Middle class, aspirational parenting. Why is it loathed on mumsnet?

[Moonandstarz]

Why is aspirational parenting slagged off on mumsnet so much? Surely every child deserves at least one person who will push & advocate for them? Would the country not be in a much better place if all parents were slightly or a lot pushier for their dc?

Of course If we could choose then have as many choirs, audition or otherwise.
But in a resource constrained situation I'd pick audition over the rest. With quotas for underprivileged kids. You can tell potential from an untrained voice.

If you want to start comparing opportunities you go down a slippery slope. You still need to practice regardless of choir so poor girl in your example is unlikely to improve anyway if choir time is all she gets. What about kids whose parents CBA to bring them etc etc.

Unless they have committed parents the only way you will get this equality is to remove them and put them in a boarding school....

ShoesoftheWorld
It certainly wasn't intended for that to seem like I thought that was your position. I thought we were still discussing the range of views that have come up on the topic. Sorry if it came across that way. It wasn't my intention.

Your post about voluntourism is spot on by the way.

" "moral crusade" perfect description! Sums some of the posters up perfectly"

AKA wanting to live in a fair society. Because that's best for that society at large and for the individuals that make it up
I'd love a fair society CurlewKate. I'll happily use my vote and campaign, and help other parents get informed, and share information in relevant groups and volunteer.
But I won't deliberately give my children a worse deal whilst so I can pat myself on the back for falling into a purity spiral.

Why is it my job as an individual to make sure my children have worse educational experiences, fewer interesting experiences, less enrichment opportunities, limited help with their homework, a low literacy household etc in order to address systemic failings caused by a tiny minority of people with a lot of money and influence systemically failing many families?

I'm all for getting annoyed at the system, but it's crappy for middle of the road parents to start pointing the finger at Alice down the road for having a tutor for their struggling child or David for taking his son to cricket because a different child 20 minutes down the road is affected by the shocking intergenerational impact of public policy.

@LolaSmiles completely. My children won't miss out just because some parents can't be arsed or can't afford to send their dc places.
My child is my responsibility & her education is my responsibility. Parents are their child's primary educator. The system is what it is, it's shit but it's my job to ensure my children thrive with the time & resources I can provide.
I have no time, money or inclination to go sticking my oar in to other families business, that's what the authorities are for.
I do my bit for the school in the PTA, I attend the meetings & do what's asked of me. I carpool for activities but that is all still benefiting my children. I wouldn't do it otherwise.

LolaSmiles - no worries, I misunderstood.

two girls, decent but not brilliant singers, don't get in on audition. The parents of one can afford singing lessons, so off she goes and has them and gets in next time. The other's parents can't, so she tries to sing at home (when the sibling she shares her room with isn't telling her to shut up because she needs to concentrate on her homework) but can't teach herself technique and doesn't get in on the next audition either. A non-auditioning choir would give her that opportunity - and maybe she'll get very good as her voice and musicality mature. The girl with the lessons shouldn't not have that opportunity - it isn't (or shouldn't be) one or the other - but everyone should have the opportunity to develop and blossom without having to be naturally brilliant

Good example. Absolutely agree and can be applied to so many areas. In addition the poor person has to be either exceptionally naturally talented, and lucky enough to have had the right guidance, to secure funding and scholarships. I was quoted £75.00 for a private lesson recently - one hour. Top end teacher, but not many will be able to afford that, those who do afford these lessons are getting into prestigious establishments.

Yes, I believe they have got it wrong in this case. The girl isn't even technically good enough to make it in that field, sad to say, and it's such a competitive one.

@nevessarynamechange i haven't been following but if it is ballet yes it's highly competitive & so hard. There used to be lots of opportunity to travel during the summer , I went to school with a girl who went to St Petersburg & Perm in Russia every year to train at academies there. She loved it & said travelling in Russia & experiencing the rich culture was wonderful.. Obviously now with the war those opportunities to travel to Russia won't be happening..