.
Yes it's a bit nasty of him to respond like this instead of just " I wish you hadn't made this I will struggle now"
My DH and I did a diet together and we agreed on some mini magnums as treats and they were in freezer for 1 each evening in calorie allowance.
I have terrible willpower and if my DH bought a load of nice crisps home I would struggle to leave them alone so it's kind of mean to tempt.

Sorry cross post with recipe. You can go now OP 😅