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Original poster

To think its pretty poor form, childs party

219 replies

Legaldrama · 14/06/2023 20:38

I'm on the WhatsApp group for ds's nursery class, 16 children. There's been a party today for one of the children that it seems only ds wasn't invited to. The mothers are all sending thanks for a great party etc.

Ds is a sweet boy and plays nicely with the other dc according to his teacher, they run up and hug in thr morning etc, I can't see any reason why he's not been invited.

It stings that they are using the group to share thanks, when ds wasn't invited, surely its more discreet to send individual messages, as the invite wasn't sent on the WhatsApp. I know not all dc can be invited to everything, but to exclude just one seems so mean.

OP posts:
ArgosKettle · 14/06/2023 20:50

That is really mean...I would say you could either; 1) remove yourself from the group; but dont do so if you rely on it to keep up to date with school events, 2) Mute the group so you dont have to see/ hear about the party or 3) Block the parent who arranged the party and invited everyone but your child.

SweetSakura · 14/06/2023 20:53

You might have just missed the invite for some reason?

Jules912 · 14/06/2023 20:54

If the invite wasn't on WhatsApp is it possible DS's went missing somewhere along the way? They do tend to get buried in bottoms of bags/trays etc.

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NuffSaidSam · 14/06/2023 20:56

Unless every other parent at this nursery is a lunatic, chances are your invite went missing somewhere.

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 14/06/2023 20:58

That really seems really awful. I think you should have a private word with the mum. Surely, surely there has been a mishap here. 💐

mumyes · 14/06/2023 21:00

Surely he was invited & you missed the invite.

Have you a close friend who could enquire with the parents on your behalf? "Oh, could NAME not make it?"

Original poster
Legaldrama · 14/06/2023 21:02

There's been no chat about the party in the WhatsApp, no RSVP's or chasing for dietary requirements etc, so it's been done somewhere else. It seems the first mother forgot herself and sent party thanks on the main group and the others followed suit.

I feel unreasonably upset and want to poke the mother in the eye with a sharp stick at drop off tomorrow 😡

OP posts:
SomethingNastyInTheGenePool · 14/06/2023 21:05

If your DS is happy and has friends at nursery, I really wouldn’t assume that this was deliberate. Could you ask one of the teachers?

Chattermax · 14/06/2023 21:06

After I'd finished being upset/annoyed I think I'd message 'oh I didn't realise xx had had their birthday! Hope they had a fabulous time celebrating 🥳' keep it light and friendly and Id be surprised if birthday mum didn't reply saying your invitation must've been lost

2bazookas · 14/06/2023 21:08

There's been no chat about the party in the WhatsApp, no RSVP's or chasing for dietary requirements etc, so it's been done somewhere else

As others have suggested, probably there were paper party-card invitations and yours got lost. The responses from invitees, would be by phone or text. That's why you saw nothing.

pimplebum · 14/06/2023 21:08

I would get my facts straight first before any action

Things I would do is ask another mum how the invites went out

Ask the room manager how invites went out and if any issues between the boys

Either private message birthday mum and ask if any issues between boys and tell her she she asks why you ask

I once invited every girl bar one and it was a total oversight just didn't think . It was a house party so I only wanted 10 max ( daughter didn't want less) soo invited 14 just my going through my phone and got 10, perfect I thought.... weeks later looked at official class list and realised what I had done really really hope girls didn't talk so much that missed child realised. 😳 I was upset

ChateauMargaux · 14/06/2023 21:09

Why does everyone assume that it must have been a mistake - it will have been painfully obvious at the party that mini legal was not there.. why should legal be all 'bright and breezy'...

Legal - you have a right to feel hurt, angry, upset.. I have no answers.. but sending you a hug.

Newuser75 · 14/06/2023 21:10

Jules912 · 14/06/2023 20:54

If the invite wasn't on WhatsApp is it possible DS's went missing somewhere along the way? They do tend to get buried in bottoms of bags/trays etc.

Yes, I'd bet it was this!

Primrosefrill · 14/06/2023 21:11

Rude.

Even if she had sent invite but it was lost, she’s rude for not checking with you. I would private message her personally, but I would just have to make my point or at least find out why not invited.

Primrosefrill · 14/06/2023 21:12

Ps are you absolutely sure your dc was the only one not invited - out if 16?

Treacletoots · 14/06/2023 21:13

It's shit OP. That's the crux of it. Its wanky aresehold parents playing "King making" and choosing their child's social circle.

Don't worry, kids tend to ignore their parents very quickly. Just recently my DC came home today and said "x child's mummy told her not to play with her" but she did anyway.

No idea what DC did to receive the parents wrath but rest assured the kids take fuck all notice.

Some parents on the other hand...

pimplebum · 14/06/2023 21:15

chatauxmargot*

Why on earth would it be " painfully obvious " I've been to lots of. Kids parties and not taken a register or commented on who is or isn't there / invited I assume if a child is not there they are ill/ busy elsewhere or not a close friend or cut from the list due to budget restraints

Please get proper intel before acting like a reactionary loon

FernGully43 · 14/06/2023 21:17

"oh I didn't know it was Billy Bob's birthday, hope he had a great party"
Or mute the chat

Rogue1001MNer · 14/06/2023 21:17

I would assume post of the people posting their thanks either didn't notice your DS wasn't there or assumed you/he was busy.

I'm sure there's no spiteful desire to hurt or upset you

pimplebum · 14/06/2023 21:18

16 kids us a pretty big nursery party ours are usually less, especially if soft play type of expense

How do you know all 16 were there?

Anissue · 14/06/2023 21:21

Ignore it OP, mute it if you need to.
The other parents maybe had no idea your DS wasn’t invited.
If every single other person in the nursery was invited it’s a bit shit but it’s over now, what can you do about it?

Oblomov23 · 14/06/2023 21:22

No wonder you are hurt. What are you going to do?

Pinkbasketcase · 14/06/2023 21:23

A different view, sorry. Yes, it is may feel rude. But that's your feeling not your childs. They're probably unbothered by it. Even if he is the only one that wasn't invited. The person throwing the party can invite anyone they wish too.

This person is not responsible for your feelings towards not getting an invite. Your response is your own. Responding in way that's equal rude is petty snf childish.

Maybe she just didn't want your child there (harsh I know). But not every child needs to or will be included. Resilience is a strength. As your child gets older they will develop their own group of friends who will include them.

NerrSnerr · 14/06/2023 21:27

Are you sure all the others were invited? Have all 14 other parents replied 'thanks for the party' or similar?

I did make a mistake when my eldest was at nursery and found the invitation of one girl in the footwell of my car about 2 months after the party.

Puckthemagicdragon · 14/06/2023 21:27

"Sounds like a lovely party. So sorry to have missed it, I must have missed the invite! Were they in the bags? Happy birthday to little xxxxx"

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