Things that you do as and adult because you grew up in poverty.

[headache]

I was thinking about this just now as I have a different experience of childhood to a lot of my colleagues. I grew up in poverty and regularly went hungry and lived in a cold, mouldy house. Holidays were a thing other people went on and we lived very hand to mouth. As a result now as an adult and a mother of teenagers and I’m lucky to be quite comfortable there’s still some things I do that are linked back to my childhood, for example:

one of the biggest things is always having cupboards bursting with food, tinned food, soup, beans, crisps. At any given time there’s probably 20 tins of beans and 100 packets of crisps on the cupboards. The freezer is always rammed to, I have 4 teens so we eat a lot but still I have anxiety if the cupboards aren’t bursting

• toilet paper and sanitary products again we are always overstocked as I remember being a teenager and scrapping together 89p for a packet of sanitary towels or making do with toilet paper or running out
• heating - we were never allowed the heating on and showers were limited, I now refuse to sit in the cold and I fully appreciate being in the position where I don’t have to worry about the costs. We were always in emergency on the meter and it would go out and I would have to go to my Gran’s and ask fiver for a card. One of the first things I did when I got my first flat and job was buy enough electric for the month at a time so I would never run out.

my Father was a plumber and was never out of work my mother didn’t work but they were useless with money. Even 40 years later some things stick with you and I feel so sorry for any children being brought up like this and worse nowadays. It truly sucks.

I think it's interesting the adults who were poor as children but are now wealthy/comfortable seem to fall into two camps - spending too much/wasteful and frugality.
I am the former! 😳😳

@Towelie noooooooo

they're the best bit !! Sliced then oven rusted/baked or pan fried! Yummmmm

After using the oven I leave the door open so it heats the room, even if I have the heating on, little things like that don't leave you.

Like most others, I have food fully stocked but always try and make sure there's a variety for us and DC.

The never ending fried and beige foods from childhood makes me feel sick.

Checking price per kg in supermarket labels. Buying yellow sticker food.

I find it really difficult to spend money on food, I wear my shoes with holes in until Christmas when I treat myself to new ones.

I don't drink or smoke or buy new clothes. I think about every single purchase and get dizzy when I'm at a till when I don't know the total of what I'm buying in advance.

Poverty hands down has had the biggest effect on me as an adult.

oh and I will never eat instant mash again for as long as I live!

Oh god, this is me. I didn't really realise this was a "thing" until I read this thread, but definitely the fully stocked cupboards and freezer. As a kid I was often hungry, and we ate really badly. I don't want the same for my children.

New shoes for the kids, whenever they need them - and good quality ones too.

I also tend to spoil my kids a bit with days out and buying "treats" when we're there. I'll say yes to popcorn at the cinema or a toy from the gift shop as this was the sort of stuff I genuinely dreamed of being able to do. They've been all over the place and done things I didn't do until I was in my 20s and 30s. My own horizons were so narrow as a child, and I don't want that for them.

The comedian Rob Beckett is very interesting on the "poverty mindset" He says at the beginning of lockdown he had a contract to write a book, but took ages to persuade himself it was OK to buy himself a laptop- he thought he ought to use the one his wife and kids were using for her work and home schooling when they had finished in the evening. Also, he loves Lego, but feels he has to wait for his birthday or Christmas for a new set. And as he says "He's earning!"

Interesting how often toilet paper features. We sometimes had to use newspaper. Grim. I feel happy if I have double of anything, deodorant etc. I check my bank account EVERY day even tho I don't need to.

Always having tins in my cupboard

I think I seesaw rather wildly depending on the area.
So too much food, cleaning products etc.
Buying clothes in sale.

But we travel a lot, I take long hot showers and use lots of heating. I have non flash but nice cars, very reliable and rust free. Petrol always topped up.

Mines food too. As a child we went though periods of having money and living well, to having not a lot and the thing I most remember is sometimes being hungry. I now always make sure we have loads of food in and my kids never go hungry.

DH was brought up poor by patents who weren't poor. He hid the trip letters rather than ask. Consequently our dc went on trips that I would have said no to and in the end I said one educational trip per year, one big trip every other year: ski-ing, sports tours to other continents for example.

DH is also very fussy about his clothes - good quality socks and undies, cashmere jumpers, good shirts and shoes.

Oddly, I like well stocked cupboards, freezer, toiletries, despite always having had enough and it drives DH bonkers and yet he was hungry as a child and everything was rationed or measured and his mother shopped daily, stretching 3/4lb Mince around two adults and three teenagers.

