To stay in the UK or move to Oz

[Unsure05]

DH and I are so on the fence here so we need some random strangers on the internets opinions please 😅 we have to DD (nearly 3 and 12 weeks old) and we have an opportunity to move to Australia. I have family in Melbourne and have been a few times and known from a young age I’d love to travel round or experience living there. DH has never been but has always wanted to visit and would be happy to move and try it if that’s what we decide. His job is on the skilled occupation list but until we go further with the migration agent we’ve chatted to we won’t know what are of Australia we could potentially move to but we don’t really mind either way.

Our issue here is that we just can’t get over the guilt of leaving our families here. Mine and DH parents are here and my sister and her DD. We see the grandparents every few weeks and our daughter loves her cousin. We just have never felt settled in the UK and know we would love the Aussie way of life. Plus with everything just going downhill in the UK it’s not getting much better and we aren’t bothered about staying, it would only be for family. But that’s a big thing! Financially we only really have this big move in us or buy a house here. Also need to add that the last time my mum went to visit her sister in Oz she said it would maybe be one of the last times she could do the trip with how long and gruelling it can be. My dad would probably not be able to do it and my DHs dad would defiantly not as he’s not very well so it would be down to us to come see them and it’s so expensive so we would hardly see them I think! I’m just so torn! What would you guys do?

[HomeB]

"I am not your "mate". Neither am I being stupid or offensive, this isn't my first mumsnet rodeo of Australia-bashing or NZ-bashing. And I don't know where in Canada you think you can get to in 5 hours, now that the Concorde is gone. The distances within Australia are big. The distances FROM many parts of Australia to other countries are much smaller."

Halifax, Nova Scotia. My flight into Manchester was 5 hours 40 minutes. HTH

Not on Concorde I might add 🤣. It took a similar time for me to fly from Cairns to Perth and Perth to Singapore and that's the whole fucking point.

People were explaining how Australia is isolated in comparison to the UK and that this applies to all cities and areas. You pop up screaming "bullshit" and when your sketchy geography is questioned start calling me a fucking racist.

"I am not your mate" 😂

[Sunflowers80]

@Savvy25

As an aussie, things are going downhill in Australia too. Cost of living, interest rates, groceries etc.. I think without much family support over here, the grass will not be greener. Especially once kids in school and aging family back in UK.

Take note ,it's not just UK as I've heard the Same about OZ

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

My sister moved to Australia 25 years ago and was shocked at the overt racism there compared with the UK.

However, sadly I think the UK is more overtly racist now than it was 25 years ago. People openly talk about migrants negatively and propound myths around illegal immigration.

I mix mainly with people who would never consider themselves to be racist and yet many of them will use derogatory language about Travellers.

I don't think the UK can claim the moral.high ground over Australia when it comes to racism.

[CallItLoneliness]

@HoppingPavlova

I am not your "mate"

There is always one in every circus. Generally, exactly the same type that goes off their tree when you say ‘no worries’, which to us means about 10 different things and we know exactly which depending on the context of the situation, but they don’t have that inherent understanding and will screech ‘but there is a problem/don’t tell me no worries’ etc.

I am not HomeB's mate in any sense of the word, nor would I be anyone's mate who called me stupid (calling me offensive is actually fine, if I have offended someone I would rather know). Indeed, HomeB was going out of their way to offend me. But sure, I'm the one with the problem....

[HoppingPavlova]

@CallItLoneliness It doesn’t mean someone is literally your mate 😂. You would say ‘thanks mate’ to a complete random stranger who picks up something you dropped for instance. You don’t know them, they don’t know you, it’s just what you say. If you want to catch someone’s attention, you call out ‘hey, mate’, again you don’t know them from a bar of soap, they are not literally your mate. You don’t seem to have a grasp on this. Hopefully we never cross paths with ‘no worries’ or indeed ‘no worries, mate’🤣.

[HomeB]

Mate, I didn't think I actually knew you in real life 😅

Sorry if calling you stupid upset you, but I do think it's pretty stupid to scream bullshit when somebody simply says Australia is more remote than the UK and that it might be a concern if OP likes to travel a lot.

