Wedding on sisters 21st birthday.

[Weddingbirthdaydrama]

A family member has two daughters, one is getting married and has chosen her sisters 21st birthday as the wedding date. Apparently it was the only date available. My kids are close to the birthday sister, and a group of them were planning to tie a balloon to the birthday girls chair at the reception after all the formal parts are over. The bride found out and had their mum put a stop to it. I have just found out they have a surprise birthday party for the girl planned, all the cousins are leaving the wedding reception early and meeting at a friends house to celebrate the girls 21st. I told my kids they are causing a huge issue in the family, but they insist it’s only fair as the bride did this deliberately to stop her sister having a party. I can’t say I entirely disagree with them as the girl isn’t getting a party due the wedding. I am in two minds about it. I can tell on them and have it stopped, or pretend I know nothing. They aren’t leaving before the formalities are done, and plan to be discreet. But I imagine ten people leaving a wedding will be noticed.

I find it hard to feel bad for the bride as she is horribly cruel to her younger sister.

From the events you have descibed that seems to work both ways, doesn't it? And it's clear the family in general favour the younger sister, not just the parents. Vicious circle sort of stuff. Families at their worst.

It's all terribly sad really.
Hope the bride's new husband has her back at least.

The bride's issue was with her parents, not her sister, it's not her fault her parents play favourites. The bride played silly game and lost, she could have chosen any of the other 364 days of the year, she could have left a bit of room to acknowledge her sister's milestone birthday on the day but she did not. As a consequence she didn't get the evening reception she wanted and she has no one but herself to blame.

The bride played silly game and lost, she could have chosen any of the other 364 days of the year, she could have left a bit of room to acknowledge her sister's milestone birthday on the day but she did not

Exactly. I can't feel sorry for her. She completely brought this on herself.

Also, is 11pm early to leave a wedding? Doesn't sound like it to me.

Good on them.

Mean sister could have picking any other day if the year.

Yes little maybe the golden child but that’s on her parents not her. She got no 18th as covid and her cousins/friends wanted to celebrate her, she wasn’t being a me me me me.

You reap what you sow if she wanted a day about her don’t pick your own sisters birthday.

To the birthdays happen every year a wedding is a once kinda thing with this sisters chip I’ll bet she will have another she won’t have to compete with her sister for 😂😂

The younger ones left at 930.

To explain the favouritism, it’s not so much the parents playing favourites so much as life. Younger sister is incredibly smart and beautiful. Pretty much good at everything, and is also a lovely person. Everyone loves her. Younger sister got a scholarship to a private school, older sister didn’t. Younger sister was in a lot of sport teams and parents spent a lot of time taking her to games. Younger sister invited to all the parties etc. her life just took more of the parents time.

Older sister was incredibly jealous and mean to the younger sister. I think she was allowed to have her wedding on her sister’s 21st because older sister only had a handful of friends and had a tiny party. I think the parents were trying to even it out a bit but went about it the wrong way. I think the younger sister would have had a bigger 21st than her sisters wedding, and this would have caused an issue.

I lack sympathy for the bride because her younger sister spent many hours at my house hiding from her older sister.

It does rather sound like the bride has spent her life being reminded of her shortcomings wrt her sister.

All very sad, all very toxic and not likely something that can be healed.

I see OP, but because you lacked sympathy for the bride you allowed this party go ahead (by not telling) and so have made things worse. A real pity I think.

If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to know arranging the wedding on a siblings birthday and not being willing to acknowledge it on the day (a toast/balloons whatever) will cause friction.
The bride made family chose.

I don't understand why the parents didn't suggest a party the weekend before or after rather than a family dinner. Sounds like they didn't want younger child to have the spotlight.