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Original poster

Wee in the night as a house guest

162 replies

TimeSlipMushroom · 17/06/2023 09:37

Currently staying the weekend with friends to attend an event away from home.

I needed a wee in the night and friend has made it very clear that she's not very happy and thinks it's bad form. Apparently people can hold it in. (I was a quiet as possible but did put a light on and flush the loo due to time of the month)

Now feeling anxious about tonight which will probably make me need a wee even more!

I hate confrontation but don't know what to do. Advice/hints/perspective please

OP posts:
Hbh17 · 17/06/2023 11:07

Who on earth polices use of basic facilities? Never heard of this. I want my house guests to treat my house like their own home so, of course, they can use the loo whenever they like. Just go as and when you need to.

LaMaG · 17/06/2023 11:08

Maybe you should keep your period bleed in too OP, just send it back to where it came from.

I find this madness on your fiends part. I have literally never had a full night even as a kid. I would love to. If I am sharing a room or staying I usually ask would they rather I flushed or not. But with the period obviously that's different. You'll just have to say it to her. There is no choice but to go and flush unless she plans on supplying you with a commode

FannythePinkFlamingo · 17/06/2023 11:09

Your friend is bonkers. Of course it’s acceptable to go for a wee in the night! I always go at least once. Can you take your phone as a torch tonight so you don’t have to put the light on?

Confused19831983 · 17/06/2023 11:12

Not ideal. But if you have to stay there I would just get some kind of receptacle - small bucket etc. you will have to improvise - and wee in that. Then empty the contents into loo at whatever your friend considers a reasonable time.
But your friend sounds totally unreasonable.

Ageingweightlifter · 17/06/2023 11:12

How can you relax if you can't wee? Your friend is not being fair. I am easily wakened by noise, but I just sleep with ear plugs. Simple. I would hate any of my guests to feel they couldn't be comfortable.... she shouldnt have guests if she's that easily startled.

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/06/2023 11:13

Your friend is bloody weird. I’d find a Premier Inn for tonight.

mastertomsmum · 17/06/2023 11:15

Oh that’s really impolite to say you can’t go to the loo at night.

CurlewKate · 17/06/2023 11:18

What did she actually say? Is it possible it was some sort of joke that went wrong? I only ask because it sounds so incredibly bonkers!

Isthisreasonable · 17/06/2023 11:20

That's terrible hosting. If you're a light sleeper just ask people not to flush and use their phone torch. Or ask them to use the downstairs loo if there is one. Not difficult.

She must be happy for guests to soil the sheets then.

MucozadeOnLucozade · 17/06/2023 11:21

I assume then her children aren't allowed to use toilet in the night???

Treaclemine · 17/06/2023 11:22

Sounds as if she doesn't drink enough. I thoughtI did, but had to spend the whole of Sunday attached to a drip as I was under hydrated.

Survey99 · 17/06/2023 11:25

I cant even imagine how that conversation would go between two adult women...

If she actually said the words you can't go during the night and must wait, and not perhaps just a bit grumpy she couldnt get back to sleep in this heat after hearing you , I would tell her she is being ridiculous and leave.

Alphabeaters · 17/06/2023 11:28

I would take my phone as a torch light. But absolutely still go for a wee in the night. And flush if needed!

LadyWiddiothethird · 17/06/2023 11:29

Just leave and go home.Wouldn’t stand for that.

Batalax · 17/06/2023 11:30

Wow. That’s such bed hosting.

Tomorrow morning pre-emt her. “Sorry about the loo last night. I tried to hold it but couldn’t”

readbooksdrinktea · 17/06/2023 11:31

bumblefeline · 17/06/2023 09:56

I would never stay there ever again, in fact would question my whole friendship with such a strange person.

Absolutely this. I'd never feel welcome or comfortable again.

mrsbyers · 17/06/2023 11:32

She’s love me then I’m up a few times emptying my stoma bag !

LakieLady · 17/06/2023 11:33

I've always needed to pee during the night, even in my teens.

Your friend is batshit, and not a good host. A good host doesn't make their guests feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

NineOfNine · 17/06/2023 11:38

Oh FFS.

Would she rather you wet the bed?

It’s totally unreasonable to say that guests can’t use the toilet at night if they need to.

FairyDustAndUnicorns · 17/06/2023 11:42

I just wouldn't stay with this friend again and would in fact go home early. Friend was rude. If they felt that way they could have just never invited you to stay again, that would have been the polite thing to do. I literally can't sleep if my bladder is full, if I've woken up to go it's because I need to go, it's what the body does to stop you peeing the bed! I also have IBS and definitely can't hold anything in there for 5min, your friend would have a heart attack 😁

SallyWD · 17/06/2023 11:43

Your friend is ridiculous! Awful behaviour to nahe a guest feel so uncomfortable. Don't stay with them again.

Iliketulips · 17/06/2023 11:43

Only way you're not going to go in the night is to stop drinking around 7pm and especially with this heat, that isn't an option. Both of us have been going in the night for years, and even our 21 year old DD will get up and go at some point.

SallyWD · 17/06/2023 11:45

Fannieannie63 · 17/06/2023 10:01

I have 3 kidneys and an extra ureta to my bladder! I’d love to have a word with her. She is asking people to hold…. It can make you really ill. she’s so wrong with this.

3 kidneys, wow! I didn't know this was possible. Can I have one? I only have one 😁

JudgeJ · 17/06/2023 11:48

NotLovingWFH · 17/06/2023 09:44

Lol lucky I’m not there, I generally get up at least twice a night though I’d use my phone torch rather than put a light on.

I'm usually up at least once but I know my bedroom and bathroom well enough and where my parts are that I can manage in the dark! In Winter when it's very dark and I'm a bit sleepy I've had some bumps though and I once manage to walk out onto the landing and crack my head on an unexpected door frame!

AtomicBlondeRose · 17/06/2023 11:48

So there are at least 6 people in the house? She’s lucky only one of them needed to see in the night - teenage boys might not often get up in the night but do have a tendency to actually go to sleep later than adults and might need their “last wee” after the grown ups are asleep already.