To stay in the UK or move to Oz

[Unsure05]

DH and I are so on the fence here so we need some random strangers on the internets opinions please 😅 we have to DD (nearly 3 and 12 weeks old) and we have an opportunity to move to Australia. I have family in Melbourne and have been a few times and known from a young age I’d love to travel round or experience living there. DH has never been but has always wanted to visit and would be happy to move and try it if that’s what we decide. His job is on the skilled occupation list but until we go further with the migration agent we’ve chatted to we won’t know what are of Australia we could potentially move to but we don’t really mind either way.

Our issue here is that we just can’t get over the guilt of leaving our families here. Mine and DH parents are here and my sister and her DD. We see the grandparents every few weeks and our daughter loves her cousin. We just have never felt settled in the UK and know we would love the Aussie way of life. Plus with everything just going downhill in the UK it’s not getting much better and we aren’t bothered about staying, it would only be for family. But that’s a big thing! Financially we only really have this big move in us or buy a house here. Also need to add that the last time my mum went to visit her sister in Oz she said it would maybe be one of the last times she could do the trip with how long and gruelling it can be. My dad would probably not be able to do it and my DHs dad would defiantly not as he’s not very well so it would be down to us to come see them and it’s so expensive so we would hardly see them I think! I’m just so torn! What would you guys do?

[coxesorangepippin]

I'd be there like a shot

Lived there a year in my twenties and adored it

Your kids will love it over there

[IntoDeepBlueSea]

• on the private health, everyone has to have some health insurance, or pay extra tax, but it only covers hospital, and a percentage of things like physio.
  
  You still have to pay for doctor appointments, and the rebate from the government has barely changed, whereas the cost goes up and up. When our mortgage rate was less, it was ok, but now, it would take over a year to get on a public health list for each of the depts we use. Just to explain a bit more!

[MrsCarson]

I'd go. I'd also encourage my kids to try it.
Put enough in savings to cover emergency trips back to UK, you don't both have to travel depending on whose family is elderly/ill at that time. I did this in the US and it made a huge difference knowing if needed I could travel if needed.

[SunnyEgg]

as undoubtedly Aus offers so many more opportunities for children and young people

This is a while back but so many left for London and elsewhere. Has this changed much?

[Codlingmoths]

I would go, but be open to moving back in say 8-10 years? Our oldest two were born in the uk before we moved back to oz- I must say it was quite liberating having weekends to ourselves for a few years in london as a busy working family! But I agree the life for our dc is better here. However family were part of the pull home, so that’s why I say maybe you move back , or take a leave of absence and come back for a year…

[Ozgirl75]

@SunnyEgg

as undoubtedly Aus offers so many more opportunities for children and young people

This is a while back but so many left for London and elsewhere. Has this changed much?

I would say it depends. Some industries are probably easier to get into in Aus than in the U.K. If you work in science or anything niche then people tend to leave for Europe.
There is a good work life balance in general I would say but things have changed from 10-20 years ago when you could move over, double your salary and halve your rent.

[LlynTegid]

I wouldn't move myself because older family members could not visit.

[PeopleAreShit]

Fuck it, I’d go.
Family is great but your family is your little tiny unit. I would hate to think my children didn’t live their own lives waiting for me to get old to care for me. Nursing home, not having family risk their lives caring. You only get one life, go live it.

[Greycloudlooming]

@IntoDeepBlueSea

• on the private health, everyone has to have some health insurance, or pay extra tax, but it only covers hospital, and a percentage of things like physio.
  
  You still have to pay for doctor appointments, and the rebate from the government has barely changed, whereas the cost goes up and up. When our mortgage rate was less, it was ok, but now, it would take over a year to get on a public health list for each of the depts we use. Just to explain a bit more!

?? I’ve never paid for a dr appointment here in 8 years. I can get a dr appointment here within 20 minutes if I want to. They’re all bulked billed where I live other than one weird AI machine scan medical place which is $38 for a consultation.

Waiting lists around here for hospitals are minimal too.

It vastly depends on where you live. If you’re somewhere overcrowded like Sydney then I guess it’d be hell (for me). It’s so overpriced in Sydney, but Sydney does not represent the entire country. It’s not even the capital.

[Ozgirl75]

I’ve never paid for a Dr appointment in Sydney either and our surgery had a normal online booking system where you could always see the dr that day or the next.

[Codlingmoths]

I pay for gp appts. About $40 is the gap at ours. I think I could find bulk billed but it wouldn’t be as convenient.

[IntoDeepBlueSea]

There's no need to be rude. I'm wrong, not stupid. Obviously it varies from state to state and city to city, but I didn't know that where I was counted at as outlier. Especially not from watching the news.

Anyway, apologies OP. Apparently I know fuck all.

[FFF3]

Every single person I know who has moved to Oz has moved back - even if they stay a few years. It really is a long way away, and family has always been an issue.

[N4ish]

Does it have to be all or nothing? Going for 2 years to try it sounds like the best plan. Especially as your DH has never set foot in the country and might end up completely hating it!

[Myusername4321]

I have experience in moving to Australia. Me my husband and Daughter then aged 2 moved there just over 6 years ago. We lasted about 3 years. Had some lovely memories but it never felt like home I also become pregnant with second DD so made the decision to come home . It's quite an isolating place and you are sort of forced into friendships (manly other Brits!) because you need people, having said that everyone was lovely. Don't underestimate missing your family with the flight cost and time you aren't likely to see them much and I know I massively missed the support and just home in general.

We still know people in Aus and they say the cost of living ATM is crazy food and house prices are very bad. People expect it to be like a holiday but it reality you still need to work. The winters can be very wet and summers insanely hot! But there is some lovely weather inbetween.

The emigration system is hard aswell and if you want to become a resident that is costly.

