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Original poster

My pet just died unnecessarily

232 replies

Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:28

I’m really upset. I don’t know what I hope to achieve from this post- but I need to write down what’s in my head. I feel so heartbroken.
I had a beautiful pet tortoise. I know she was “just” a reptile and maybe she didn’t really care for me- but I loved her.
today I had to go in to work early and asked my husband to put her outside in her run after the school run whilst he worked from home. He agreed. He forgot. When I got home she’d gotten stuck upside down under her heat lamp. She had blood coming out her nose and was so so hot. I can’t get the of her out of my head. I tried to revive her- but she was gone. I’ve buried her in the garden and will plant a rose bush over her. I feel sick with guilt I didn’t put her outside myself- I chose not to as it was still cold here at 7 and the grass was damp. My husband sat in the same room as her all day and says he just didn’t notice. I’m so angry with my husband I can barely look at him. I know it was a mistake on his part- he wouldn’t hurt an animal on purpose….but I still feel so cross with him.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 23/05/2023 21:48

You poor, poor thing OP. My heart goes out to you

Lifeomars · 23/05/2023 21:48

Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 20:38

She was so beautiful. She had such a playful nature and would try to bite my toes when ever I painted my toe nails. But yesterday she was stomping round the garden gobbling up clover and digging in the wood chips. I used to chat with her- I’d have do so both part of the conversation and I gave her a posh voice. I thought she’d out live me tbh.

She sounds such a character, affectionate and fun. You must be so shocked and upset, thinking of you

Prescottdanni123 · 23/05/2023 21:50

I'm so sorry OP. Of course she wasn't just a tortoise, she was your beloved pet.

Shhhquirrel · 23/05/2023 21:54

So sorry, what an awful shock. Take care 💐

SirenSays · 23/05/2023 21:54

Oh how awful I'm so so sorry OP. Can you have a little break from your DH, maybe stay with a friend for a few days?

She sounds like a lovely little thing. It's funny you mention her chasing your toes, my turtles would chase my fingers whenever they were painted red.

IheartNiles · 23/05/2023 22:03

Saschka · 23/05/2023 21:48

Tortoises are meant to spend 10-12 hours a day under their heat lamps - this one obviously malfunctioned if it got hot enough to kill the tortoise. That isn’t the DH’s fault, and presumably could have just as easily happened overnight without anyone noticing.

It also isn’t the DH’s fault that the tortoise got stuck upside down and so couldn’t get away from the malfunctioning lamp.

I think the husband is getting more blame for this than he actually deserves here. Yes, he forgot to let it out. That isn’t what killed the tortoise. The lamp malfunctioned.

Show quote history

Yes I also think the lamp malfunctioned, they are meant to have 12 hour access to heat lamps unless outside in very warm weather. 32c shouldn’t have killed it so I also suspect this was a fault with the lamp.

BringMeTea · 23/05/2023 22:03

Oh that is so awful OP. I am so sorry. Flowers

Startyabastard · 23/05/2023 22:04

I am SO sorry, OP, I can't even imagine your pain, pets are so much more than their species!
When you talk about giving her an accent and chattering to her, I did that with my dear black cat.... it's the epitome of a heartfelt bond... I used to tell her in a baby voice when I was going on holiday!
Honestly, without minimising your pain, and you must be heartbroken, I think it was just a tragic mistake.
Tell us more about her xxxxxx
RIP

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 23/05/2023 22:06

This is horrendous but I agree with those who are saying it's an unfortunate accident and your DH isn't entirely at fault here.

Yes, he forgot to put her out but the rest of the incidents leading up to her death weren't caused by any kind of negligence on his part.

The temperature - the lamp should never have been hot enough to cook her - tortoises are supposed to spend 10/12 hours a day under them, so it must have been faulty or set up incorrectly.

She got stuck on her back - that could have happened anywhere and at anytime and isn't a direct result of him not putting her in her run.

If the lamp was hot enough to kill her in less than 12 hours, this is something that, tragically, could have happened at any time.

I'm so sorry for your loss though.

ChairFloorWall · 23/05/2023 22:07

Saschka · 23/05/2023 21:48

Tortoises are meant to spend 10-12 hours a day under their heat lamps - this one obviously malfunctioned if it got hot enough to kill the tortoise. That isn’t the DH’s fault, and presumably could have just as easily happened overnight without anyone noticing.

It also isn’t the DH’s fault that the tortoise got stuck upside down and so couldn’t get away from the malfunctioning lamp.

I think the husband is getting more blame for this than he actually deserves here. Yes, he forgot to let it out. That isn’t what killed the tortoise. The lamp malfunctioned.

Show quote history

I agree. It’s an awful tragedy but it could’ve happened at any time if the heat lamp malfunctioned.

Budikka · 23/05/2023 22:08

You sound a beautiful soul and a genuine animal lover. I am so sorry for your loss.

Might I suggest you get another tortoise? I think you sound like the sort of person who is good with "rescue animals", meaning you would give them the love they have maybe missed in the earlier stages of their lives.

xxx

PorridgeWithSaltOrSugar · 23/05/2023 22:11

I'm so sorry op, how awful. Your husband is a lazy bastard.

