Wee in the night as a house guest

[TimeSlipMushroom]

Currently staying the weekend with friends to attend an event away from home.

I needed a wee in the night and friend has made it very clear that she's not very happy and thinks it's bad form. Apparently people can hold it in. (I was a quiet as possible but did put a light on and flush the loo due to time of the month)

Now feeling anxious about tonight which will probably make me need a wee even more!

I hate confrontation but don't know what to do. Advice/hints/perspective please

Omg this reminds me of an awful terrible night at a boyfriends house. Separate rooms so I couldn't ask where the loo was, I remembered it was an L shape anyway with no lock, so you had to risk being walked in on.
I'm too embarrassed to think of my solution, but weeing in the night is not negotiable!

She is being horrible. Using the toilet when needed is a basic human right.

If you can't get another place to stay and are too uncomfortable to talk to her and worried about just going to the toilet in the night, take a bucket and a roll of loo paper into your bedroom and empty it in the morning.

I have 3 kidneys and an extra ureta to my bladder! I’d love to have a word with her. She is asking people to hold…. It can make you really ill. she’s so wrong with this.

Eh lol. What exactly did she say?

What did she say to suggest she thinks it's 'bad form?'

I definitely wouldn't stay there again, it would make me super anxious which would make me need to wee more!

Ask your friend if a bucket in the corner is far more appropriate! How does she even know it was you that got up and not someone else in the house?

Reminds of DP's joke about the teenage girl who has a biker boyfriend to stay the night. She smuggles him into her room and says 'not a sound, or my dad will go mad'. During the night says he needs the toilet and she says 'you can't use the toilet, it's right next to mum and dad's bedroom. Go in the kitchen sink'. He sneaks off. After 20 minutes he still hasn't come back, so she creeps down to the kitchen. She can see him in the gloom, by the sink. 'What's the matter? Did you use the sink?' she hisses. 'Yes', he replies, 'but I can't find any paper'.

Your friend's bonkers. Ignore her and don't go to stay/have her to stay!

Your friend is mental, though I'm impressed with her bladder control lol

I'm 64, and very rarely get up in the middle of the night for a wee. It isn't that unusual not to need to loo in the middle of the night.

I would be out of there. Your "friend" is a rude idiot. She clearly doesn't want you there if she's made you feel unwelcome over something that is totally normal. I'd be telling your DS why and going.

🤣

You didn't use her en suite did you?

That's nuts. Do the whole family have to hold it in till morning? What time in the morning are they allowed to use the toilet? Wondering what the mum does about her periods, does she just leak to avoid using the loo at night?

We have noisy plumbing so do ask guests to not flush if they're just peeing, but, if you need to go, you need to go.

Your friend is ridiculous and unkind to have mentioned it. It's a natural function. Periods make it even trickier for women at time. And people generally need the toilet more in the night as they get older as well. What are her plans as she ages?

What a cow.

Your friend is being unreasonable in this instance. There are of course reasons why people need to go in the night and they shouldn’t be policed.

However, my mum used to always complain of going multiple times a night and not sleeping properly. When she last came to stay I realised the issue - she drinks Diet Coke and coffee all day, right up until bedtime. I suggested she cut the caffeine after 4pm and no big drinks in the hour before bed and she only went once in the night and said she had the best sleep in ages! Seemed like common sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

This isn’t funny OP. It’s controlling, do you regularly find yourself in controlling relationships?

Period or no period you’re allowed to go for a wee when you want!!!

Gosh your friend sounds awful OP. How can she expect you to hold it… when you gotta go you gotta go!! Holding it can cause troubles. Would she rather you had a wee in the bed? This is truly baffling.

So I wonder whether it’s that you went or that you were louder than necessary. Flush is needed regardless even though it’s noisy but how the door was closed, whether the tap was full blast and noisy and whether your steps to the bathroom were heavy etc would potentially be reasonable annoyances. If she raised it in front of teenagers was it definitely about your trip not theirs?

Could the batshit 'friend' be doing it just out of spite?

crazy! That would be torture if you need a wee.

My SIL has a similar rule but flags it up: you’re welcome to come and stay so long as you don’t use the bathroom in the night. Makes it very easy for me to decline a visit.

Your friend's obviously never heard of menopause / perimenopause!

I was up 3 times to wee in the night last night. And no, I definitely can't hold it in!

Your friend is totally out of order!

She's nuts. Absolutely ridiculous.
You shouldn't have to explain you are on your period. It's actually irrelevant. If you need a wee in the night you need to go, period or no period. The period just makes it more likely you might need to get up and change sanitary protection but it shouldn't matter why you need to use the loo, you need to use it. End of.
I'd just ignore her nonsense and never stay with her again.
Can you leave a day early, depending on when exactly the event is?

And she brought it up in front of 3 teenage boys? Is she generally so tactless and inhospitable?

I wouldn't want to wish ill luck on anyone's bladder, but it is rare woman who manages to go through life without needing to wee at night.

Pee the bed and tell her you’re sorry but apparently it’s bad form to go the toilet in the night.