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It half term and DH is iill.., again

191 replies

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 26/05/2023 17:03

Every flaming school holiday DH is Iill. He's not a teacher, doesn't work in education. just a dad who seems to have some kind of man flu stress response to spend more than a few hours with his children )they are 11 and 14). It's no longer a joke to me about how many different places in the UK and abroad we've bought Lemsip in!!

Apparently he's too poorly to get up, and going by past experience will be for 4 or 6 days.

So - that's a wasted theatre ticket tonight, and me trying to book a bit of leave at short notice next week. The DC are old enough to look after themselves, buy we are rural enough throat they need lifts to places/cricket camp/friends etc.

Every flaming holiday.

(I took the Easter holidays off and the summer is split between us. Both are too old for holiday clubs. They see friends a bit. No local grandparents in good enough health.)

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Letsallthinkofaname · 26/05/2023 17:05

Don't book extra leave. He's an adult, he's going to have to just woman up and get on with it.

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pointythings · 26/05/2023 17:05

Have you discussed this with him, and if so has he given you any idea why this is happening, or do you genuinely think it's some kind of psychosomatic response to the prospect of having to spend time with his DC? Because if it is, he needs to get some therapy.

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stbrandonsboat · 26/05/2023 17:11

Women just have to get on with it and care for children when we're ill with routine stuff like viruses 🤷🏻‍♀️ a week in bed is ridiculous unless you've had an organ removed or had brain surgery.

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Azealeasinbloom · 26/05/2023 17:12

4-6 days unable to get up ?? Good grief he must be very ill indeed 🙄

Seriously, if this happens every school holidays, or any other pattern, I would be suggesting he needs the doctor.

I am a shit nurse, and I would be leaving my DH to sort himself out, take myself to the spare room, and get hold of his credit card so the kids could arrange taxis. Different of course if it’s genuine, but to be honest if it can be fixed by lemsip he needs to get his ass up.

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TidyHomeTidyMind · 26/05/2023 17:13

Stop molly coddling him! Who goes to bed ill for 4-6 days with a cold 🙄
The kids are 11 & 14, not babies! He will manage.

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MayBeeJuneSoon · 26/05/2023 17:14

I don't understand how you have put up with this for so long

Do you point out the 'pattern' to him?

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Littledogball · 26/05/2023 17:14

Don't book leave! You are enabling him! Just leave him to it. Would he do it for you?!
Stop babying him

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frazzledasarock · 26/05/2023 17:15

What happens if you don’t pick the slack up and leave him to get on with it because you have work?

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grayhairdontcare · 26/05/2023 17:16

You are enabling his shitty behaviour.
He either steps up and gives the kids lifts or he entertains them at home.

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Indoorcatmum · 26/05/2023 17:17

I would be saying your boss refused leave and that he will have to soldier on.

How utterly frustrating and pathetic!

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RedHinge · 26/05/2023 17:17

You don't need to be there. However ill he is he can supervise children of that age.
However it must be obvious whether he has a cold or not, he can hardly fake it so however annoying it is I don't see how you can think it's deliberate.

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Freshair1 · 26/05/2023 17:21

That is pathetic. I wouldn't tolerate that.

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Maraudingmarauders · 26/05/2023 17:24

I'd definitely not book leave (boss denied it!) And go to the theatre by yourself/with a friend: "Waste of money otherwise". I'm sympathetic for a day or so of feeling grotty. If you get a virus with chills it's miserable, but with teenage kids, life goes on. They dont need hourly care, so he can function for whatever little bits they need whilst you're at work or the theatre. Given the weather is so nice I'd recommend the victorian treatment of "getting some air".

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Travelfan2021 · 26/05/2023 17:24

I have to agree with those saying he needs to suck it up, ive been incredibly ill before and just had to do what I can manage and the rest has to wait. He will have to suck it up and soldier on.

I think the reason this conveniently happens is he knows you will deal with it, so stop. Tell him he is a parent and sometimes we just have to push through and cope.

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/05/2023 17:26

Only a man could be too unwell to get up every 6 weeks. No one is ever that ill.

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LIZS · 26/05/2023 17:27

Don't take time off. He can make arrangements for dc to get to activities, with friends, family etc or "recover". Presumably he can rest while the dc are busy,

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WilkinsonM · 26/05/2023 17:28

Unless he's literally dying he can still ferry them around. Don't pander to it!

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redfacebigdisgrace · 26/05/2023 17:29

Ridiculous. Don’t book leave!!!

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Atishoos · 26/05/2023 17:30

I think you are making a rod for your own back. You know what the strategy is to deal with lazy and recalcitrant children, so use it on your manchild immediately and refuse to back down.

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gamerchick · 26/05/2023 17:30

Why are you trying to take AL? Tell him to get his fucking arse out of bed and parent his kids.

No way I'd put up with that shit every holiday. Lazy twat.

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BreadInCaptivity · 26/05/2023 17:30

Similar vibes to this thread.....

DH ‘double booking’ constantly http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am iibeingunreasonable/4813652-dh-double-booking-constantly

He does it because you keep picking up the slack.

How many times has he had to take leave/change plans because are unwell? Never is my guess.

Stop being his support appliance.

Go out to the theatre. Don't book leave. He will have to manage like an adult and not a teenager who wants to spend the holidays in bed.

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StopMindlesslyScrolling · 26/05/2023 17:31

Go to the theatre without him and don't book leave 🤦🏻‍♀️

The world doesn't stop because he's feeling a bit under the weather, us solo parents have to deal with this all the time.

He's cried wolf too many times, just leave him to deal with it.

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HamBone · 26/05/2023 17:33

I agree with PP’s that you definitely don’t need to book leave as at 11 abs 14, your children don’t need constant supervision.

He’ll have to work out how to get them to their activities. I’m just getting over the “leurgy” myself (I’ve been travelling for work so probably caught it on a plane) and have still been working and ferrying children around. I did go to bed at 6 on Wednesday evening as I felt so rotten, but you can’t just check out of family life for days for something minor- different if your DH is really unwell, but it sounds like a cold/sore throat?

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MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 26/05/2023 17:34

Why on earth would you not go to the theatre????
Your kids are 11 and 14!
I would just say to husband that you are going.. and he has to deal with it.... I prob would have had a conversation before the end of school holidays about him feeling unwell again. If he can't get up 4 -6 days every 6-8 weeks then he needs to be checked out at the GP and have bloods taken!

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FraserNow · 26/05/2023 17:34

I’ve heard of this syndrome. I think it’s called:

LAZY-ARSE-ITIS

The best relief of the symptoms are to tell patients the diagnosis followed by good old metaphorical arse kicking to get said ARSE-ITIS moving again, think Movicol but with a large boot.

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