To stay in the UK or move to Oz

[Unsure05]

DH and I are so on the fence here so we need some random strangers on the internets opinions please 😅 we have to DD (nearly 3 and 12 weeks old) and we have an opportunity to move to Australia. I have family in Melbourne and have been a few times and known from a young age I’d love to travel round or experience living there. DH has never been but has always wanted to visit and would be happy to move and try it if that’s what we decide. His job is on the skilled occupation list but until we go further with the migration agent we’ve chatted to we won’t know what are of Australia we could potentially move to but we don’t really mind either way.

Our issue here is that we just can’t get over the guilt of leaving our families here. Mine and DH parents are here and my sister and her DD. We see the grandparents every few weeks and our daughter loves her cousin. We just have never felt settled in the UK and know we would love the Aussie way of life. Plus with everything just going downhill in the UK it’s not getting much better and we aren’t bothered about staying, it would only be for family. But that’s a big thing! Financially we only really have this big move in us or buy a house here. Also need to add that the last time my mum went to visit her sister in Oz she said it would maybe be one of the last times she could do the trip with how long and gruelling it can be. My dad would probably not be able to do it and my DHs dad would defiantly not as he’s not very well so it would be down to us to come see them and it’s so expensive so we would hardly see them I think! I’m just so torn! What would you guys do?

[soberfabulous]

@PeopleAreShit

Fuck it, I’d go.
Family is great but your family is your little tiny unit. I would hate to think my children didn’t live their own lives waiting for me to get old to care for me. Nursing home, not having family risk their lives caring. You only get one life, go live it.

Great post and exactly how I felt when I left the uk 15 years ago.

[HoppingPavlova]

So you go to far North Queensland and the scenery is amazing and the weather is lovely but there’s still a Cole’s and similar food and language

Disagree heavily there. I’m from Sydney and have spent a lot of time in different places and I would say FN QLD, NT, certain outback regions and certain parts of Tas are definitely like different countries compared to Sydney/Melb metro. I have one child (now adult), who still can’t understand a word locals say when we go to FN QLD, DH and I act as interpreters and the other kids can also on a sliding scale but are also perplexed at times (but can get along fine). Not sure how many places in NT you have visited that are not Darwin but I’d dare anyone to call those and their inhabitants homogenous with Syd/Melb etc.

[Tourmalines]

@soberfabulous

Great post and exactly how I felt when I left the uk 15 years ago.

Agree
Go, if you don’t go you will always wonder. Take the risk , then you’ll know . You are going to get 1,000,001 different opinions,

[NandorsFamilar]

I've lived in Aus quite a while, and things have changed hugely in the last few years. (Vic)
My bulk billed GP is no longer- 40-50 bucks per visit, because the government Medicare rebate has not changed since the 1980s.
Food has always been expensive, but the rate it is increasing is shocking,
Schools apparently have a shortage of about 2000 teachers across the state and it will get worse.
Rentals are mad- huge prices and queues of people trying to secure a place.
And I live in an area where there are mass road building projects- it has been going on for 4 years and is predicted for at least another 2. Driving 8kms can take 45 mins.

People say about pollution and corruption in UK- here it is just not reported as widely.
A fire in a warehouse full of illegally stored shit chemicals?- ah well, The owner was naughty but hey ho. A heritage listed building knocked down illegally and 20 tonnes of asbestos dumped? Again, pretty naughty but..
Selling off water rights to Chinese companies in a drought prone area? OK
The list goes on.

All places have good and bad but Australia is far from the Utopia people assume it to be. It is a mess of a country with sun. UK is a mess of a country with Europe on its doorstep.

[rolvus]

Move to Cornwall! You could have months and months every spring/summer basically living the Aussie lifestyle, but without the drawbacks of moving to Aus. Seriously, have you followed some of these families on Instagram who live there? You could make it as incredible as you wanted to. I have family who never settled in Aus and can't come back, and who are incredibly homesick. They have a long list of everything that is amazing about the UK.

[EminSydney]

Hi Unsure
Just adding my 2 cents. We are in Sydney and contemplating to move to the UK as DH has an office there. One of the biggest dilemmas is family, as well as finance. As some of the Aussies have mentioned above, living standards here are not great either. Groceries, electricity, housing, interest rates, petrol are going up and up while pay remains the same. More and more ppl are struggling. So I wouldn't say grass is greener here at the moment but then I'm not sure how bad it is over in the UK.

My Slovakian friend here, her dad passed away without her being able to go to the funeral recently. Now she has an aging mum back home who recently had a bad fall. My friend is really struggling with the idea of not being able to go to her mum cos of her own family commitment here, and air tickets being so expensive. They've always tried to go back at least 1x a year but air tickets cost them nearly AUD$10k for family of 4 per round. So something to think about if you have the need to see family often.

Have a list of pros and cons and look at them objectively. I'm asking myself what I am giving up here, and can give up here to move over there for. Sometimes there are somethings that just makes moving impossible.

