Social services acting unlawfully

[Mumursoold]

Hi , Moved here 8 years ago fleeing a stacking violent alcoholic rapist father. Both children are diagnosed with Dyspraxia and hyper sensory. The local authority wouldn’t accept their diagnosis reports. My son became suicidal and my other son was severely bullied. So I took them both out of school. So the head teacher wrote a nasty letter to social services and we were targeted and had our lives turned upside down. They took me to court twice but it didn’t meet the criteria for removal of my children. So they then spent 2 and half years , making our lives an absolute living hell. They told the violent father where we live and gave him one of their solicitors and treated him like a king. Gave him a positive parenting assessment and they gave me a negative parenting assessment. Social services use narcissistic abuse to provoke a reaction out of you. They use silence to make you feel uneasy. I was very aware they were recording me in my home. We were terrified of them. This is abuse. They absolutely hated me and made me suffer for 2 and a half years. They said my children aren’t disabled even thou they both told them they are. They said, it was me putting ideas into their heads. They took me to court for fabrication of illness and I was completely taken apart and made to look like a peadophile and a child murderer. They are corrupt. They actually wanted to take my children away. They won with their own biased judge. Interestingly they took me to court in a different area. 1 and a half journey out of this area. So they have my 13 year old innocent vulnerable child isolated from the people that love him. I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks and they don’t like him seeing his 17 year old brother because he’s a bad influence on him. They have been showing my children photographs and letters and trying to make them watch videos of their father. Both boys witnessed the father hit me in the face in the supermarket. I suffered 9 years of abuse from the father and his brother and sister. My children witnessed horrific violence during contact at the grandparents house.Their is police log to back this up. But the authority choose to not listen and ignore the evidence. My boy’s are being forced against their will. My children are absolutely terrified. Both children are going to have mental health issues for the rest of their lives. This authority only knows how to punish people and they do that very well. There is no care here. Your expected to drag your children to school kicking and screaming. Interestingly they don’t have any screening here for the children. They absolutely hate disabilities. Which is very cruel. I’ve been told that I will have to go back there to see my children. I won’t be able to see my children ever again. I will end up dead. This is beyond cruel. I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. We have been treated with total disregard. This is malicious punishment. I’m totally isolated and on my own. I’m really frightened for my son , he can’t defend himself. They said in court that he is easy. My very tearful and emotional. I don't know what to do or who to talk to for fear of this authority. Has anyone else experienced this before..? I could do with some support.

I do actually see your point totally and I’d have said the same at one point about tin foil hats as I would have absolutely thought it was totally impossible and couldn’t happen , all the ‘there’s no smoke without fire’ stuff. I can see how it must sound ridiculous but then it happened to me and I was at first very confident thinking ‘ well I have my paperwork I’ll show it , prove the diagnosis etc and care needs and they’ll realise I’m not exaggerating or fabricating!’ How wrong I was . I showed my paperwork and nothing - the same things kept being said and there I was waving my letters in people’s faces saying ‘look ! I’m not making stuff up!’ And nobody would listen they just keep saying ‘well this person (who we had never met) thinks it sounds like FII as there are just too many conditions for one child and he doesn’t present the way you say he does at school ‘ We just needed help for him to access an education and we found ourselves basically accused of child abuse.

I sincerely hope it never happens to any of you . Even though it would be the only thing that would make you understand that I’m not paranoid or deluded I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone ever.

Because there was a method in their madness. They needed to use his parental responsibilities. They needed his permission. That’s why they treated him like a king. The LA wouldn’t have been able to this without his permission.

No this is my first time. I felt I needed to come forward and speak out because what has happened to us is so unbelievable.

I totally agree with you. This is the whole reason why I needed to come forward and speak out because it’s so unbelievable. I needed to know if other people were going through the same thing. I’m just horrified with everything that’s happened.

It's amazing that I've worked closely with social workers for 16 years and never yet seen the sorts of obvious corruption people are suggesting is widespread.

I'm met lazy social workers. I've met incompetent ones. But ones who actively wanted to harm dc? Or who were willing to prioritise some sort of funding issue over an actual child? Never.

In this position it may be useful to request a SAR from school so you can actually see what professionals have said about you.

In my own case my dd was going to be put on a CP plan because CAMHS was not supporting her. I had to fight and fight to get this support. I am grateful that the SW supported me as they didn’t at first and blamed me. I used what I knew (bc I work with SW regularly) and my knowledge of the law (my job) but I knew it was a risk as I had seen others not be treated well or listened to.

It’s very rare, but it does happen. I’m glad that where you work things are obviously done properly and are child centred and moral.

It’s much like the police force. Vast majority all above board and those in that profession may never see their colleagues act unprofessionally but there are rare occasions where someone in a position of power abuses that (Wayne couzens for example or situations where a PO is racist)

And also as you say some SW are lazy or incompetent and that allows schools to influence and manipulate them

Or newly qualified and hound and out of their depth…

Young, not hound! Esp in terms of experience with disabilities. See it as a parenting problem rather than starting at support for the disabilities.

Yes exactly! So many times I was told ‘it must be you as there are too many diagnoses for one family’ not even realising or understanding that the majority were genetic

They have targets to meet. To again their quota.

