Social services acting unlawfully

[Mumursoold]

Hi , Moved here 8 years ago fleeing a stacking violent alcoholic rapist father. Both children are diagnosed with Dyspraxia and hyper sensory. The local authority wouldn’t accept their diagnosis reports. My son became suicidal and my other son was severely bullied. So I took them both out of school. So the head teacher wrote a nasty letter to social services and we were targeted and had our lives turned upside down. They took me to court twice but it didn’t meet the criteria for removal of my children. So they then spent 2 and half years , making our lives an absolute living hell. They told the violent father where we live and gave him one of their solicitors and treated him like a king. Gave him a positive parenting assessment and they gave me a negative parenting assessment. Social services use narcissistic abuse to provoke a reaction out of you. They use silence to make you feel uneasy. I was very aware they were recording me in my home. We were terrified of them. This is abuse. They absolutely hated me and made me suffer for 2 and a half years. They said my children aren’t disabled even thou they both told them they are. They said, it was me putting ideas into their heads. They took me to court for fabrication of illness and I was completely taken apart and made to look like a peadophile and a child murderer. They are corrupt. They actually wanted to take my children away. They won with their own biased judge. Interestingly they took me to court in a different area. 1 and a half journey out of this area. So they have my 13 year old innocent vulnerable child isolated from the people that love him. I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks and they don’t like him seeing his 17 year old brother because he’s a bad influence on him. They have been showing my children photographs and letters and trying to make them watch videos of their father. Both boys witnessed the father hit me in the face in the supermarket. I suffered 9 years of abuse from the father and his brother and sister. My children witnessed horrific violence during contact at the grandparents house.Their is police log to back this up. But the authority choose to not listen and ignore the evidence. My boy’s are being forced against their will. My children are absolutely terrified. Both children are going to have mental health issues for the rest of their lives. This authority only knows how to punish people and they do that very well. There is no care here. Your expected to drag your children to school kicking and screaming. Interestingly they don’t have any screening here for the children. They absolutely hate disabilities. Which is very cruel. I’ve been told that I will have to go back there to see my children. I won’t be able to see my children ever again. I will end up dead. This is beyond cruel. I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. We have been treated with total disregard. This is malicious punishment. I’m totally isolated and on my own. I’m really frightened for my son , he can’t defend himself. They said in court that he is easy. My very tearful and emotional. I don't know what to do or who to talk to for fear of this authority. Has anyone else experienced this before..? I could do with some support.

I can be sure that her thinking is muddled and she is not a reliable witness as her post is clear evidence of that. Therefore I am skeptical about her assertions, some of which seem deeply improbable.

Or perhaps she's upset? Distraught even. Understandably

Just to add. family court doesn't work for families or children IMO.
They usually follow recommendations of social services & so if the reports aren't accurate the judgements will also be inaccurate.

The evidence is based on balance of probability not burden of proo, so the judgement is on what the judge thinks & believes. It's a deeply flawed system & needs to change, but the way things are I don't see that happening anytime soon.

😳 straight in saying it’s likely she’s a liar & an unfit mother? Awful.

Sadly I believe this as I was effectively victimised by SS after exh left for being disabled myself
My 3 DS's were removed for.... potential future emotional harm.... note the word potential
They're all adults now
I hope you have strong mental health support, if not see your GP asap I'm sorry

@Messyhair321
I agree with you

I don't think it's helpful to get into debates as to whether OP is telling the truth, getting confused or has mental health issues . Same applies to whether SS are competent or not.

The OP is looking for guidance and advice as into how to manage this situation. As PPs have said ... I would approach advocacy services to help you. Also speak to a domestic abuse charity.

I wonder if your child diagnosis was given in a different country and that's why it's not accepted here ? Could you approach your GP and discuss this with them ? Maybe ask your GP for support with your PTSD.

If you can and with support from advocacy contact a solicitor if you feel SS have acted unlawfully.

I wish you the best OP.

Please contact family rights group.

they provide non-judgemental support and help for anyone involved in the child protection system.

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP. My own experience with SS was shocking.
I hope you can find some support.

The OP is looking for guidance and advice as into how to manage this situation. As PPs have said ... I would approach advocacy services to help you. Also speak to a domestic abuse charity.

This.

I seem to spend my time on here railing against posters who seem to have no comprehension of the world outside their own privileged little bubble, the little bubble where everyone in authority is right and anyone who comes up against that authority is obviously a "wrong un'."

