To think its pretty poor form, childs party

[Legaldrama]

I'm on the WhatsApp group for ds's nursery class, 16 children. There's been a party today for one of the children that it seems only ds wasn't invited to. The mothers are all sending thanks for a great party etc.

Ds is a sweet boy and plays nicely with the other dc according to his teacher, they run up and hug in thr morning etc, I can't see any reason why he's not been invited.

It stings that they are using the group to share thanks, when ds wasn't invited, surely its more discreet to send individual messages, as the invite wasn't sent on the WhatsApp. I know not all dc can be invited to everything, but to exclude just one seems so mean.

I'd send this. She either has to reply or looks really rude ignoring you.

I couldn't get worked up about this. It's a nursery aged kids party, not your best friends wedding.

It's most likely your invite was mislaid, but if you want to do something about it, then by all means ask the mum, calm and polite, if your child has upset her child, as you felt it was quite strange every other child but yours was invited.

But I'd leave it.

It seems very unlikely all but 1 child from a nursery group were invited to a party. Just say "sorry we must have missed the invite on this one, hope ** had a lovely party". Better to call someone out on it subtly than quietly seeth.

It's nursery. I doubt your child will be aware or bothered. Don't make it into a bigger thing than you need to.

Don’t send a message, you will look insane and so rude if you weren’t invited. If I was another parent seeing you send a weird message I then wouldn’t invite to my own child’s party as I wouldn’t want to deal with the drama.

Id say nothing at all. Your child won’t be invited to all the parties all the time. When it’s their birthday they get to decide who they want there.

I really, really can't imagine they'd exclude one child, especially at nursery age. The overwhelming liklihood is that the invite went missing. I know when we handed them out for my daughter's party, i didn't chase anyone after sending them out. If someone didn't receive their invitation i wouldn't have even known! Equally we have been invited to parties and missed invitations somehow, it happens. I really wouldn't jump to conclusions.

This is also why we absolutely don’t do parties for our child. I couldn’t be dealing with parents getting personally offended if their child wasn’t invited, especially if you yourself have no made effort to invite party child anywhere!

We had something similar when dd started pre-school.

it was particularly upsetting as dd has asd so we thought she was deliberately left out.

Turns out we didn’t realise there was a class WhatsApp group, and there was a party bag waiting for dd on her hook at school. She’s been invited to every party since.

Find out the facts first, but chances are it’s a misunderstanding.

if all the others were invited and only your child missed out then that’s pretty crappy but it could have been and oversight/mistake or it might just seem that all the other parents are responding on the chat but maybe others were not invited? If there are no issues with the other child/mum then maybe it was just down to numbers? Do you have a mum friend in the group that you could discuss this with privately?

My darling son has left party invites in his tray before, he gave me two when he’d cleared his tray out and we had missed both parties. This could be the case with your child. I always get him to check his tray now and he puts any invites straight into his book bag as he loves partys and was quite gutted at missing them. I wouldn’t assume you weren’t invited, the other parent could also be assuming you’re rude as you didn’t reply ! So I would make sure first before thinking this. Or it could be there was only a certain amount of spaces, to be honest after awhile you will be glad for less invites as it becomes annoying taking them to party’s in the middle of the day on a weekend!

It is def worth sorting out - the birthday child’s mum might be wondering why you never bothered to reply. If they really did deliberately miss out 1 child, then yes that’s v mean and I would never allow my dc to do that

Bless you it is very upsetting when you’re missed out of a party. When my DD is missed out I usually take her somewhere fun. Makes me not feel so bitter lol 😂 it still happens in primary school but I’ve gotten used to it by now. I just think no meither of present or giving up our weekend time x

Just reply, ‘happy birthday’. Don’t be passive aggressive by saying that you must of missed it or he will likely never be invited to other parties either.

I cant get worked up about nursery parties. I always dropped and ran. I had no clue who the parents were and my kids didn't go to any of the birthday parties they were invited to. Save all this stress for school when your kid will be with the same kids for 7 years straight.

If invite wasn’t on group chat and absolutely every other kid invited I’d assume paper invite and yours was lost.

I think id be tempted to just "like" a couple of the messages about the party, maybe the main mum and some of thr replies. Simple, not ott and makes it clear you've noted the contents

Most likely the invitation went missing. Not inviting one child out of 16 is awful if that’s what really happened.

We had families that didn’t rsvp to my DD party and didn’t come. I’ve no idea if they received the invite or not. I had enough to deal with already without chasing up someone I don’t know. We don’t have a what’s app group or anything though so it’s all paper invites in trays or bottom of school bags and they can definitely get lost.

My DD was hysterical one night age 4 because she lost the invitation to a classmates party somewhere between leaving school and getting home. Fortunately I know the mum (small school!) so just texted for details. My DS on the other hand would’ve probably forgotten all about it and I’d have never known.

I think I'd message 'oh I didn't realise xx had had their birthday! Hope they had a fabulous time

That. I think it's extremely unlikely that your DC was left out deliberately. Maybe he wasn't at nursery the day the invitations went out, and the staff forgot to give him it when he returned.

Generally in life, malice is rare and cock-ups very very common.

This - go high

It's likely his invitation was lost in the depths of his book bag or dropped somewhere. If he's been intentionally missed out then that's bad but are you 100% sure that every other child was invited? Don't send a message as it comes across rude. You can't just assume you're invited to parties and demand explanations if you're not, even if it is poor form for them to leave one child out. I'd let it go on this occasion.

Don’t message the Mum with these suggestions of ‘Oh I didn’t realise it was little Johnny’s birthday’. Sounds brutal but she may have just not invited you, although like others have said it’s probably just a lost invite. Just hold your head high and ignore it. It’s more awkward for her than it is you.

Suck it up and forget it. You've only found out about this party by accident. You didn't get an invite to someone's party and you've no idea as to why. It could be for any reason. It doesn't matter.

It stings, I know. I have to remind myself of how inconsequential stuff like this is when it happens my way. X

In these circumstances the party mum probably thinks you’re rude for not responding to the invitation! Definitely have a chat with the party mum to clear up any misunderstandings.

The other mum might be wondering why mini Legaldrama never replied to the invitation

Isn't there an adage that goes something like 'Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be attributed to stupidity'? In this case the stupidity could be the parents forgetting, your son or you missing the invite, the child being adamant that your child does like them or many other reasons.