Things that you do as and adult because you grew up in poverty.

[headache]

I was thinking about this just now as I have a different experience of childhood to a lot of my colleagues. I grew up in poverty and regularly went hungry and lived in a cold, mouldy house. Holidays were a thing other people went on and we lived very hand to mouth. As a result now as an adult and a mother of teenagers and I’m lucky to be quite comfortable there’s still some things I do that are linked back to my childhood, for example:

one of the biggest things is always having cupboards bursting with food, tinned food, soup, beans, crisps. At any given time there’s probably 20 tins of beans and 100 packets of crisps on the cupboards. The freezer is always rammed to, I have 4 teens so we eat a lot but still I have anxiety if the cupboards aren’t bursting

• toilet paper and sanitary products again we are always overstocked as I remember being a teenager and scrapping together 89p for a packet of sanitary towels or making do with toilet paper or running out
• heating - we were never allowed the heating on and showers were limited, I now refuse to sit in the cold and I fully appreciate being in the position where I don’t have to worry about the costs. We were always in emergency on the meter and it would go out and I would have to go to my Gran’s and ask fiver for a card. One of the first things I did when I got my first flat and job was buy enough electric for the month at a time so I would never run out.

my Father was a plumber and was never out of work my mother didn’t work but they were useless with money. Even 40 years later some things stick with you and I feel so sorry for any children being brought up like this and worse nowadays. It truly sucks.

Food in the cupboard.

But much bigger for me is cleanliness. I grew up in an awful situation. No soap, toothpaste, sanitary wear etc. let alone having enough clothes.

So I'd have nothing to wash with, but it wasn't expected. So I didn't learn to wash every day or brush my teeth twice a day, then added to that. I had one set of uniform to last all week, that was only washed at the weekend, towels were reused by everyone over and over until they stunk, and then even more. I can't ever remember bedding being washed.
so I stunk; and was picked on, bullied relentlessly, I had straggly unwashed hair, dirty clothes and body and no clue.

Now, my DD (10) is on her third try at natural deodorant, we have so many stocks of soap, shampoo, conditioner, etc it's like a shop. She has a new uniform
for every single day, and bedding is washed every single week throughout.

I also nag over showers, teeth, hair etc.

Im definitely not frugal either. I love holidays and me and DD are seeing so much of the world, I should save more, but I want to travel and she's a pretty good companion.

I have to be marginally careful I don't go OTT with DD though. I can happily spend so much on her and us doing stuff and I need to sometimes watch that.

Both my parents grew up in poverty, never enough food, no heating, hand-me-down, worn out clothes, once a week baths with second (or third) hand water.

As a result, my house was always over stocked. I could invite numerous friends around for tea or sleepovers abs there was always enough food and towels etc to go around.
Me and dsis had the best of everything and were always immaculately turned out.
While my dad doesn't buy himself much and will wear the same clothes until they fall to pieces, my mum will treat herself regularly and absolutely refuses to look at charity shops or second hand anything.

It's so strange because I'm eco conscious and will try and buy second hand as much as possible, I don't like buying clothes and house stuff for the sake of it and it causes arguments with my mum. She's horrified at the thought people we know may see me walk into a charity shop and think I'm poor

I didn't grow up in poverty, but hall/stairs lights always off if not in use, so I do tend to leave mine on!

No poverty for me but I had an older dsis so always had hand me downs. Now my clothes are immaculate, mostly high end and designer.
House was always cold, we have the heating on whenever we like.
One bathroom between five, now we have one each.
DH grew up in poverty - not enough food we go to M&S, farm shops, deli's and eat out in expensive restaurants.
He barely had Christmas/birthday presents and we both spoiled our dc and still do now they are adults.
No nice clothes - last jacket he bought was £500
He had two childhood holidays - our dc have been abroad as well as on cruises etc every year. We have several holidays abroad every year and take dc still and now gdc

I cannot get a taxi or Uber - it just seems like incredible extravagance, when I could catch a bus or walk. Ridiculous, I could easily afford a taxi but just cannot bring myself to spend the money.

I’ll happily spend much more than a taxi fare on food etc, but taxis specifically are a symbol of unimaginable decadence

I do the same with food!
The pantry is always packed and I start to panic when we run low on things, I remember always running out of food when growing up.
I used to be the same regarding heating, however, due to the sky rocketing costs of gas, we've had to really cut down on how much we have the heating on.

Another food hoarder here. I'm not rich by any means and have to have a strict budget but we'll never be without food thankfully. I also eat everything on my plate or food when I'm not hungry. Habit I've not managed to break sadly

Oh god yes. And tinned carrots.

We often had empty cupboards. I always stock up and I bake a lot of treats.

We went through a rough month recently and the DC barely noticed.

Even on the darkest coldest says, we lit a fire and watched a film. We had homemade cookies and homemade popcorn.

My mum used to be depressed and the kitchen was rarely clean. My house is spotless. I used to deep clean my childhood home from the age of 8.

I always make sure DC have school uniform that's clean and nice shoes.

Oh god yes can’t stand instant mash, tinned carrots or tinned potatoes. 🤢🤢🤢

Didn’t grow up poor, but went through a seriously broke couple of years when the kids were babies. I do the food stocking in the cupboard thing too! I also keep emergency cash hidden all over the place just in case I run out of money at the end of the month, I can use the cash to buy food.

I didn't grow up in poverty but I was in an abusive marriage and was never allowed to have enough money, even for the basics for me and the DC. It really screwed with my head, finance-wise. Eight years on, I'm still terrible with money but feel guilty and selfish whenever I buy anything for myself. I've only recently started getting my hair cut regularly. I have stocks of long-life food and toiletries in the loft (came in handy during covid!). The DC never go without and are probably a bit spoiled.