I volunteer with teens who are struggling, often they have been through the hands of social services and whilst as a pp mentioned, ss are often too slow to act, they also often cause more damage than good. The thing we see most often is kids being damaged by being forced to see abusive patents - mainly fathers, who put on a good show of being respectable parents, whilst the mother is vilified and run down by this abuse. As a pp also mentioned, some social workers are tenacious, it becomes a battle of wills and they aren't prepared to back down. As one of our mums said, she's a nervous wreck, her SW picks up on the tiniest things - a cup left on the draining board, a child still in PJs at lunchtime in the holidays. She can't parent normally, but her ex beat her infront of the kids, that's fine as he is no risk to those kids apparently.

When you say the local authority didn't accept the dyspraxia report, who do you mean? The SEND support or the social workers?

I am so sorry, I would get a lawyer, I hope you get legal aid and gather all the evidence you can and fight back. Women's Aid might be able to help as well. Had something similar happen to my cousins growing up, got taken from my lovely cousin and given to her awful creepy but charming husband who told social workers they were wonderful whilst at same time he was certainly making very suggestive comments to me as a child. Its very hard when you are understandably so distressed but best to write to them in a non-emotional way.

I hope you have some support OP.

If only I was able to post the papers from my child protection meetings. The accusations of being a drug user and heavy alcohol drinker whilst refusing my request for fortnightly hair strand tests to prove they were lying. The chair shouted me down and told me they didn't have to prove anything and I'd do well to just agree with what they're saying and accept the conditions of the cp plan or they will have uncooperative and in denial added to the list. I refused to do that and he really did do it.

Luckily, they got so wild that it became easier for me to catch them out and prove what they were doing. Not heard a peep from them since it was over... not a peep for the kids who were in so much danger and were neglected to the point of having court papers ready to go.

I don't understand why people can't believe that some social workers really are arseholes who cause nothing but harm and anyone with horror stories are lying, awful parents with MH issues.

@Mumursoold you won't get much support on mumsnet unfortunately as the masses here don't believe that corruption occurs with Social Services. As a couple of other posters have said, I believe you. FII fabricated induced illness is one of the biggest things on their radar at the moment. They're going after so many families for it and they are refusing to accept private diagnoses. Many families being put on Child Protection Plans for it, or worse, having their children removed.

There are a few groups on Facebook that help with corrupt SS in the UK, you should be able to find an advocate through there to help guide you.

You should also try Women's Aid as they should be able to offer you advice due to the domestic violence.

Some families are teaming up and taking their LA's to Judicial Review, but this costs tens of thousands of pounds so isn't an option for everyone sadly.

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I do know a number of people who have gone through utter hell at the hands of these people. It has left them traumatised.

Schools, LA, Gp. They said, The reports were fake and not genuine. They said, my children aren’t disabled and that I had made it all up. Unfortunately Dyspraxia doesn’t get recognised.

I was abused as a teenager, and SS were totally evil to me and treated me like a stupid naughty little brat who needed to be punished for "lying." They lied to me and gaslighted me, and denied my disability. They are evil.

Can I ask who gave your children their diagnosis ? I am not being critical of you, but would be keen to know given that all services have said they aren't genuine.

If your children do have disabilities (which I don't dispute) then surely the GP or other medical professional would be able to assess and confirm this?

Huh?

How can they make out you're a 'child murderer' when there's no one dead?

Way too much hyperbole in this post

Ah just seen you're not in the UK

@Mumursoold actually the family rights group are really helpful & as far as I know provide a free phone service please look them up

When you took your children out of school, did you register them as being home schooled?

I know SS sometimes get it wrong, but this account seems unlikely. I think there's things very complex and complicated going on here.

I hope you can sort it out.💐

I work with SW and there are some good and some bad ones. If they get a bee in their bonnet that someone is a bad parent and school etc agree, they can be downright vindictive. You’re not in the U.K? I would have suggested contacting Coram. If you children were not attending school due to disability, I would probably suggest more assessment for further neurodiverse conditions. I have two dc that don’t attend school full time due to autism. I am grateful I have school onside, but I didn’t always.

Parents of children with disabilities being accused of FII has become such a concern that Cerebra and the University of Leeds were undertaking a research project on it )can't see that it's been published yet). Obviously noone on here can know the ins and outs of the OP's situation but it's far from unique https://cerebra.org.uk/legal-rights/cerebra-and-the-university-of-leeds-fii-fabricated-or-induced-illness-survey/

Sorry OP. It sounds like you have bend through hell. Those kids will be adults soon and they will find you. Don’t give up and don’t let them break you. Complain as much as you can.

Use your anger to motivate you. Think of them enjoying you breaking and resolve to stay strong. If you have medical evidence, use it.