Things that you do as and adult because you grew up in poverty.

[headache]

I was thinking about this just now as I have a different experience of childhood to a lot of my colleagues. I grew up in poverty and regularly went hungry and lived in a cold, mouldy house. Holidays were a thing other people went on and we lived very hand to mouth. As a result now as an adult and a mother of teenagers and I’m lucky to be quite comfortable there’s still some things I do that are linked back to my childhood, for example:

one of the biggest things is always having cupboards bursting with food, tinned food, soup, beans, crisps. At any given time there’s probably 20 tins of beans and 100 packets of crisps on the cupboards. The freezer is always rammed to, I have 4 teens so we eat a lot but still I have anxiety if the cupboards aren’t bursting

• toilet paper and sanitary products again we are always overstocked as I remember being a teenager and scrapping together 89p for a packet of sanitary towels or making do with toilet paper or running out
• heating - we were never allowed the heating on and showers were limited, I now refuse to sit in the cold and I fully appreciate being in the position where I don’t have to worry about the costs. We were always in emergency on the meter and it would go out and I would have to go to my Gran’s and ask fiver for a card. One of the first things I did when I got my first flat and job was buy enough electric for the month at a time so I would never run out.

my Father was a plumber and was never out of work my mother didn’t work but they were useless with money. Even 40 years later some things stick with you and I feel so sorry for any children being brought up like this and worse nowadays. It truly sucks.

I do the stocking the cupboard with tins and things too. What started off as "stuff that will keep for when I run out of money at the end of the month ".
I also still always go to the reduced section in supermarkets first to see if I can scrape together a dinner from there.

And I still keep an emergency two pound on top of the bathroom cabinet for if I run short of toilet roll or sanitary products and need to get some from the local shop. I can't even remember the last time I had to use it 😅

My DH is obsessed with our DD getting her haircut every 5 weeks, perfect teeth and dresssed well. He says this comes from growing up in relative poverty and being bullied for having home done haircuts/bad teeth etc.
He frequently tells me that every Wednesday his mum had to borrow money from her mum just to get food until Friday payday so haircuts were just an unnecessary expense.

My family all gently laugh about the doomsday cupboards I have.
That said they came in useful over covid.

I also can't really buy clothes unless they are on sale for either me of dc.

When we bought a holiday home I furnished it entirely from Facebook marketplace.

We are really very comfortable currently but I don't think that kind of upbringing really leaves you. ( (Although I've finally managed to stop taking drinks and food out of the lounge and onto the airplane, because I do understand I can have unlimited amounts of both on the plane)

I genuinely give a little prayer of thanks EVERY time I put heating on.
Also no clothes unless on sale (but more than happy to purchase kid's clothes at full price)

Not me but my mum. She buys nearly all her clothes from charity shops - she is horrified at the price of new clothes even though she could well afford them. She recently told me how her mum had to porn things to buy her her school uniform so the clothes thing makes a bit more sense to me.

Cupboards always full
Clothes that always fit the dc
Clean dc
Clean uniform everyday
Hair brushed and just well looked after
After school activities for the kids
Access to food/snacks for the kids

I know some of those don't relate to poverty but just somethings I hated growing up.

I always have plenty of clean towels, loads of clean underwear/socks for everyone, toilet roll, toothpaste and sanitary products in the house. All these things were in very short supply or non-existent in my house when I was young.
It stays with you when you didn't have the means for basic hygiene growing up.

I lived in fear as a child of the electricity being cut off, my parents were always talking about not being able to pay it. I lay in bed thinking a man was going to get into the house and cut the power. Food was beyond basic.

I Always need to know there’s a full freezer and food cupboard.
Have really nice shampoo, conditioner and always buy French or Italian soap as these were the cheapest, harshest as a child.
And a savings account. My number one fear is one of the dc or dgc in real need of something and I’d not be able to pay for it.

I don't like parting with money unless I have to.