The best advice as some have mentioned in earlier posts and to me as well for my move, is to go check it out for yourselves. My DH proposes to do a 6 week stint or 3 months (1 Aussie school term) and have a good feel of the area before taking the big plunge. It sounds exciting but we are needing to work out how to do that with high school aged kids!

All the best. x

[Catsmere]

@OrderOfTheKookaburra

@JandalsAlways

Agree. Although Melbourne would still be a million times better than UK

After spending nearly 2 decades in South East England I'd say it's on par. Swap the cold snow days for rain, rain and more rain and it comes out the same.

Maybe compared to north of London? Dunno.

Apparently Sydney gets more rain than Melbourne - although as my old boss used to say, difference is they get it all in one day! 😄

[EminSydney]

Hear, hear!

[EminSydney]

@NandorsFamilar

I've lived in Aus quite a while, and things have changed hugely in the last few years. (Vic)
My bulk billed GP is no longer- 40-50 bucks per visit, because the government Medicare rebate has not changed since the 1980s.
Food has always been expensive, but the rate it is increasing is shocking,
Schools apparently have a shortage of about 2000 teachers across the state and it will get worse.
Rentals are mad- huge prices and queues of people trying to secure a place.
And I live in an area where there are mass road building projects- it has been going on for 4 years and is predicted for at least another 2. Driving 8kms can take 45 mins.

People say about pollution and corruption in UK- here it is just not reported as widely.
A fire in a warehouse full of illegally stored shit chemicals?- ah well, The owner was naughty but hey ho. A heritage listed building knocked down illegally and 20 tonnes of asbestos dumped? Again, pretty naughty but..
Selling off water rights to Chinese companies in a drought prone area? OK
The list goes on.

All places have good and bad but Australia is far from the Utopia people assume it to be. It is a mess of a country with sun. UK is a mess of a country with Europe on its doorstep.

I meant to say "hear, hear!" here.
Sorry, newbie mistake.

[Ozgirl75]

@HoppingPavlova

So you go to far North Queensland and the scenery is amazing and the weather is lovely but there’s still a Cole’s and similar food and language

Disagree heavily there. I’m from Sydney and have spent a lot of time in different places and I would say FN QLD, NT, certain outback regions and certain parts of Tas are definitely like different countries compared to Sydney/Melb metro. I have one child (now adult), who still can’t understand a word locals say when we go to FN QLD, DH and I act as interpreters and the other kids can also on a sliding scale but are also perplexed at times (but can get along fine). Not sure how many places in NT you have visited that are not Darwin but I’d dare anyone to call those and their inhabitants homogenous with Syd/Melb etc.

I didn’t say they were homogenous - I said they were “similar” in a way that comparing say Spain, Greece, Germany and Ireland just aren’t. I also didn’t say that you had to travel for a week, but to fly for four hours and nearly everyone speaks the same language, eats similar food and has similar buildings and history just isn’t as exciting (for me) as the huge variety that you can experience in Europe.
However, we are all different, and what suits me might not suit you, which is fine.

[CherryRipe1]

@Catsmere

From my lifelong experience in Melbourne, Queensland and Geelong, you’re not wrong. Finding a bulk-billing doctor who’s actually worth seeing is getting more and more difficult. Costs me about $70 for a GP visit and the rebate is about $30 - and I’m on a pension.

Thanks for the insight, interesting, I stand corrected and apologize re bulk billing. Things must have changed since I was there.

[Justchooseone]

I do think that one’s opinions on rental prices depends on where you live in the UK. 3 bedroom properties for rent in our SE town (on the outskirts of a tube line, 30 mins into central London) are comparable, if not more expensive, than family homes I’ve been looking at on the northern beaches in Sydney. Do your own research OP. I use real estate.com.au

[Aslanplustwo]

@Ozgirl75

I didn’t say they were homogenous - I said they were “similar” in a way that comparing say Spain, Greece, Germany and Ireland just aren’t. I also didn’t say that you had to travel for a week, but to fly for four hours and nearly everyone speaks the same language, eats similar food and has similar buildings and history just isn’t as exciting (for me) as the huge variety that you can experience in Europe.
However, we are all different, and what suits me might not suit you, which is fine.

Once again, if you live in Australia you are not limited to travelling to another part of the country, or to NZ. There are a lot of Pacific Islands, plus Asia - and as far as I am aware they are rather diffirent to Australia. Why do people in the UK think Europe is some wonderful place and the rest of the world dull and boring?? Do you really think everyone in Australia never leaves the country? People are on MN all the time banging on about "culture" and "history" - well, some of us are easily bored with that, believe it or not. Some of us are more interested in scenery and people, and would rather go on an adventure than traipse around old buildings. As you said, we are all different.

[Catsmere]

@CherryRipe1

Thanks for the insight, interesting, I stand corrected and apologize re bulk billing. Things must have changed since I was there.

No worries!