Having said that im so glad we did it, there is no harm in giving it a go!

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

GO! Quality of life is much better there.

[SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress]

We had the chance when dc were small. We decided against due to dhs elderly parents. We don't regret it but do ponder sometimes what life would be like.

[CherryRipe1]

@Greycloudlooming

?? I’ve never paid for a dr appointment here in 8 years. I can get a dr appointment here within 20 minutes if I want to. They’re all bulked billed where I live other than one weird AI machine scan medical place which is $38 for a consultation.

Waiting lists around here for hospitals are minimal too.

It vastly depends on where you live. If you’re somewhere overcrowded like Sydney then I guess it’d be hell (for me). It’s so overpriced in Sydney, but Sydney does not represent the entire country. It’s not even the capital.

I agree about bulk billing & being seen quickly. I've lived in Melbourne and Brisbane & just made sure the GP clinic bulked billed so didn't have to pay. Did pay something once at a one man band type GP and got some refunded via Medicare.
Go OP, if it doesn't work out you'll all have gained a fantastic experience.

[weareallout]

No harm in trying for a couple of years. But if both are working it won't be that much different to living in the UK except warmer & sunnier. Mundane side of life is the same.
There are plenty of lovely UK towns with stunning beaches

[cabbagefordinner]

I moved here 20 years ago with a 6 and 3 year old and baby. No jobs in place before we moved, but professional qualifications. My only regret is we didn't do it sooner. Kids had a great school experience and 2 are in post-graduate training with great prospects. Youngest in final under-grad year. Never had any issues with school and they all enjoyed it and had loads of opportunities.
People talk about how expensive it is and yes, supermarkets are, but things like petrol, insurance, utilities, council tax are far cheaper than uk and higher salaries.
Relatives have had fabulous holidays here over the years, staying months at a time- in a much bigger house than we could have ever had, so there's more room to put family up. As relatives have got older, visits back have been do-able due to higher salaries here, and long service leave- a huge benefit -12 weeks paid leave on top of normal holiday entitlement, every 7 years.
Having been back to UK recently, making the move when we did was absolutely the right choice.
Do your homework, look at what the possibilities are for you and your relatives, but don't have regrets down the line.

[Mynameisntrelevant1]

Haven't read all but just seen op that you said better work life balance.no it's definitely not. You do sound like you're looking through rise tinted glasses- really research the place before going and the jobs you would be doing. It's a big place Adelaide is very different to Perth which is very different to Sydney etc so be sure. The lifestyle is what you make it- be ready that sone days will be too hot to go out- shopping malls/ softplay/ cinemas will be rammed just like on a rainy day here- the amount of people who are sporty is probably about the same. Please research and be realistic.

[silverlentils]

@IntoDeepBlueSea

Second @OrderOfTheKookaburra - come and look at the new Aussie board, and cost of living in particular.

I agree with all the negatives and positives here, but after 15 years in Sydney, I'd say it's hard to appreciate the positives.

We're in the top income bracket, and whilst it could be a lot worse for us, I still shop at aldi. We use mainly private healthcare, but that is exorbitant, and the waiting lists in public hospitals are ridiculous.

The mortgage rates are going up and up, petrol is ridiculous, and there are A LOT of people "doing it tough". The salaries were relatively high 15 years ago, but the cost of living has changed that completely.

Anyway, I'd only suggest coming over if you had family etc to reconnect with. If you're also close to your families, and would be leaving them behind, I just wouldn't.

Having said all of that. You could give it 2 years. Work out the costs of moving, and if after 2 years you think it was a mistake, go back. It takes the pressure off, and means you're much more careful with money.

I am in Australia for a couple of months at the moment and I understand a lot of GPs are now charging fees for consultations as well.

[MrsSkylerWhite]

We would stay here, simply because of climate change.

[HansInep]

@Unsure05

Also the work/life balance I believe to be a lot more fair over there too

This isn’t true at all based on my experience. It’ll obviously depend what industry you work in though and the organization. But I have a much much better work life balance in the UK than when I lived in Oz. It was the normally 9-5 grind with commuting in Sydney…now I work fully flexibly and remotely, with more holidays. Can you look for a more flexible role here? You don’t need to move to Australia to do that.
I do like Australia but I think often the grass is always greener and it took me moving there for a couple of years to realize it and realize how much I miss my family back home! We moved back to the UK to a new location. We are now on the south coast, in a market town where we can walk everywhere, lots of opportunity for outdoor activities, rivers, beach etc. We are very happy here and close to family, and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. If I were you I would look at what you want to change and see if there is anywhere in the UK that would meet this.

[silverlentils]

OP I have been visiting staying just outside Sydney for the last month, in a very nice $1m house in a very nice suburb, I did the same last year and my goodness it is cold 🥶 indoors. Very thin glass, no insulation, no central heating, 3C out overnight and maybe 6-8C indoors. People don't think about that. Yes it's nice in the day but it takes 3 hours for the house to heat up.
Extreme weather - extreme cold, heat, when it rains it is extreme, extreme hailstorms...
Prices are rising here too, petrol was $1.70 2 weeks ago and now back up to $2.20. less choice of supermarkets (generally Coles, Woolworths or Aldi)
GPs are starting to charge for visits.
Toiletries, cleaning products and cosmetics cost at least a third more.
Private dentistry about 20% more than the UK.
Internal flights pricey.

I have lived in a few countries and I understand the appeal of a move and of Australia, but I'd suggest do it for a couple of years then reassess. If you move back to the UK at that point, take the Aussie lifestyle with you. It is beautiful here but so very far away from aging parents. It's very hard when families end up scattered across different continents and if you stay there for good, there is a good chance your kids will either leave, or you'll end up returning to the UK and your kids will stay in Aus.