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Original poster

Social services acting unlawfully

218 replies

Mumursoold · 28/06/2023 21:39

Hi , Moved here 8 years ago fleeing a stacking violent alcoholic rapist father. Both children are diagnosed with Dyspraxia and hyper sensory. The local authority wouldn’t accept their diagnosis reports. My son became suicidal and my other son was severely bullied. So I took them both out of school. So the head teacher wrote a nasty letter to social services and we were targeted and had our lives turned upside down. They took me to court twice but it didn’t meet the criteria for removal of my children. So they then spent 2 and half years , making our lives an absolute living hell. They told the violent father where we live and gave him one of their solicitors and treated him like a king. Gave him a positive parenting assessment and they gave me a negative parenting assessment. Social services use narcissistic abuse to provoke a reaction out of you. They use silence to make you feel uneasy. I was very aware they were recording me in my home. We were terrified of them. This is abuse. They absolutely hated me and made me suffer for 2 and a half years. They said my children aren’t disabled even thou they both told them they are. They said, it was me putting ideas into their heads. They took me to court for fabrication of illness and I was completely taken apart and made to look like a peadophile and a child murderer. They are corrupt. They actually wanted to take my children away. They won with their own biased judge. Interestingly they took me to court in a different area. 1 and a half journey out of this area. So they have my 13 year old innocent vulnerable child isolated from the people that love him. I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks and they don’t like him seeing his 17 year old brother because he’s a bad influence on him. They have been showing my children photographs and letters and trying to make them watch videos of their father. Both boys witnessed the father hit me in the face in the supermarket. I suffered 9 years of abuse from the father and his brother and sister. My children witnessed horrific violence during contact at the grandparents house.Their is police log to back this up. But the authority choose to not listen and ignore the evidence. My boy’s are being forced against their will. My children are absolutely terrified. Both children are going to have mental health issues for the rest of their lives. This authority only knows how to punish people and they do that very well. There is no care here. Your expected to drag your children to school kicking and screaming. Interestingly they don’t have any screening here for the children. They absolutely hate disabilities. Which is very cruel. I’ve been told that I will have to go back there to see my children. I won’t be able to see my children ever again. I will end up dead. This is beyond cruel. I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. We have been treated with total disregard. This is malicious punishment. I’m totally isolated and on my own. I’m really frightened for my son , he can’t defend himself. They said in court that he is easy. My very tearful and emotional. I don't know what to do or who to talk to for fear of this authority. Has anyone else experienced this before..? I could do with some support.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumursoold · 29/06/2023 23:32

I am not joking you . This actually happened and she wrote in her report. The father had to drink alcohol because it was a cooping strategy because he couldn’t deal with me.

OP posts:
Ilikeskinnyjeans · 29/06/2023 23:42

Never , ever , let a social worker into your home or near your children if you are a single parent or have an sen child . Ever .. trust me

Ilikeskinnyjeans · 29/06/2023 23:44

Op I am sending you so much love and support .. don’t give up

Original poster
Mumursoold · 30/06/2023 00:53

That is so kind . Thank you. X

OP posts:
AlfietheSchnauzer · 30/06/2023 01:16

Mumursoold · 28/06/2023 21:39

Hi , Moved here 8 years ago fleeing a stacking violent alcoholic rapist father. Both children are diagnosed with Dyspraxia and hyper sensory. The local authority wouldn’t accept their diagnosis reports. My son became suicidal and my other son was severely bullied. So I took them both out of school. So the head teacher wrote a nasty letter to social services and we were targeted and had our lives turned upside down. They took me to court twice but it didn’t meet the criteria for removal of my children. So they then spent 2 and half years , making our lives an absolute living hell. They told the violent father where we live and gave him one of their solicitors and treated him like a king. Gave him a positive parenting assessment and they gave me a negative parenting assessment. Social services use narcissistic abuse to provoke a reaction out of you. They use silence to make you feel uneasy. I was very aware they were recording me in my home. We were terrified of them. This is abuse. They absolutely hated me and made me suffer for 2 and a half years. They said my children aren’t disabled even thou they both told them they are. They said, it was me putting ideas into their heads. They took me to court for fabrication of illness and I was completely taken apart and made to look like a peadophile and a child murderer. They are corrupt. They actually wanted to take my children away. They won with their own biased judge. Interestingly they took me to court in a different area. 1 and a half journey out of this area. So they have my 13 year old innocent vulnerable child isolated from the people that love him. I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks and they don’t like him seeing his 17 year old brother because he’s a bad influence on him. They have been showing my children photographs and letters and trying to make them watch videos of their father. Both boys witnessed the father hit me in the face in the supermarket. I suffered 9 years of abuse from the father and his brother and sister. My children witnessed horrific violence during contact at the grandparents house.Their is police log to back this up. But the authority choose to not listen and ignore the evidence. My boy’s are being forced against their will. My children are absolutely terrified. Both children are going to have mental health issues for the rest of their lives. This authority only knows how to punish people and they do that very well. There is no care here. Your expected to drag your children to school kicking and screaming. Interestingly they don’t have any screening here for the children. They absolutely hate disabilities. Which is very cruel. I’ve been told that I will have to go back there to see my children. I won’t be able to see my children ever again. I will end up dead. This is beyond cruel. I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. We have been treated with total disregard. This is malicious punishment. I’m totally isolated and on my own. I’m really frightened for my son , he can’t defend himself. They said in court that he is easy. My very tearful and emotional. I don't know what to do or who to talk to for fear of this authority. Has anyone else experienced this before..? I could do with some support.