[CallItLoneliness]

@HoppingPavlova I am well aware of the culture, but saying "you're stupid, mate" would not be well received by anyone Aussie or Kiwi that I know, and "I'm not your mate" would be a pretty normal response. Perhaps you don't know the culture as well as you think you do? Also, I would point out that there is a fair bit of ableism in your response, too. I was going to leave it, but since you've doubled down on how much of a pain in the arse people who don't understand subtext are, it seems necessary to point it out.

@HomeB this is a really common trope on "should I move to Australia?" threads. "Australia is remote" is a racist dogwhistle for "no culture outside Europe". It's also pretty bloody London-centric. With travel related friction, Glasgow is 5+ hours from most of Europe (and has well over a million inhabitants). Aberdeen is even further. I've not heard anyone claim Glasgow is remote though, nor Aberdeen when folks are talking about moving there.

[NightCzar]

I have to say, it's very rarely to be too hot to be outdoors ever in summer. Aussies just go out early, come inside in the middle of the day and go out again later.

In Sydney there'd be very few days where you didn't go out at all. Maybe 2-3 per year. You acclimatise.

[JamSandle]

@CallItLoneliness

@HoppingPavlova I am well aware of the culture, but saying "you're stupid, mate" would not be well received by anyone Aussie or Kiwi that I know, and "I'm not your mate" would be a pretty normal response. Perhaps you don't know the culture as well as you think you do? Also, I would point out that there is a fair bit of ableism in your response, too. I was going to leave it, but since you've doubled down on how much of a pain in the arse people who don't understand subtext are, it seems necessary to point it out.

@HomeB this is a really common trope on "should I move to Australia?" threads. "Australia is remote" is a racist dogwhistle for "no culture outside Europe". It's also pretty bloody London-centric. With travel related friction, Glasgow is 5+ hours from most of Europe (and has well over a million inhabitants). Aberdeen is even further. I've not heard anyone claim Glasgow is remote though, nor Aberdeen when folks are talking about moving there.

I dont think anyone is saying there's no culture outside of Europe?

Europe is a very concentrated area with quite big differences across a small area. It doesn't mean there's nothing worth seeing anywhere else.

Having lived in NZ and Australi they can feel remote sometimes but there's a lot worth exploring there too.

[Codlingmoths]

People do say there’s no culture outside Europe actually 😂

[HoppingPavlova]

@CallItLoneliness Fuck. Me.
Born, bred and several decades later (not young and definitely wrong side of middle age), I have a pretty good knowledge of our culture thanks. I don’t claim familiarity with Kiwi culture though as I was not born/bred there and have not lived there. From decades of interactions with Kiwi’s here we do have substantial differences though ‘hey, cuz’ 🤣.

but saying "you're stupid, mate" would not be well received by anyone Aussie or Kiwi that I know, and "I'm not your mate" would be a pretty normal response

Wasn’t actually what was said to you by the poster btw so no idea what you are quoting. However, if someone actually said that, not one Aussie in existence would retort with ‘I’m not your mate’. Let’s face it, everyone would die laughing or cringe to death for them. If offended, every Aussie would instead respond with ‘Get fucked’. Whilst I am not a Kiwi, in my experience they never say ‘I’m not your mate’ either as a stunning retort, it would most likely be ‘Get fucked, you c*’. You are welcome.

[Crikeyalmighty]

Think hard on this- housing is a major challenge unless you are on seriously big bucks. I have some friends there on good money and even then are having to live 40 miles out the city in a bit of a backwater. - and no their home isn't amazing and no they don't have a pool etc. they are lucky enough to have one set of grandparents who live within a few hours and the UK ones are well off enough and well enough to go every other year.

[HomeB]

"Australia is remote" is a racist dogwhistle for "no culture outside Europe". It's also pretty bloody London-centric. With travel related friction, Glasgow is 5+ hours from most of Europe (and has well over a million inhabitants)."

What utter rubbish. I don't fly out of London because I live nearer Glasgow. In under 5 hours you can be everywhere in Europe from Glasgow. The furthest fucking reaches of Greece, Lithuania, all the way to turkey.