Social workers don’t have quotas.

You do t need any qualifications at all to home educate. I have no gcses absolutely no qualifications and I home educated some of my children and they did exceptionally well

Legally you might not need qualifications, but that only speaks to the dismally loose restrictions on home education in the UK and the mediocre education some children are getting. I wouldn’t boast about choosing to home educate your children when you have no GSCEs and can’t structure a sentence or use commas correctly… Didn’t your children deserve better?

My eldest took 6 gcses privately and got level 9 in all . No tutors .
the LA did a yearly visit and we’re more than happy with the education offered …

That’s very impressive and quite an accomplishment worth boasting about. But I have to imagine you’d agree that’s not going to be the typical outcome for most children home educated by parents with poor educational records of their own. Given the problems OP’s sons’ have and the obvious issues she herself has, the professionals in the school had a responsibility to report their concerns, IMO, lest the children completely fall through the cracks and become yet another statistic.

I do agree with you. I managed to get myself totally chucked off fb HE groups and ostracised by the local home Ed community as I allowed LA visits to my home and have samples of work. The system does need overhauling and checks to be made .

*gave

My lack of gcses wasn’t from failing them either I just wasn’t able to take them due to MH issues. I was in the minority getting my dc to do private gcses as well not many home educators do them

I know this sounds a bit blunt but:

• the social workers have had concerns for years
• the school has had concerns
• you've failed to convince judges at multiple hearings over several years that there are no concerns
• they've looked at extensive expert evidence and had reports and people giving evidence (like the person from the dyspraxia organisation).
• despite all that they have concerns
• you've decided the best way to deal with this is by ghosting either social services or your children (I can't tell)

There comes a point where it's either dozens of prime all working against you in some crazy conspiracy, or maybe there is actually something to worry about.

From what you've written, and your you've written it, I suspect the latter.

That assumes that the education system is fit for all. It is not. I don’t want to home educate, yet I had to for one dc for GCSE while they were out of school. Autistic girl, her needs unrecognised. She got two marks shy of full marks - a nine.

she completed the rest of her gcse part time in school this year catching up a missed year of work. She is a shadow of her former self. School is too loud, too bright, too overwhelming for her. These are the kids that end up home educated. It is not always a choice. And shame on you for pulling people up on their writing.

Picnicinthecar This is exactly what happened to us.
I showed the PS head teacher my footage of my son stimming and stereotyping. She said, “ Don’t bother with a diagnosis !” What a strange thing to say..?
My son was being bullied by a boy in his class. So the head teacher pared my son up with the bully and made him sit next to him in class. The head teacher said, my son won’t know how to deal with it. He needs to learn how to deal with it. Unfortunately things went down hill rapidly.
My son was placed in the Sencos class. My son couldn’t produce enough written work, so the Senco was punishing him by keeping him in and taking away his free time, so he could complete more written work. The Senco didn’t recognise his fine motor skill difficulties.
Then we had 2 weeks of swimming lessons. My son couldn’t swim. He was placed in a very deep pool. He had to stand on his tiptoes to keep his head above water and tip his head back to stop the water going into his mouth. He started having very bad nightmares about drowning. I spoke to H Teacher about this and asked if he could be placed in a more shallow pool and she said, no ! He needs to learn to swim. This is provided by the LA for all children. I tried to talk to her about gross motor skill difficulties but she didn’t know anything about it.
We then had another bad bulling incident. I was called in for a meeting with the H Teacher. I explained what had happened, she said, she would speak with the boy’s in question and get back to me.We also disgusted my son’s reoccurring ear, nose and throat illness. He was obviously suffering from stress. Interestingly H Teacher disclosed to me she actually suffered with Tonsillitis during her schooling years. Her Tonsils had actually rotted away..? Later on that day H Teacher called my son into her office. She told him she had spoken to the boy’s and all of the boy’s have said No ! they haven’t done this. She then said to my son many times, “ did u forgot “? My son told me he didn’t know what she was saying? He didn’t understand what she was saying. He said, she didn’t care about me. He felt scared of her. She then said, I will deal with this later. You can go now. But she never did raise the issue again.
H Teacher then started to question my son in her office on a daily basis . About how his home life was. This continued for 2 weeks. My son was getting very upset and confused with all the questioning. My son was refusing to go to school.
Then we went into the first Covid lockdown. That was a huge release of pressure for us.
We went back to school and the bullying continued. I had to battle with the school to move my son off the same table as the bully. They actually said, “ We can’t isolate your son”?
My son continued to be physically and verbally abused in the classroom.
No real education was actually happening for him in that school.So I had to make the decision to take him out of school and home educate him myself. I felt unsupported and driven out of school. It was a very sad day for us.
So the H teacher reported me to SS. She wrote a very nasty letter saying, “ The mother has made profound complaints to this establishment”. “ The mothers mental health is so severely impacting on her ability to parent her children correctly “.
So this is proof, we have been deliberately targeted.
Picnicinthecar you have helped me enormously. Thank you for standing your ground.

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this . There’s a fb group called fiightback that might be useful for support and information x