Paedophile and child murderer? Who died??? What???

Original poster
Mumursoold · 30/06/2023 01:39

That is so true. What on earth is happening.
Are they on some kind of mission..? I’ve never seen anything like this. They actually want to take your children. They said, I caused my children emotional distress when I took my children out of school. I thought I was saving their lives. Thank you for your advice.

OP posts:
CountryManor · 30/06/2023 03:07

Cocoalover · 28/06/2023 22:52

People literally come on here to doubt a person that is clearly in distress just because they've never experienced her situation?
Just because you've never experienced it doesn't make it untrue. Why not just keep your mouth shut rather than probably make this woman feel worse than what she is already feeling.
Believe it or not, SS can be evil and have and still DO take children from loving homes because, unfortunately, some people are sick and twisted and get a kick out of destroying others. Carry on living in your little bubbles where everything and everyone is wonderful 😂

This.

Quiverer · 30/06/2023 03:22

And simply would never have happened. Ditto social services having their own judge.

Quiverer · 30/06/2023 03:24

Sorry, that was meant to quote the post questioning the statement that social services gave one of their own solicitors to OP's ex.

Quiverer · 30/06/2023 03:27

OP, if you haven't already had a solicitor involved, you need to see an expert solicitor for realistic advice on your situation.

Nussbaum · 30/06/2023 03:28

Op, are you the same poster from a couple of weeks ago who posted the same kind of stuff?

onanotherday · 30/06/2023 03:35

Ilikeskinnyjeans · 29/06/2023 23:42

Never , ever , let a social worker into your home or near your children if you are a single parent or have an sen child . Ever .. trust me

...err as a single parent to two SEN boys and a social worker, I take offence at this! Many SW try their very best day in day out. OP you sound like you have had a dreadful time. As others have said get an advocate, and a solicitor and go back to court.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/06/2023 03:47

OP some of your claims - such as social workers giving a solicitor to your ex - just aren't true. That doesn't happen.

I presume you have a lawyer. What advice is she or he giving you?

AngelAurora · 30/06/2023 06:24

Messyhair321 · 28/06/2023 23:04

There's some dicey opinions on here, I can tell you from both sides how shit social services are. I used to be a social worker, I found the local authority totally disrespected parents & carers & left after a few years.
Many times I felt that some social workers (not all but many) had ongoing friction with parents that they simply took personally & it was then virtually impossible for those parents to reverse the relationship. The professionals were as stuck as the parents.

I don't agree that the OP has to have some sort of mental health issue & that is why some of what she says seems confused. Sometimes situations drive you that way. And if there are mental health issues, so what, she needs support not some social services department removing her children.

I have been on the other side as a family member when children in my more distant family were under social services. They were totally incompetent, lied about the circumstances & just did the laziest job they could. I can quite believe that these organisations go completely over the top the other way too. Those who believe that they always do a good job & don't become sick as teams are simply naive.

There was a case in Scotland a few years ago where social workers were removing whole families of children from parents, they tried to coerce the children to say they were being ritually abused. There was no evidence only the social workers who swore blind that was what was going on. There's some social workers who still believe that there was ritual abuse even though there plainly wasn't.

I can tell you first hand that organisations often lie to cover up their own incompetence. I have seen this myself, taken it to the ombudsman & been proved right. It's unethical but they get away with it daily.

I'm sorry OP, I really am. Please feel you can DM me & I will at least listen & try to help.
I would say please don't allow this organisation to define you, or destroy you. Hold onto your truth.

A very balanced post, thank you. Please reach out to her, it's awful when you feel so backed into a corner with no way out. The corruption is rife in SS.

