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Original poster

Wee in the night as a house guest

162 replies

TimeSlipMushroom · 17/06/2023 09:37

Currently staying the weekend with friends to attend an event away from home.

I needed a wee in the night and friend has made it very clear that she's not very happy and thinks it's bad form. Apparently people can hold it in. (I was a quiet as possible but did put a light on and flush the loo due to time of the month)

Now feeling anxious about tonight which will probably make me need a wee even more!

I hate confrontation but don't know what to do. Advice/hints/perspective please

OP posts:
cocoloco117 · 17/06/2023 11:51

Bonbon21 · 17/06/2023 09:45

I be peeing as loud and as often as possible tonight and if she comments in the morning tell her just how bad a host she is to make her guest feel so uncomfortable. Send her some ear plugs when you get home.. suggest where she can put them.

Indeed. Scoff some baked beans and blast a few raucous farts while you’re at it.

Muu · 17/06/2023 11:52

Bad host to bring that up

Whataretheodds · 17/06/2023 11:53

RampantIvy · 17/06/2023 10:09

Your friend is mental, though I'm impressed with her bladder control lol

I'm 64, and very rarely get up in the middle of the night for a wee. It isn't that unusual not to need to loo in the middle of the night.

But it's quite unusual and unnecessary to police people who do.

Topseyt123 · 17/06/2023 11:54

Your "friend" is ridiculous and I would personally have had no problems telling her so. I wouldn't even care if I was in her house or not.

I would tell her that as an overnight guest I would go to the toilet as and when I needed to in order to avoid soiled bedding. In front of her teenage boys (or were they yours) if necessary.

If she couldn't accept that then I'd cancel my attendance at the event, no matter what it was, and go home.

She's clearly not much of a friend.

Veryverycalmnow · 17/06/2023 11:55

I couldn't stay there! I get up for weeks in the night and can't hold it! What a horrible person.

WotNoUserName · 17/06/2023 11:56

Wtf! I usually sleep through without needing a wee, but when I need to go I need to go (usually have those dreams about needing to go and all the toilets being horrible or in view of others, then wake up and rush to the loo!) And when I have my period on my heaviest days I can need to go several times in the night, ugh.

She's bizarre, and a rude host.

mondaytosunday · 17/06/2023 11:56

Madness. I think I once went to the downstairs loo when staying in a house as the toilet was right next to my hosts bedroom. And I always wonder about flushing!
Your host is being completely unreasonable.

gamerchick · 17/06/2023 11:56

Ignore her and don't stay with her again. Ridiculous.

Whataretheodds · 17/06/2023 11:57

I hate confrontation but don't know what to do. Advice/hints/perspective please

"Hey <batshit friend>, I'm not able to commit to not using the toilet in the middle of the night. If you prefer me not to flush I can do that, but if it's going to be an issue and you prefer we leave today then please say."

Deathraystare · 17/06/2023 11:57

Glad she is not my friend! She would have something to moan about. I pee about 3 x night (on medication and water tablet).

butterpuffed · 17/06/2023 11:58

You need to stand up for yourself , your so called friend is spiteful . Tell her she's made you feel uncomfortable as going to the loo in the night is normal for many and holding it in isn't healthy .

greentrainx · 17/06/2023 11:59

TimeSlipMushroom · 17/06/2023 09:37

Currently staying the weekend with friends to attend an event away from home.

I needed a wee in the night and friend has made it very clear that she's not very happy and thinks it's bad form. Apparently people can hold it in. (I was a quiet as possible but did put a light on and flush the loo due to time of the month)

Now feeling anxious about tonight which will probably make me need a wee even more!

I hate confrontation but don't know what to do. Advice/hints/perspective please

I would go home.
That is weird.

greentrainx · 17/06/2023 12:01

TimeSlipMushroom · 17/06/2023 09:48

Wow! I was expecting to be told I am unreasonable not get unanimous support. I have a skewed sense of what's reasonable sometimes due to previous bad relationships.

Can't book in anywhere sadly due to everywhere being booked up due to the local event and am short on money and transport. Besides Ds would be really sad to leave his friends and it would be very awkward with friend.

I haven't explained to friend about being on my period as there were 3 teenage boys present and even though they obviously know about periods I didn't want to cause an awkward scene

Might not reply for a bit as getting ready to go to event. (Hopefully lots of loos there!!)

Did they expect you to just wee in the bed.
Absolutely bizarre.
Definitely would go home as I find your friends behaviour rude and unwelcoming.

Moveoverdarlin · 17/06/2023 12:05

If she offers you a drink later say ‘well I would but I’m paranoid about needing a wee in the night now!’ Then laugh.

standardduck · 17/06/2023 12:05

Wow, she is incredibly rude and a bad host. I would be tempted to leave early and not stay with her ever again.

I can't imagine having someone over and telling them when they can and can't use the loo.

PriamFarrl · 17/06/2023 12:07

I’ve had a friend ask if we’d mind not flushing in the night as it wakes the baby, but not to not go at all.

Hazelnuttella · 17/06/2023 12:07

She actually brought this up? In front of 3 teenage boys. That’s insane. Very rude and inhospitable.

I always wee in the night. I can’t just hold it in, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

FabFitFifties · 17/06/2023 12:10

I wouldn't stay again - and she would drop significantly down in my estimations. The boys hearing this wasn't great either. Plus, whilst it's unlikely, what if the boys need a wee?

FernGully43 · 17/06/2023 12:11

Your friend is an actual weirdo😆

PuppyMonkey · 17/06/2023 12:16

I’d say lol, and make it clear you think she must be joking and carry on as you were.

MrsRachelDanvers · 17/06/2023 12:18

If someone is ‘groaning with effort’, they really need to see a doctor!

JandalsAlways · 17/06/2023 12:18

Go stay in a hotel. Or if you're desperate pee in a bowl/bottle/cup. Friend is BU to tell you to hold it

MrsRachelDanvers · 17/06/2023 12:19

But I’d be horrified at myself if I were to be so rude to a guest-the host’s duty is to make their guests feel at home. What do they expect you to do? Rubbish behaviour.

starlightmagic · 17/06/2023 12:22

if The event happens to be the Isle of Wight festival we are very close and would happily put you up, I always need at least one wee a night 😅

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 17/06/2023 12:22

Stay in a hotel, your friend sounds bonkers

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