Would I be a horrid person not to donate?

[TwittleTwafdle]

I used to be good friends with a work colleague. Then something happened (she cocked up, tried to remedy it and failed) and she threw me and a few others under the bus. I've never forgiven her. I moved job because of her. Never spoken since. It worked out ok for me but could have very seriously damaged my career.

Three years on, she has sent a personalised plea asking for money through one of the giving websites. Her eldest DD is horribly unwell and they are seeking treatment abroad.

Would you donate? DH says I'd be mad to do so. Given the circs (he saw the awful stress caused) and I should make a general donation to a relevant charity if I feel I should do something.

I would but just a fiver or something (depending on your income/budget.)

No way in HELL I would have given. I bet her daughter is not even ill. I know someone who has a 20 y.o. son who tried to raise money for him on 'just giving,' as he said he had a certain illness/condition. (Won't say what on here.) Long story short, it turned out he was bullshitting, and raised £3K for himself and his wife, and they spent it on a holiday abroad, and a PS5 and other random shit. Utterly shameless.

I wouldn't have donated. Arses like this carry on being arses because they don't get consequences for their actions. No money wold have been a due consequence. If she'd apologised I'd have donated a nominal amount and then blocked her.

Glad you donated anonymously.

Sad as it is I'd only donate to people I knew and knew they were telling the truth. Even genuine fundraisers often the money mysteriously disappears.

@TeaParty4Me · Today 15:49

It’s pretty easier to tell what sort a person certain posters are when they say things like no I wouldn’t donate as because she hadn’t even apologised etc.

I just hope their children never get so sick that the NHS can’t treat them for free.

What a nasty manipulative post. Shame on you.

Or she is a CF who wants people to donate despite her potentially having caused a bunch of peolpe lose their jobs and have repercussions for the rest of their lives without acknowledging. Not everyone has remorse and maybe she does not see this as humuliating, but trying to squeeze out everyone she knows.
If I was her, Id starte with a profuse apology to begin with.

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/may/25/medecins-sans-frontieres-condemned-for-profiting-from-exploitative-images

Donate to a charity of your choice instead of donating to her. That is what I would do.

Kama will bite them on the arse hopefully! Be careful what they wish for...

I don't donate to any 'just giving' sites. I don't trust any of them.

There are probably currently loads of other fundraising appeals from people in similar circumstances, so I wouldn't donate to hers over and above any of them. I'd also be wary it could be a scam, especially since you already know she's dishonest.

A child is seriously ill and you think a laughing emoji is appropriate? Fucking hell, I'm not exactly part of the "be kind" mob but that is fucking disgusting.

@EbonyRaven

Touched a nerve?

This 100% .

Yes I do donate to global children’s charities and used to work for one.

I also volunteer for a DV charity and animal charity in the UK.
I don’t only donate my time or money to specific individuals depending on how they’ve treated me.

If everyone only donated / volunteered for things that directly affects them then most of the world would get no help at all.

If you wouldn’t donate even £1 to potentially save someone’s life just because you have a grudge, even though you could easily afford it, then that does not make you a nice person.

I hope if my child was poorly the people that could afford it would donate a couple of pound to potentially save her life.

Is there actual proof the dc is sick though? There are so many scams out there and some poeple are so gullible.

I just hope their children never get so sick that the NHS can’t treat them for free

Pretty safe there because I don't have children. Any comment you want to make on that?

And I find that when people say 'I just hope that x doesn't happen to you' what they mean is 'I really hope it does.'

*Lol at the idea that you ‘know’ a treatment works.

Thats not how medicine works*

Sorry, I was under the impression that these treatments and medicine generally are to stop people dying, or at least from dying right now and with any luck to make them better. Do I have that wrong?

Bows and thanks you.

Cannot afford to donate to every charity out there or would have no money left! I have my own personal chosen charities I donate to, nothing else.

There are unfortunately thousands of children that are very sick. Why would you help this one specifically since you’re not in good terms with the parents?
I agree with your DH, just donate to Ormond street or similar charity if you feel guilty, that way you’re helping more children.

I'd donate, all people have capacity to be shitty but I'd be rooting for her daughter and I would want to help if I could.

If you wouldn’t donate even £1 to potentially save someone’s life just because you have a grudge, even though you could easily afford it, then that does not make you a nice person

I can easily afford to donate to a lot of things, but I feel absolutely no need to do so because the charity well is bottomless. Exactly how much do you think people should be pouring into demands for donations just because they can afford it?

And as for not being a nice person - I can live with you thinking that about me.

That's my thinking too.

I'd donate to a recognised charity for the disease instead.

What a horrible thing to say!

I would never wish that upon anyone which is pretty obvious considering I’m saying I’d donate a couple of pound to this girl in her situation because it’s an awful thing she’s going through.