Ilovebountybars · 23/05/2023 22:13

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your tortoise sounded like a lovely pet.

mommatoone · 23/05/2023 22:13

So sorry OP. I get it. Totally devastating when a pet passes away. It happened to me , i will never get over it. Big hugs💕xxx

Dibbydoos · 23/05/2023 22:14

We are all just animals. Your hubby killed her just the same as killing a different animal (a human) in my books.

WTAF.

Does your DH actually care about anything? If he'd left his child in a hot car to die would it just be brushed off as a mistake?

I'm so sorry, OP. She didn't deserve it and neither do you.

Comeonbarbiebrianharvey · 23/05/2023 22:16

I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be heartbroken.

Your dh... I would be angry... but it sounds as though he is feeling awful. It was a stupid mistake at the worse possible time, a freak accident, not helped by the fact that he forgot but he has to live with that, which must be terrible.

It's clear you loved her very much ❤️

OneHurtSpaggettio · 23/05/2023 22:16

Hi OP,
So sorry for your loss - I’ve always had a soft spot for tortoises and turtles - such lovely creatures with a calming energy. I’m sure she felt your love ❤️

Thought I’d post this written by someone who went through something similar (but different) in case it helps:
https://tortoiseforum.org/threads/death-by-heatstroke-an-unfortunate-first-post.81713/

Death by heatstroke? An unfortunate first post.

I've come on this forum for information every once in a while in the past, but never found the need to make an account. It's unfortunate that my first post be made under such circumstances. I've had a baby leopard tortoise for about 9 months now. Th...

https://tortoiseforum.org/threads/death-by-heatstroke-an-unfortunate-first-post.81713/

Lidale · 23/05/2023 22:17

I wouldn't leave him alone with a baby that's for sure.

And not it's not a reach

A tortoise is nothing in comparison to a human child and he failed to do the bare minimum.

Sorry about your pet op x

SeaStatePhenomenal · 23/05/2023 22:17

I am so so sorry 💔

Fiddlerdragon · 23/05/2023 22:17

In defence of the ops husband, this should never have been allowed to happen. It’s pretty much reptile 101 that all heat sources including lamps should be controlled with a thermostat. A good reptile one costs about £20 and lasts forever. No part of that enclosure should have got hot enough to kill an animal that wasn’t able to move

Motnight · 23/05/2023 22:19

What a beautiful girl Marigold was.

I am so sorry for your loss, Op.

CoffeeLover90 · 23/05/2023 22:19

Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 21:10

here she is

She's beautiful, I love your description of her, she sounds wonderful.
Try to remember the wonderful life she had. She was lucky to have such a kind owner, you even thought to bury her with her favourite things. A plant for her is a lovely idea. You can get some lovely tortoise garden ornaments, if that's to your taste.
It'll take time to get over, especially with it being unexpected. Be gentle to yourself.

AnnWithoutAnnie · 23/05/2023 22:19

@Luckycatyellowsky
I'm so very sorry to hear about your baby girl, Marigold.

it's terribly sad when our much loved pets die, but when it's through tragic circumstances & not old age, it's particularly harrowing.

im not sure how he could have spent the whole day working in the same room as her and not noticed, not interacting with her all day??

At first I thought I wouldn't be able to get past that & Im still not sure I could simply because he obviously didn't interact with her all day, I'd find that very negligent & uncaring. If he had it wouldn't have happened.

yes the lamp might have been faulty, yes she could have got stuck anywhere at any time, but if he was a caring person he would have noticed.

im so so sorry

RIP MARIGOLD 😘💕

Original poster
Luckycatyellowsky · 23/05/2023 22:21

I do know it was a combination of a mistake and unfortunate events. My heart still hurts though.
I think the combination being on her back and being under the light was too much for her. The light is on for 12 hours in winter - but she has a large enclosure she moves around from warm to cool sides with a pool to soak in. Being on her back she couldn’t get out of the hot side. Being on their back is also very stressful for them. Usually in summer she just a couple hours in doors with lamp then outdoors.
I’m not ignoring husband- just feel too upset to engage much.
Am going to go to bed now.
Thank you to all who sent their well wishes and kindness.

OP posts:
Cola2534 · 23/05/2023 22:21

We once had a mouse in our house and I set a humane trap while we went away for a long weekend and the neighbour agreed to check it regularly. For some reason she didn't understand that the idea was you were supposed to let the mouse out of the trap alive (I think she thought it was humane because it didn't break its back with a snap).... anyway we got home a few days later and said "I caught the mouse and left it for you in the garage". This seemed weird but when we went into the garage the humane trap was there with the mouse dead in it and so much mouse poo - it must have been alive in the trap for ages and ages, days.

I felt awful - still think of that little mouse stuck there unable to move with no food or water. I know a mouse isn't a pet - but what I'm trying to say is these horrible things happen despite our best intentions. Your DP must feel awful about it. I'm so sorry for you all, and for your tortoise.