You're desperate to prove your point but I'm not racist. So you're wrong. I pointed out a geographical fact. A fact. You said Singapore is close to Perth, mate, it's fucking not.

Many people here fly regularly for weekend breaks to cities and beach destinations alike. There is post after post on this thread from people who live in Australia saying the time and cost of travel is prohibitive due to the BIG distances. Therefore, they tend to stay local.

That is a consideration for anyone to make before emigrating. For the last time (hopefully ffs) It's not racism, it's geography.

[JamSandle]

@Codlingmoths

People do say there’s no culture outside Europe actually 😂

Which people?

[CallItLoneliness]

@HoppingPavlova you're not Kiwi. You're also not 'every Australian'. Maybe in your experience 'I'm not your mate' isn't common. In mine it is, especially in contexts where 'get fucked' is inappropriate. I find it super odd that you are so invested in shaming me (not working BTW) for a reaction you personally don't like though. Why is that?

[Unsure05]

Hello! I appreciate all the advice on this post! But can we not use it for arguing now please my inbox isn’t loving it 😅 thanks

[Aslanplustwo]

@CallItLoneliness

@HoppingPavlova you're not Kiwi. You're also not 'every Australian'. Maybe in your experience 'I'm not your mate' isn't common. In mine it is, especially in contexts where 'get fucked' is inappropriate. I find it super odd that you are so invested in shaming me (not working BTW) for a reaction you personally don't like though. Why is that?

Yep, I'm from that part of the world and I've heard people say it.

[HoppingPavlova]

Not shaming you, if that’s how you interpret, your problem, not mine. No, not Kiwi, thought I made that entirely clear? Also, not ‘every Australian’, correct ad we are not The Borg. However, in addition to a long lifetime in this country, had a job until recently that spent several decades with extremely high throughput of every cross section in society, from homeless, addicts, blue collar, white collar, high society etc. You name it, I’ve had them and plenty of all types. Also, worked everywhere from major metro with lengthily rural and outback stints during my career over a wide area of the country. So, I’m not ‘Every Australian’, but I’ve pretty much met all of them. And all born and bred Australians of Australian heritage are pretty similar.

[GaPlanter]

@Unsure05

Hello! I appreciate all the advice on this post! But can we not use it for arguing now please my inbox isn’t loving it 😅 thanks

And what are they even arguing about now 😭. Just take it to PM guys no one else cares.

[TapptoSing]

Slightly tangentially, there’s an amazing two part documentary on BBC iplayer entitled :

”Rebels of Oz: Germaine, Clive, Barry and Bob” about Germaine Greer, Clive James, Barry Humphries and Robert Hughes.

It was a total pleasure to hear them speak about their experiences in episode 1, now for episode 2 😀

[cassiatwenty]

I am not your 😜 mate 😂

Where does the term "Ping-pong Poms" come from? What does it mean?

[LadyH846]

Everyone from the UK thinks, oh how lovely to live in a warm country, but my experience of Australia (Brisbane and Perth) is that an outdoors lifestyle isn't possible for much of the year due to the sun and the heat. Expect many days sitting indoors with air con while it's baking outside.

[Ozgirl75]

I think that’s probably true in Queensland and WA - in Sydney it was very rare to have to be inside, really only those very few days when it got to 40+ and some years you never get days like that. Mostly in the summer it’s 27-35. Adelaide is very pleasant in the summer. Queensland though, wow, I do not know how people cope with the humidity.

[bumpercarbarry]

@Unsure05

Hello! I appreciate all the advice on this post! But can we not use it for arguing now please my inbox isn’t loving it 😅 thanks

😂😂😂


So are you moving or not? 🤣

[Unsure05]

@bumpercarbarry

😂😂😂


So are you moving or not? 🤣

Haha well we’ve progressed with our migration agent and send DHs CV off to see what he needs for his skills assessment and they’re sending through the cost of everything then we’re going to fully sit down and talk about it. In the meantime we’ve got a holiday planned to south wales to see if that beach lifestyle fills our cups any. We need to move somewhere before we go mad here! If we’re not going to be Oz it needs to be a similar vibe place in the uk.