Social services acting unlawfully

[Mumursoold]

Hi , Moved here 8 years ago fleeing a stacking violent alcoholic rapist father. Both children are diagnosed with Dyspraxia and hyper sensory. The local authority wouldn’t accept their diagnosis reports. My son became suicidal and my other son was severely bullied. So I took them both out of school. So the head teacher wrote a nasty letter to social services and we were targeted and had our lives turned upside down. They took me to court twice but it didn’t meet the criteria for removal of my children. So they then spent 2 and half years , making our lives an absolute living hell. They told the violent father where we live and gave him one of their solicitors and treated him like a king. Gave him a positive parenting assessment and they gave me a negative parenting assessment. Social services use narcissistic abuse to provoke a reaction out of you. They use silence to make you feel uneasy. I was very aware they were recording me in my home. We were terrified of them. This is abuse. They absolutely hated me and made me suffer for 2 and a half years. They said my children aren’t disabled even thou they both told them they are. They said, it was me putting ideas into their heads. They took me to court for fabrication of illness and I was completely taken apart and made to look like a peadophile and a child murderer. They are corrupt. They actually wanted to take my children away. They won with their own biased judge. Interestingly they took me to court in a different area. 1 and a half journey out of this area. So they have my 13 year old innocent vulnerable child isolated from the people that love him. I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks and they don’t like him seeing his 17 year old brother because he’s a bad influence on him. They have been showing my children photographs and letters and trying to make them watch videos of their father. Both boys witnessed the father hit me in the face in the supermarket. I suffered 9 years of abuse from the father and his brother and sister. My children witnessed horrific violence during contact at the grandparents house.Their is police log to back this up. But the authority choose to not listen and ignore the evidence. My boy’s are being forced against their will. My children are absolutely terrified. Both children are going to have mental health issues for the rest of their lives. This authority only knows how to punish people and they do that very well. There is no care here. Your expected to drag your children to school kicking and screaming. Interestingly they don’t have any screening here for the children. They absolutely hate disabilities. Which is very cruel. I’ve been told that I will have to go back there to see my children. I won’t be able to see my children ever again. I will end up dead. This is beyond cruel. I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. We have been treated with total disregard. This is malicious punishment. I’m totally isolated and on my own. I’m really frightened for my son , he can’t defend himself. They said in court that he is easy. My very tearful and emotional. I don't know what to do or who to talk to for fear of this authority. Has anyone else experienced this before..? I could do with some support.

Sorry nothing practical but what an awful experience sending you a big hug

Hmm, get a lawyer?

They ‘gave one of their solicitors to him’? Really?

i know social services can be incompetent and crap but this sounds pretty far fetched

Are you getting support with your mental health OP?

Sorry but this makes no sense. How would Social services make you look like a child murderer? What child do they think you have murdered?

Oh goodness me , I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your children :(

OP a lot seems to have gone on here, and you are clearly distressed. However some of it doesn't really make sense.

I'm a social worker myself, and I've met great ones and not so great ones. However, the whole thing around your ex getting 'given' a solicitor by them seems very very unlikely - as in a Local Authority solicitor can only represent the LA, not both a parent and the LA? Perhaps this is just what he told you to upset you?

There is lots written here that I could comment on but what I think would help you most is to get an advocate, some mental health support and speak to your own solicitor.

I have to agree with this poster.

I am sorry you are in distress, but you need to get a good lawyer, get a good therapist, and then work with social services and be honest with yourself.

You would not have been made out to be a child murderer or a paedophile.

Social services don't have lawyers they can give people, or judges they employ for court hearings.

It's not far fetched at all.

But I would have said the same thing, had my friend not been going through something vaguely similar herself, it's been absolutely awful and she's still doing court.

She's a wonderful mother and puts more energy, money and love into making sure her children's needs are met by everyone (school, family, other support) than most of us.

It's really affected those of us close to her, seeing what's happening and being allowed and why they're doing this or that.

I'll call a spade a spade and if I've ever not agreed with something she's thought or wants to say to the professionals etc, I tell her. She has other friends round her who are as brutally honest.

There is something very wrong with a lot of SS in the UK at the moment. And its often women (often who are neurodivergent themselves) parenting children with additional needs and/ or disabilities who are disproportionately being discriminated against.

I don't know you and you could be fabricating this but it sounds too close to.my friends very real situation for me to not tell people on this thread that this is a thing.