I didn't grow up in poverty, however I had a couple of years in my early 20's when I split with my exDP and literally couldn't afford the basics for DD and I. My biggest hangup from this time is relating to food shopping, I remember so vividly some days not having any food in the house, would give DD porridge for breakfast, lunch and dinner because we literally had nothing else, I barely ate anything. I would go to do the food shop and walk round with my phone calculator working out to the penny what I could spend, literally buying the basics so my DD had food. The irony is my parents would have helped if they knew but I felt like such a failure I couldn't tell them until much later when we were out of the other side.
Through good fortune and hardwork I am in a very different position now but refuse to eat porridge or give it to my DC, and I get horrendous anxiety about food shopping. When I was on mat leave with DS a couple of years back and we were trying to be more frugal I kept having panic attacks in the supermarket. We had no need to be so budget conscious but it took me straight back to those difficult days.
I now donate monthly to my local food bank, if I see another person struggling at the till I offer to pay and I thank my lucky stars every day that I am in such a fortunate position.

Oh and hair cuts, it has only been in the last 12 months that I have started getting my hair done regularly, I had a promotion with a decent payrise and it was my promise to myself that I would get my hair done every 3 months because for years I couldn't justify the cost.

I also get my hair cut properly every 8 weeks, food cupboards are full, my children have 6 sets of full uniform each so they always look smart and are not teased about being scruffy, shoes polished weekly.
The one that upsets my husband often is I regularly still sleep on the floor or sofa, I naturally feel comfortable there rather than a bed because I didn't have one until I went into foster care for the last time.

Booking holidays and weekends away.

Ensure DC have nice clothes from decent shops, no stains, replace things grown out of promptly.

Never buy the dupe / cheap / fake version of things. We're very generous at Christmas and birthdays and will pay a premium for good quality items.

I'm still scarred by bullies laughing at my clothes at school and being embarrassed about what I got for my birthday etc. Being poor was pretty miserable for me.

Thankfully I now have a good income and standard of living, but I do get a bit angsty near the end of the month about what's in the current account, even though I know bills are paid, food cupboards full and money has been put in various savings pots.

I stock the cupboards and loo rolls. At lock down I had 34 cans of chopped tomatoes "just in case" nothing to do with lock down, I just overstock. I had 12 packets of pasta too, consequently I didn't need to queue up

Not me but my DF said that he recalled from his childhood always feeling hungry. He was so grateful for every meal that was cooked for him. He watched the bills constantly despite being comfortably off . Oddly he was extremely generous to my siblings and I and we were quite spoilt .
An ex boyfriend of mine had grown up.with a single mother and I gather times were hard. He really hated food to be wasted and would freeze everything and make omelettes with leftovers. Took food home from restaurants too . Once even a single onion ring . I found it strange but realised how his childhood affected him.

I overeat. I remember being hungry as a kid and easily fatigued because I wasn't getting enough calories. I spoil myself with food now - too much. Eating feels like I'm treating myself... Trying to diet is very triggering....

Also, I've have an very risk-averse, especially with money. Give me £100 and I'll put it in savings rather than spend it. And I have house/life insurance up to the eyeballs....

Always plenty of food in the house, it’s warm and I’m clean and have clothes and shoes that fit. I grew up without these things, I have a poor relationship with food which is something I never admit to in real life. My little toes aren’t that great due to wearing shoes that were too small and I remember having knickers that were so small they cut into skin making me really sore. Matted hair from not being brushed and being bullied because I wasn’t in clean clothes.
I shower and wash my hair every day, it’s always brushed and shiny, my teeth are clean and so are my clothes. I look a million miles from the pale sad little girl I was but the feeling and the fear never leaves.

Over 35 years since I left my parents home. I still thrill at a deep hot bath and no time limit.
As frugal as it was in the '70's, I never thought I would be poorer still as a married woman and after as a single parent.
I keep a well stocked freezer now and back up cleaning and hygiene goods. Dd has snacks, treats and brand new clothes. May she never know differently.

I have an Armageddon amount of food.
Food is still a treat. Which has led to food issues.
I feel constantly guilty about spending money. And I have had issues with splurging and not considering tomorrow before eg spending every penny I have.

Relative to now, clothes were very expensive back in the 70s and 80s. As a kid we had our school uniforms and maybe one or two other outfits, and only one pair of shoes to wear with everything, max. I'll never get over the shame of being laughed at. So now, my wardrobes are bursting and I have loads of pairs of shoes.

I also have loads of toiletries, bottles of deodorant everywhere etc. And, like other posters, I have packed food cupboards and 2 freezers full.

I dont do the overstocking. I still shop frugally to meal plans and dont spend on extra as I might need the cash.
Buy clothes on ebay and charity shops
Reuse bags,wrapping paper,ribbons etc
Make my own herbal remedies and skincare
Bulk out family meals with pulses and carbs
Rarely buy new things like cushions or lamps etc. If its still serviceable then it doesnt need to be replaced.
Do all my own decorating.

Another overstocker here, and especially toilet roll. Has to be Andrex, generally have a 16 pack - for 2 of us .
Pantry is full most of the time, as is the bathroom cabinet.
But I also use my best stuff - wear the clothes, throw them out when they are done. My dear mum was so frugal, lots kept for best and she dressed very modestly unless it was a special occasion. I am not a fancy dresser, but I like quality and hate wearing anything messy or bobbled.