Really struggle to throw things out.

Always eat the meat if I can't finish a whole meal.

Eat quickly watching others to see if they are likely to get more than me (was youngest in large family)

Don't spend on things like haircuts as much as I need to.

Always made sure my children's white socks were white and not a discolored grey.
Bad memories of having awful socks.

Overstocking/warehousing, yes.
Always cleaning my plate and being careful to get through food before it goes manky.
Sharing my current good luck at being well enough off with others at any opportunity, I'm always first in with a round or whatever.

Always put an extra jumper on instead of turning the heating on. Never waste any food. Don’t really do Christmas. And will always try to make or fix something rather than buy something. The whole idea of spending money unnecessarily makes me anxious.

We didn't grow up in poverty exactly, always had enough food etc but there was no money for luxuries. Same for DH.

We only went on three family holidays and I rarely went in holiday as an adult until I met DH. Now we have at least two holidays every year plus two or three European city breaks - it's our kickback against our frugal upbringings.

Always clear my plate
Never waste food
Rarely buy new clothes
Feel massively disappointed if I haven't managed to add to the savings pot at the end of a month

Yes to over sticking, I didn't ever click this was related until having counselling. A small one but I always still break the stalks off of brocoli if buying it loose hah.

Not buying things even if I could afford them through fear I might need that money for something more important soon if I suddenly don't have enough to cover the very basics. For example, only getting my hair cut once a year at max.

Generally being really careful about what I spend.

Teaching my children the value of money.

Overstocking just to make sure there is always enough food and hygiene products.

I find it hard getting rid of things but I am getting better.

Super careful with putting the heating on.

Can't imagine buying expensive cars or branded things even if I could now afford them.

I'm still not well off though.

O and valuing education, not that it has actually helped my life financially unfortunately.

Oh my god this has given me a total light bulb moment. I am the same, have to have full cupboards, panic if I haven't got DC the next size up of clothes or school uniform, hate them wearing clothes with pen or stains on. Hate them looking scruffy or unkempt. Always thinking ahead have I got enough money for next month, can we afford a holiday, and regretting spending money on myself. I always thought it was my anxiety and perfectionism causing this but maybe its because I grew up poor too.

I remember one winter there wasn't enough money for the central heating so we had to make do with the coal fire and my mum would make us tomato soup for tea to warm us up.

Always have lots of cleaning stuff, washing powder, soap, deodorant type things in.
I can't let anything run out.
Everything has to be fully stocked.

I always have backups for every food and household product. I finish a washing up liquid for example, I have a replacement already there and then I buy a new one so I never run out.

Looking at how much food items cost per kg/grams on the supermarket labels and picking the most affordable option.

I save a third of my salary.

I spend little. I buy clothes only in sales, i go out to eat with friends 1 or 2 times a month. I eat home cooked food, good quality, no frills.

I try to follow the waste not want not mentally and get a little bit of gratification from using the last bit of toothpaste, or ink in the pen, or food item etc.

I enjoy simple things quite happily.

I appreciate what i have.

But i can tend to be too stingy, when we need a new dishwasher or something i always end up selecting the cheapest. My DH had to take over as i just could not make myself buy the better reviewed pricier item!

Stocking the cupboards / fridge etc and feeling anxious if we start to run low on supplies.

Making sure there are enough towels and general hygiene items for everyone in the house, plus spares.

Appreciating that when I go to the supermarket, I don't have to add up the cost of the shopping as I go, just in case I need to put something back.

Appreciating having a car after many years of only ever walking or using public transport.

I'm sure there are a few more! In general, I don't think having grown up in poverty ever truly leaves a person.

Yes to heating whenever I want plus I have scalding hot water when I have a bath.
Fabric softener.
Refusal to buy from the charity shop even when I was skint as an adult or now second hand is a positive environmental choice.
We can afford it but I also did this even when I couldn't really. Just a fuck you to growing up poor.