OP I would seek some help and advice possibly from a domestic abuse charity who will have experience in this area. It sounds like you aren’t in a good place and you could do with someone to advocate you. Engage with all the mental health services offered and also keep talking to your solicitor.

I don't agree with others that this seems far-fetched. There's a Facebook group exposing the corruption of social services. Just because you've not been in the op situation doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Some of them are so fucking corrupt that it's sickening. They take children away from loving parents and leave the ones that are being abused, and then they end up being killed 😡

Of course Facebook groups are known for being bastions of truth and objectivity

I know the group being referred to. Constance Marten followed it.

I bet you think they get paid a premium for blonde hair blue eyed kids as well don't you...

I wish people would remember that whatever the situation there is clearly a very distressed mother lacking in a support network on the other end of this post.

OP it sounds like an incredibly difficult situation and I wish you and your DC the best. I don't have any useful advice but agree with others you should seek an advocate and, as difficult as it may be, try to engage with SS for some support, perhaps the situation is salvageable? When you say you haven't seen your son in 6 weeks, so you understand the reason and what measures have been put in place? Is it permanent?

People literally come on here to doubt a person that is clearly in distress just because they've never experienced her situation?
Just because you've never experienced it doesn't make it untrue. Why not just keep your mouth shut rather than probably make this woman feel worse than what she is already feeling.
Believe it or not, SS can be evil and have and still DO take children from loving homes because, unfortunately, some people are sick and twisted and get a kick out of destroying others. Carry on living in your little bubbles where everything and everyone is wonderful 😂

It’s a bit confusing. Is your 17 year old still living with you and your 13 year is now with his dad?

Some of this sounds bizarre. Why couldn’t the doctor who diagnosed them testify about their disabilities? What ‘reaction’ did you have when you say ss abused you? How were you made to look like a peadofile murderer? How was your ex ‘given’ a solicitor by ss? How are you never going to see your children again? It’s strange that every single authority from the school/teachers/doctors/social workers/judges etc have worked so hard for so long to remove your children from you for no reason.

There's some dicey opinions on here, I can tell you from both sides how shit social services are. I used to be a social worker, I found the local authority totally disrespected parents & carers & left after a few years.
Many times I felt that some social workers (not all but many) had ongoing friction with parents that they simply took personally & it was then virtually impossible for those parents to reverse the relationship. The professionals were as stuck as the parents.

I don't agree that the OP has to have some sort of mental health issue & that is why some of what she says seems confused. Sometimes situations drive you that way. And if there are mental health issues, so what, she needs support not some social services department removing her children.

I have been on the other side as a family member when children in my more distant family were under social services. They were totally incompetent, lied about the circumstances & just did the laziest job they could. I can quite believe that these organisations go completely over the top the other way too. Those who believe that they always do a good job & don't become sick as teams are simply naive.

There was a case in Scotland a few years ago where social workers were removing whole families of children from parents, they tried to coerce the children to say they were being ritually abused. There was no evidence only the social workers who swore blind that was what was going on. There's some social workers who still believe that there was ritual abuse even though there plainly wasn't.

I can tell you first hand that organisations often lie to cover up their own incompetence. I have seen this myself, taken it to the ombudsman & been proved right. It's unethical but they get away with it daily.

I'm sorry OP, I really am. Please feel you can DM me & I will at least listen & try to help.
I would say please don't allow this organisation to define you, or destroy you. Hold onto your truth.

Given that the OP says she has a diagnosis of PTSD it would seem fairly clear that she has mental health issues, or did you just choose to ignore that bit? Out of interest what sort of social worker were you?

I took that diagnosis of PTSD to mean that she was traumatised by the way that this service has treated her.
And as I said before, so what if there are mental health issues, it doesn't mean that she is either wrong or that this organisation hasn't treated her badly or abusively. Or that she shouldn't receive support rather than her children removed. Like, that won't help, and would be enough to traumatise & give someone a stress disorder.

I was a children's social worker for the LA

@jenandberrys you do seem particularly invested with the idea that OP is wrong. Maybe she's not. I could tell you things that you'd probably not want to believe but are absolutely true. Let's not be naive

I am Foster carer.

I always used to think that ss always had it right etc and honestly the majority of the time children get removed too late BUT I have dealt with some shoddy, incompetent SWs and as messy hair said they sometimes struggle to be objective and once the family is in their sights it can be a battle of wills etc