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Original poster

My pet just died unnecessarily

232 replies

Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:28

I’m really upset. I don’t know what I hope to achieve from this post- but I need to write down what’s in my head. I feel so heartbroken.
I had a beautiful pet tortoise. I know she was “just” a reptile and maybe she didn’t really care for me- but I loved her.
today I had to go in to work early and asked my husband to put her outside in her run after the school run whilst he worked from home. He agreed. He forgot. When I got home she’d gotten stuck upside down under her heat lamp. She had blood coming out her nose and was so so hot. I can’t get the of her out of my head. I tried to revive her- but she was gone. I’ve buried her in the garden and will plant a rose bush over her. I feel sick with guilt I didn’t put her outside myself- I chose not to as it was still cold here at 7 and the grass was damp. My husband sat in the same room as her all day and says he just didn’t notice. I’m so angry with my husband I can barely look at him. I know it was a mistake on his part- he wouldn’t hurt an animal on purpose….but I still feel so cross with him.

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 23/05/2023 20:30

I'm so sorry

Hollyhead · 23/05/2023 20:30

I’m so sorry, pets, whatever they are, become a part of your family. Men can be very thoughtless it’s not surprising you’re angry.

Spacestace · 23/05/2023 20:30

Sorry for your loss OP 💐

northernlola · 23/05/2023 20:30

Oh my goodness how horrible for you. I'd be absolutely furious with my husband.

Original poster
Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:32

I know she would have felt pain - such an awful way to die. My poor tortoise girl 😢

OP posts:
Nomorecoconutboosts · 23/05/2023 20:32

I feel very sad for you, she wasn’t ‘just a reptile’ she was a very much loved pet. I don’t know much about tortoises I gather they are quite friendly little creatures?
Bless her.
if it helps, please post a little more about her.
you will be in shock so please look after yourself, I understand why you angry with your husband.

NatureNurture85 · 23/05/2023 20:33

I’m sorry it is his fault. He was left to care for a living creature. At no point did he say No I can’t do it. He was negligent and forgot and it cost a life. I’m sorry OP.

Lemonbell · 23/05/2023 20:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Mingomang · 23/05/2023 20:33

I’m so so sorry.
I am not sure I could get past this if it were my husband. I hope you can move past this x

Namechangeforthisreason · 23/05/2023 20:34

I’m so sorry OP. I totally sympathise and know how awful you must feel.

We once had a horrific ordeal with a pet dying it was so so traumatic and I blamed myself for a long time . Absolutely hideous situation

Im sure your tortoise knew she was loved and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this Flowers

Pinkflamingopants · 23/05/2023 20:34

How can anyone forget about their pet? Your husband is a dick. I'm so sorry OP.

PerfectYear321 · 23/05/2023 20:35

I'm so sorry....that's awful. What a shock.
I'd be fuming with husband too.

Namechangeforthisreason · 23/05/2023 20:36

OP you say you knew he wouldn’t hurt an animal deliberately so keep hold of that - it was a mistake. A terrible mistake but not deliberate . Has he said he’s sorry ?

FrangipaniBlue · 23/05/2023 20:36

Awww no bless you, and her 😢

I have tortoise who us also a little bugger for flipping himself over!

They're not just reptiles, they have so much personality.

How long did you have her?

MuttsNutts · 23/05/2023 20:37

I am so sorry 💐

I would be absolutely devastated and I hope your husband feels suitably terrible, he deserves to. Don’t minimise his negligence by calling it a mistake, he is solely responsible for the suffering and death of a living creature that was totally reliant on him.

hattie43 · 23/05/2023 20:37

OMG what a horrible way to die .
I think I'd kill the husband . How do you ever get over that .

Original poster
Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:38

She was so beautiful. She had such a playful nature and would try to bite my toes when ever I painted my toe nails. But yesterday she was stomping round the garden gobbling up clover and digging in the wood chips. I used to chat with her- I’d have do so both part of the conversation and I gave her a posh voice. I thought she’d out live me tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:39

I’d only had her 4 years

OP posts:
Namechangeforthisreason · 23/05/2023 20:39

MuttsNutts · 23/05/2023 20:37

I am so sorry 💐

I would be absolutely devastated and I hope your husband feels suitably terrible, he deserves to. Don’t minimise his negligence by calling it a mistake, he is solely responsible for the suffering and death of a living creature that was totally reliant on him.

I do agree but I think with an animal like a tortoise it may be easier to ‘forget’ as it’s not like they make noises is it? So he genuinely may have been busy and forgotten and not had any kind of jolt to remember like you would with a puppy or kitten for example ?

FearTheWankingDead · 23/05/2023 20:40

It’s not ‘just’ a reptile, it’s a loved family member.
I love my more pets more than most people other than my children
Sorry that you are so sad xxx

ThreeRingCircus · 23/05/2023 20:40

Namechangeforthisreason · 23/05/2023 20:36

OP you say you knew he wouldn’t hurt an animal deliberately so keep hold of that - it was a mistake. A terrible mistake but not deliberate . Has he said he’s sorry ?

I would be furious with my husband too in this situation but if he was very upset and sorry then I'd move past it. If he's defensive or tries to downplay it then you've got bigger issues.

Original poster
Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:41

He’s said he feels so guilty. He seems sad. He must have talked to him mum about it as she called me. I’m not ready to talk to him yet.

OP posts:
Nomorecoconutboosts · 23/05/2023 20:43

You’ll be in shock still, try and have a gentle evening as best you can, look after yourself like you would if you were unwell - as you are trying to process it. No rush to make any decisions about what you might say to your h or anyone else.

WilkinsonM · 23/05/2023 20:44

I'm so sorry and also oddly sorry for your husband though in your position I'd be wanting to kill or divorce him or maybe both :(

Puppyseahorse · 23/05/2023 20:45

So heartbreaking. I’m really sorry OP.