To stay in the UK or move to Oz

[Unsure05]

DH and I are so on the fence here so we need some random strangers on the internets opinions please 😅 we have to DD (nearly 3 and 12 weeks old) and we have an opportunity to move to Australia. I have family in Melbourne and have been a few times and known from a young age I’d love to travel round or experience living there. DH has never been but has always wanted to visit and would be happy to move and try it if that’s what we decide. His job is on the skilled occupation list but until we go further with the migration agent we’ve chatted to we won’t know what are of Australia we could potentially move to but we don’t really mind either way.

Our issue here is that we just can’t get over the guilt of leaving our families here. Mine and DH parents are here and my sister and her DD. We see the grandparents every few weeks and our daughter loves her cousin. We just have never felt settled in the UK and know we would love the Aussie way of life. Plus with everything just going downhill in the UK it’s not getting much better and we aren’t bothered about staying, it would only be for family. But that’s a big thing! Financially we only really have this big move in us or buy a house here. Also need to add that the last time my mum went to visit her sister in Oz she said it would maybe be one of the last times she could do the trip with how long and gruelling it can be. My dad would probably not be able to do it and my DHs dad would defiantly not as he’s not very well so it would be down to us to come see them and it’s so expensive so we would hardly see them I think! I’m just so torn! What would you guys do?

Lots of GP practices are moving to charging. It's getting harder to find bulk billing GPs.

But I still find it a better system than in the UK. Because GPs are paid per visit rather than per patient on their books they have more of an incentive to actually see you. And you don't have to fight to get a referral to a specialist like you do in the UK.

And you can choose any GP to register with, no discussions about being out of area etc.

Schools - if you live in catchment they have to give your child a place.

Income, I think the well paid middle positions are easier to get, but maybe not as many of the very highly paid positions. Lower income earners earn much more than they would in the UK (hence moving back to Australia).

But the flight is gruelling, and very expensive. Do not believe anyone in the UK who tells you they would visit you loads. They won't. And you will begin to resent it if you return back to the UK every year. Returning in the long school holidays means missing out on summer. Any other time means just a 2 week break unless you take your DC out of school (no fines for doing that though).

In honesty there is much more going on in the UK in terms of summer festivals, markets, shows etc. There may be exceptions if you live in a big city like Melbourne or Sydney but most people live further out due to rising costs

It is worth looking at moving to a coastal town in the UK.

Also to the pp moving 20 years ago - I think the housing difference was more then. We looked a couple of years ago and we couldn't afford an Aus house now!

Should prob add that family isn’t a consideration for us as we actually have move there than here.

This

DBro has recently moved back. We are so pleased to see him!! DM is overjoyed - she is too old and ill to go very far, and was certain she'd never see him again. He said that he's getting too old for the journey. Friends, family, cousins, siblings all now within a day's drive. He's not close (geographically) at all, but he could get in a car a drive to DM's house without any major planning if needs be (and he did recently, and gave me respite from hospital appts which was brilliant for me too).

And he would echo that Oz is as bad as the UK in some respects.

Find a place that suits your lifestyle in the UK.

We still know people in Aus and they say the cost of living ATM is crazy food and house prices are very bad.

An Aussie friend of mine was over in Jan and we were talking about this. She couldn't believe how expensive our energy bills were last winter - like seriously shocked - also at the amount they had risen in a very short period of time (ours tripled from Sept-Jan). So while I don't think any Western country has escaped inflation, rising food and energy costs, Australia seemed to be doing better than the UK five months ago. I don't know if this has since changed.

House prices are very high in Sydney and have been for years, but then if you live in the SE of England they're not exactly low here either!

Wow all thank you for your insights! Not sure what I was expecting from this as I’ve never posted on an online forum before but this gave us lots to think and talk about! I think we’re going to look at UK coastal towns and make more effort to do the outdoor things we like whenever we can and go on more holidays!

My sister moved to Melbourne 25 years ago. She's married to.an Australian so it's a different scenario.

She took a long while to feel settled. People take the piss out of the English, and she found that tough. She also misses the UK. She was in a really tough position when our dad was dying as she couldn't get back here in time, whereas I got to be with him.

My Mum does try to go over there every 18 months but she's 81 so won't be able to do that much more.

My sister and her family are in the suburbs of Melbourne, it's not particularly pretty and it takes a while to get to the beach or countryside. So they don't have an amazing outdoor lifestyle. The weather is better than here, but her house is really cold in winter as its not well insulated.

I thought for a moment you we're my DS and DDiL but the family is wrong. The advice I've given is to go. Yes we'll miss them but the way the UK is going I'd rather they had the chance of a better life in Oz rather than fight for every penny here.

Looking forward to long holidays in the heat with them

Just out of interest, how good is a salary of $200k Aus dollars per annum for life in Sydney? It sounds very high to me; would that be enough for a very comfortable lifestyle and nice apartment?

@Bookridden depends vastly on area. Look at domain.com.au for house prices.

I remember aussie friends being surprised at how much of an outdoors life we could have (beach in the rain!)

Also agree with Melbourne suburbia. It took them an hour just to drive OUT the city whereas we can be in countryside so quickly here in England where we live. Forest, country parks and coast all very easily accessible, as well as the ability to visit different towns and scenery within an hours drive. And of course Europe on the doorstep.

Having spent time in Oz made me appreciate some of these things even more. And yes the constant put down of English people gets wearing. It's a bit of a national pasttime ....

I'm from there. I wouldn't go back.