Buy really, really nice food and ingredients now but never waste food. Generally save like mad, just in case, and check bank balance every day.

The presents thing is definitely something I do. The concept of buying a present when not Xmas or birthday still seems mad to me! It's resulted in two intrinsically motivated, unspoilt DC though 😂
I guess I am also I the frugal camp at times.

Yup, me too. Always have a " just in case" meal in the freezer, plus tins, UHT milk, flour, lentils ect.
I still get the very last drop out of bottles of shampoo, washing up liquid ect, adding water and leaving upside down overnight even though there is a full bottle of whatever in the cupboard.
Getting coffee " out ", just seems a waste of money when I have coffee in the house.
Charity shop clothes shopping .
Putting off things I need, ie dental work.

I tend not to put on the heating if I am home alone even if I am going blue with cold. Equally I don't like to put on the oven for one until I bought a desk top oven in sale. I don't reaĺly use the tumble dryer at all. I take super super fast showers to the point that I bought a cheap shower head thing for my sink that I can totally was out the shampoo from my hair.

Due to ill fitting and damaged shoes, I had ingrown toenails until I became an adult and I have clawhammer toes. My son has 3 pairs of shoes on the go at all times that are carefully measured to his size. 1 for school, 1 for playing, 1 for best.

Not related to poverty but I don't allow raised voices in our house, if you can't say it in a calm and measured tone, don't say it at all.

Not replacing a broken or worn out item unless it is totally beyond using any more. I wear clothes that are a bit too small, for example, because they still have wear in them. conversely my children get plenty of new stuff because I don't want them to stand out amongst their friends by only having a small selection of items that are worn to death.

And not buying myself anything unless I really really need it. The comment from Rob Beckett really resonates.

I have a good wage and put a lot into savings. Still scared to spend money.

I am the same with food. I always buy too much now. I was often hungry as a child and once got shouted at by my Dad because I ate a loaf of bread he put next to me in the back of the car. I must have been really hungry to do that, because I remember knowing he would shout at me when the car stopped. So now I buy too much, and I eat too much. It’s hard.

I do lots of things mentioned in PPs, didn't necessarily grow up in poverty but things were certainly not as plentiful or as easy to get where we lived and consequently how I live has been influenced a little by this. Everything was cooked from scratch, I learned how to make a meal from very few ingredients, how to bake and the importance of a full store cupboard. Food was never wasted and leftovers from Sunday roast were used to make something like soup or curry on Monday. While I enjoy eating out i sometimes wince at the cost of it especially if I think we could have cooked it at home while DH enjoys the experience.

I can't see any food go to waste at all. Will pop it in the freezer or fridge and eat it another time.
I'm always saving as much money as I can so my son never has to go without.
I prioritise nice days out for him over things for myself.
And I always feel very blessed to have enough money that my son doesn't live in a cold house with frost on the inside of the windows.

When I was a child we would be sent to the butcher’s to ask ‘any bones for the dog?’ if they had a decent amount of meat on them, she’d make a stew from them. One time she left it to cool and the cat knocked it to the floor. We helped her scoop it back into the pot so we could have something to eat. I have never forgotten that.

So now I can’t bear to waste food. Every time we have roast chicken I make soup from the carcass and I strip all the bones and give the manky bits of meat to the cat. I can afford to throw it away.

The first time I met my ex’s grandmother she had made a little buffet lunch with a small chicken and other pieces. When I was helping to wash up I saw it in the kitchen bin, they had used the breast only then chucked it. I was literally itching to pull it out.

Checking the fluid levels in my car weekly. My dad always drove crappy old bangers that leaked oil, brake fluid, water, etc. He drilled it into me to always check fluids and tyre pressure every weekend as it saves petrol. Modern cars don't need to be checked quite so often but I can't break the habit.

Perform all diy and household maintenance tasks myself where possible. It wouldn't even occur to me to hire a decorator or a gardener unless I was physically incapable.

Showers and laundry. I was only allowed a shower once a week max and clothes went a long time between washes. We were told to wear over and over - including underwear. And we had very little to rotate. Now I shower every day and so do the children. Am fastidious about clean clothes / stained clothes / having enough underwear for 2 weeks if needed etc.

I also will eat pretty much anything and clear my plate. Growing up there was no other food at all.

I will
Never, ever, ever wear second hand clothes again.