[Bunnycat101]

One of the posters early on was pretty wise with this: “Sports etc can be done here- many people have an active outdoorsy life here just change how you live here (just as many people in Oz don't- people move across and think they'll suddenly become sporty...!)”

I think there can be a perception that you’ll be different, do more stuff etc but if you don’t do it here now, you won’t necessarily do it there. In the south the weather is generally good enough to do a lot of outdoorsy stuff. If it’s not something you prioritise now, that sort of lifestyle won’t suddenly appear. I see it in reverse. One of my friends was having a dilemma about moving out of London and one of the reasons was missing the theatre. She hadn’t been to theatre for at least 5 years prior so it wasn’t like she was actually making use of the amazing venues on her doorstep.

[NandorsFamilar]

Another thing to add- first day of winter here.
Houses and apartments are so poorly built. Building standards are atrocious. Houses built since 1980ish will not be standing in 80 years.
My last house was weatherboards outside and gyprock on the inside - nothing else. Getting up in the morning, our house was 3 deg about 7am. I had to wake up an hour early , put the heater on and go back to bed.
This is fairly standard for weatherboard houses with a tin roof

[Ladybug14]

@Savvy25

As an aussie, things are going downhill in Australia too. Cost of living, interest rates, groceries etc.. I think without much family support over here, the grass will not be greener. Especially once kids in school and aging family back in UK.

This is what I hear from my friends in Oz. Things going downhill ^^

[Catsmere]

@NandorsFamilar

Another thing to add- first day of winter here.
Houses and apartments are so poorly built. Building standards are atrocious. Houses built since 1980ish will not be standing in 80 years.
My last house was weatherboards outside and gyprock on the inside - nothing else. Getting up in the morning, our house was 3 deg about 7am. I had to wake up an hour early , put the heater on and go back to bed.
This is fairly standard for weatherboard houses with a tin roof

Yep, when I was in the outermost suburb of Melbourne in the 2010s there were a lot of townhouses (brick veneer I presume) built nearby, and they were starting to fall to bits within a couple of years. Absolute shite and outrageous prices as well.

[Marmite0nToast]

@Catsmere

From my lifelong experience in Melbourne, Queensland and Geelong, you’re not wrong. Finding a bulk-billing doctor who’s actually worth seeing is getting more and more difficult. Costs me about $70 for a GP visit and the rebate is about $30 - and I’m on a pension.

I've also noticed a gradual phasing out of bulk-billing in our local area (NW Sydney). My GP now charges a $100 for a consult ?(I think we get about $30 back from Medicare) and I'm struggling to find any other local surgeries that bulk-bill.

[weareallout]

I had a friend who used to go on about how they'd have an amazing outdoor life in Oz. I used to roll my eyes as they had nothing of the sort here despite living in a lovely area with hills / lakes & only 90 min from the beaches. Two mildly overweight DC. Inactive lifestyle overall.
They didn't get the points to go in the end.

[Unsure05]

All very fair points! We are very active here but when weather permits. It’s like we live totally different lives when it’s warmer to when it’s not as it is much harder to get out and do things when rainy and cold. Especially with the kids! I suppose looking for a nice chilled out coastal town in the UK will also be nice and will have to make more effort to find out what we all enjoy doing when it’s not as nice out!

[weareallout]

I'm in the NW. the difference is that people just buy thick coats & rain proof gear. Walking in forests etc can be awesome even if damp. Beaches can still be played on & dogs walked etc. It's all about the clothes.

[Hell121]

Like previous posters have said I suppose it is what you are into. I feel I’ve done Europe quite a bit and am looking forward to adventures on another continent. I love entertaining and eating out - there is a fantastic restaurant and food scene where we are moving and the fact you can invite people round and sit outside in guaranteed good weather will be a huge bonus for us. When we visited last everywhere was cleaner, less crowded (DH is Aussie this isn’t a first visit with rose tinted glasses on) and when compared to the life we are living in the uk now the benefits of moving outweigh any negatives. Also comparing cost of living - we were paying in dollars what we we would pay for some staples here in pounds so I guess it is all relative. Plus our relatives are also selling back to the grid though their solar so energy costs are low if you have that technology. It is bloody June here and I am contemplating putting the heating on.

[Snoken]

I don’t think people realise just how much it rains in the UK and what it does to peoples moods. I go out in all weathers but it is a lot less intriguing when it’s pouring down. I just did a comparison between where I live now versus where I lived before and millimetres of precipitation was more than twice as much where I lived in England compared to where I live now in Sweden in 2022. It is a lot more likely that the OP will be able to do a bigger variety of outdoorsy activities in a drier climate, so I don’t think you can achieve the same lifestyle in England at all.

[Hell121]

@Snoken I totally agree - we have cracked and out heating on. Where is the joy in freezing cold all weather and having to wash muddy boots etc not to mention having to either shiver in some shitty cafe or having a bracing outdoor picnic - no thanks - even in Cornwall where there are no jobs and limited healthcare 😕