BlockbusterVideoCard · 30/06/2023 09:07

While I don't know whether the OP is wide of the mark or bang on, needs mental help support or not (good suggestion because if she didn't to begin with she probably does now), she definitely needs better advocacy and I certainly believe that SS could have been causing more harm than good to a dangerous level, and discriminating against her and her family, at least to an extent. It sounds complicated. It's not unknown for narcissistic (and dangerous) men to manipulate (often female) social workers, especially if they are inexperienced or understaffed, either.

corruption of social services

It's a bit much for PPs to suggest that SS are never corrupt (or so incompetent they might as well be). Not long ago the suggestion that the Met Police were as toxic in the 21st Century as they have now been shown and admitted to be, as an organisation and by their leadership, would have also been waved away by many people as hperbole or conspiracy. A torch needs shiny into all the murky corners of all these organisations that serve us, regularly.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 10:44

Thinking of you OP
As I said upthread my DS's were removed from my care for Potential emotional harm!
My exh left and I have a physical disability
Once they got a sniff, that was it
They are now High achieving well balanced( and protective of me)
Adult sons
Please seek legal advice and MH support

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 10:53

Just to add. This is the absolute truth The SW team manager was struck off as under psychological evaluation herself she was found to have a condition where she couldn't tell the difference between fact and fiction
I'll happily give details as it made the press

PicnicInthecar · 30/06/2023 12:02

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 10:44

Thinking of you OP
As I said upthread my DS's were removed from my care for Potential emotional harm!
My exh left and I have a physical disability
Once they got a sniff, that was it
They are now High achieving well balanced( and protective of me)
Adult sons
Please seek legal advice and MH support

This is what they use ‘potential future emotional harm’ even when there has been NO harm at any point and they can’t even specify exactly it’s used

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 12:09

@PicnicInthecar
Thank you for your comment
So many people said at the time
" No smoke without fire"
Middle son completed a masters and is now a management accountant
Proof enough I think!

HunkaMunkasslipper · 30/06/2023 12:13

@uncomfortablydumb53 'Potential future emotional harm' is the reason my ex's children were removed too.

Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt my ex was far from a perfect Mother. Her marriage was on the rocks (her being gay likely had something to do with that!) and her husband was a schizophrenic and abused her in front of them-however they were removed once she'd left him and kept having to move house to avoid him finding them and causing them harm-he was very unwell.

What doesn't sit right with me, regarding the reason given, is that being taken from that family unit (there are four of them, aged from 3 to 13 at the time of removal) has caused them so so much emotional harm. I truly believe much more than had they stayed together and perhaps had to move house a lot/experienced some unsavoury and undesirable things.

They were all separated, for a start. All went to different foster families initially and were moved between many until they reached the age they could leave, and later two to children's homes. Little to no effort was made to keep them in one another's lives. Four siblings who loved one another.
Two of them were abused while in foster care.

All four of them have emotional and mental health problems now.
Sure, that might have happened even if they'd stayed-but removing them to prevent emotional harm and then putting them into a different but worse situation? What's the point of that?

And as soon as they were old enough to be on fb etc, they were looking for their Mum, who despite not being great and having some problems, they missed and loved.

I am childless. I appreciate that there are some lovely individual SWs who do their best-they're (much like the police IME) the sort of institution where the ones doing their best and being congruent and hardworking are driven out by the fact that the upper echelons are generally corrupt and slapdash. I do not trust SS one bit.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 12:27

@HunkaMunkasslipper
I'm so very sorry for your ex's DC
The potential emotional harm was not done by your ex but by SS themselves
My DC we're eventually removed when my exh left us ... and the FC, although they were very good and supportive have a more dysfunctional family than I've ever seen including drug abuse, alcohol addiction DV in a previous marriage of FC
You really couldn't make it up!!

PicnicInthecar · 30/06/2023 13:24

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 12:09

@PicnicInthecar
Thank you for your comment
So many people said at the time
" No smoke without fire"
Middle son completed a masters and is now a management accountant
Proof enough I think!

People will always say ‘no smoke without fire’ or ‘there must be more to it ‘

The reality is you get just one so called professional’ with a warped or malicious opinion of a parent and once that opinion is on paper it gets circulated and repeated then suddenly presented as fact.

They cleverly with things like FII make ‘red flags’ of anything that could prove a parent is innocent so second opinions are ‘doctor shopping for more attention’, complaining is again ‘attention seeking’ they then try to lose or ignore any proof of conditions/diagnosis if they can. It’s a witch hunt