The way they treated their citizens throughout COVID... making it illegal to go home at one point during DELTA, mandating vaccines (still mandated by stealth in many work sectors), (had all my vaccines here by choice by the way!) - the Andrews government- look at the latest budget. Think carefully.

I will never go back to live.

I visited elderly parents during Easter - long expensive journey and I'll have to go back a few times yet - but I don't think I could live there again.

It's changed. It's not the Melbourne I knew and once loved.

I genuinely don't understand why people would move back to Australia for the weather and then settle in Melbourne. Lovely city, loads to do, but the closest to the UK weather wise, minus the snow.

The Melbourne summers thoroughly depressed me...

From my lifelong experience in Melbourne, Queensland and Geelong, you’re not wrong. Finding a bulk-billing doctor who’s actually worth seeing is getting more and more difficult. Costs me about $70 for a GP visit and the rebate is about $30 - and I’m on a pension.

Agree. Although Melbourne would still be a million times better than UK

I can not remember the last time I saw a bulk billed GP. The cost of medicines is very expensive compared to the UK.

It is cold where I live. It has been a fast and cold start to winter. And we are expecting a hot dry summer which given how cool and wet the last few years have been is very scary. The brutality of the weather here is not to be under estimated.

I also think Australia is feeling "depressed" "overwhelmed" or something. We had 6 months of fires before COVID and financially all the extra money sloshing around post fires and during COVID is drying up and it's not looking great.

I moved to Perth ten years ago. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. This is the third country I've lived in and my quality of life is massively better than it was in the UK and Ireland. Don't get me wrong, I love all three countries and they all have their plusses and minuses. But the glorious weather here tips it for me, although this doesn't apply if you don't like sun (then you can move to Melbs!).

I'm the reverse, a down under living up top.
Technology has made a huge difference to living far from family. My parents read stories and had special toys they showed to my children over Skype or now WhatsApp. My Dad now coaches cricket to one online and my Mum cooks with my other. They simultaneously bake the same recipe !
Quite often I have met my family for a holiday in Asia.
They are now at the point where travel isn't so easy so we'll try to get them more.
Also like a previous poster said, it doesnt have to be forever.

Unfortunately only you can make the decision. I live in a country where there are many people who have moved here from all over the world, including the UK, leaving their families behind. The people I worked with only returned home every two/three/four years, but seem happy enough staying here. However, no-one else can say how much you will miss your family.

@JandalsAlways

Agree. Although Melbourne would still be a million times better than UK

After spending nearly 2 decades in South East England I'd say it's on par. Swap the cold snow days for rain, rain and more rain and it comes out the same.

Maybe compared to north of London? Dunno.

I never knew that New Zealand and New Caledonia are the only countries in the Asia/Pacific region other than Australia. Well, you learn something every day.

Honestly, people in this part of the world travel around the region all the time, stop making it sound like it takes a week to get anywhere.

Different locations, jobs, lifestyles will suit different families; we'll all have our own personal preferences about locations; most people will be biased towards what they know.

I moved back to my home area for 5 years in total to help support during a whole series of illness/end-of-life events. I didn't have to, but I felt I needed to. While I've moved away again, looking back I was glad to be able to support as I did. I was lucky in that kids were at college age, I had a job where I could work remotely a lot even before covid.

I emigrated from the UK 15 years ago and it's the best thing I ever did. My life is fantastic and the UK doesn't feel like home or anywhere I would want to live any more.

I missed my family and friends a lot at the start but they all come to visit and I can't live my life for other people.

I have a DD now aged 9 and she's having the most brilliant life experience.

There's a whole big world out there, go and explore it.

From personal observation, it seems people who move to WA, SA and QLD seem to have a vastly different experience to those who end up moving to Sydney or Melbs (I don't personally know anyone who moved to other states) and they usually end up being happy with their decision etc. The people who I do know who moved over to Aus who moved to either Sydney or Melbourne have all mostly returned back to the UK or the US. Before anyone gets offended, I am just talking about the people I know - not you or your Aunt Morag or your friend's friend's brother. Just my personal observation.

I am wondering if those posters who claim they cannot find bulk billed drs are in Sydney or Melbourne? As I know Adelaide, Perth and Brisbane have many bulk billed drs available (SO many english Drs).

I also find that so many Brits who do live here complain about the cost of living but fail to see that these have increased back in England too. Someone I work with always complains of the cost of fuel ($1.89 diesel - which would be 99c back in England). When I tell her that diesel is about 1.40 in England ($2.67) she just doesn't comprehend. And her commute to work here is less than 10 minutes, in England she traveled 1hr15m. Then she will complain about loaves of bread saying $2.60 is outrageous but if a loaf of bread in the UK is 1.40 (just looked on Tesco, Hovis) that is pretty much the same price as here $2.67 equivalent. So I always take the 'costs are getting out of control in Australia' with a pinch of salt as when I weigh up my own personal costs and experience I am better off financially here in Aus.

My mortgage is less here. I don't pay electric as I have solar and sell surplus back to the grid so I end up getting monthly rebates of around $40. No heating bills. Internet seems to be roughly the same cost as England, I pay $60 per month. Phone = I have an old iphone and use a dodo pay monthly sim which is $10 a month. It is like anything; HOW you live, not WHERE you live probably makes a huge difference. And your outlook. I am the same as many of the posters on here: my only regret is that we didn't move here sooner :)

Anyway OP, I see you've stated you will look at coastal towns in the UK now. I hope you find somewhere lovely to settle.