Things that you do as and adult because you grew up in poverty.

[headache]

I was thinking about this just now as I have a different experience of childhood to a lot of my colleagues. I grew up in poverty and regularly went hungry and lived in a cold, mouldy house. Holidays were a thing other people went on and we lived very hand to mouth. As a result now as an adult and a mother of teenagers and I’m lucky to be quite comfortable there’s still some things I do that are linked back to my childhood, for example:

one of the biggest things is always having cupboards bursting with food, tinned food, soup, beans, crisps. At any given time there’s probably 20 tins of beans and 100 packets of crisps on the cupboards. The freezer is always rammed to, I have 4 teens so we eat a lot but still I have anxiety if the cupboards aren’t bursting

• toilet paper and sanitary products again we are always overstocked as I remember being a teenager and scrapping together 89p for a packet of sanitary towels or making do with toilet paper or running out
• heating - we were never allowed the heating on and showers were limited, I now refuse to sit in the cold and I fully appreciate being in the position where I don’t have to worry about the costs. We were always in emergency on the meter and it would go out and I would have to go to my Gran’s and ask fiver for a card. One of the first things I did when I got my first flat and job was buy enough electric for the month at a time so I would never run out.

my Father was a plumber and was never out of work my mother didn’t work but they were useless with money. Even 40 years later some things stick with you and I feel so sorry for any children being brought up like this and worse nowadays. It truly sucks.

I will never let the current account drop below £1000 in case all the bills go out twice (I have no basis to believe this would actually ever happen).
Grew up intermittently poor and flush, dependent on parents work and spending.
They'd get a bit of work, feel flush, buy a holiday to Florida, then have no more work and nothing for the electric meter (but still the balance to pay on the holiday).
It's left me with a horror of debt/credit and I have neither.
A chaotic childhood has left me with a need to plan. I feel very uneasy if I don't know what expenses are coming up and how to pay them.

I never had named brand trainers growing up, we just couldn't afford it, my 1st pay chq got name brand and now 20+ years later live in skechers lol

Mil grew up in relative poverty, her cupboards are rammed whether it's food or cleaning products or medicine / toothpaste etc.

She keeps being us food, to the point we physically can't store it.

It's hard because I get where she's coming from but at the same time I can't store three chickens and six steaks in my freezer along with my regular shipping and it ends up getting wasted.

I grew up with parents that had money but refused to spend it on us kids-they where (and still are) loaded

I refuse to turn on the heating if its only me in the house

Cupboards have to be stocked to the point I can't close the door

I have to have at least 6 months worth of soap,shampoo,dishwasher tablets,cleaning sprays,toothpaste and brushes etc

I buy second hand clothes-for eco reasons-but they have to be pretty-im not fussed about practical-i never had nice clothes as a kid

I buy stuff and will cling to it-my mother would swoop in and bin stuff just because she could-often id saved to buy it and she'd just get rid-my lot had full say in stuff we got rid of-it was their stuff

I'd buy the kids whatever they where into rather than what I wanted them to be into-i was never 'allowed' to just be 'me'

For example,as a kid,I was bonkers about my little pony and horses-was not 'allowed' to love them-i had 3 my little ponies (and a fake one)as a kid-one was a christmas present and the rest donated-i got to the bag before my mother had chance to bin them

My own kids had more moshi monsters,groovy chick,boobah,doctor who and football stuff that they knew what to do with

I made sure they had good quality shoes and clothes-always clean and hated stains/holes-I got cheap plastic shoes that fell apart within a fortnight (and id get a slap for being 'hard on them'-i wasnt,they where just shite quailty)or hand me downs with holes in them-I'm still paying the price for those shoes

My house has to be nicely decorated-kids had full say in how their rooms where done-i had no choice in mine

Funny how these things affect you even if you don't think too hard about it

I buy too much food and often have duplicates of toiletries and cleaning products in the cupboard

I never turn down the opportunity for overtime, even if I'm knackered and don't really need the money at that point and I usually have a second job, even though I have a full-time job as a manager in the NHS, the more I work, the more secure I feel

I feel guilty buying myself expensive things and usually go with my philosophy of 'second shittest' in the supermarket. I haven't forgotten going round the supermarket with a calculator to make sure I could afford what I'd picked up. I never buy fake, though, I'd rather have nothing than have people know I couldn't afford the real thing

We weren't desperately poor during my childhood although there was definitely financial insecurity. We were very much working class and my dad lost his job a couple of times during the 90s due to the recession. I vividly remember the fear we would lose our house if he didn't get a new one very quickly as there was no buffer. He was also an alcoholic which had a significant impact on our family finances

My son lives in a different world to the one I grew up. He has no idea how lucky he is. We're not rich by any means but he has things and experiences that I could only have dreamed of as a child

Thank you for this thread… I have just now been reading about scarcity mindset (I had never heard of that before seeing it mentioned here). My parents were war babies and both hoarded tons of stuff. When the Brexit/covid chaos hit because my mum brought me up to always have “spares” in the cupboards of food and cleaning stuff we were well stocked. Like others I will do overtime even when I don’t need to so I can have a better buffer in my account. Currently trying to help my mum declutter her home for a potential downsizing and she’s finding it really hard to let go of clothes as she had so few growing up.
Anyone else here with inter generational effects going on?

Up until this absolute clusterfuck of an energy crisis, I would always put my heating on if it was chilly without even thinking about it. My house has always been toasty in the winter….whereas when I was a kid, we often spent winter nights with me and Dsis snuggled in bed with our parents because they could only afford to heat one room at a time - the house had no central heating, just an old gas fire in the living room and electric space heaters in the bedroom that cost a fortune to run!

I have always actively managed my career in terms of staying ahead of the game (in tech) and I make sure I'm never dependent on anyone (including my DP).

I totally get this OP

Always in credit with gas/electric
I do a Christmas savings club so I'm never broke around that time of the year
Cupboards filled and multiple back ups of everything especially toilet roll/sanitary pads etc
I also like buying lovely soft towels that match and good quality bedding

I'm sure I do some other things that I don't even think about but these are the things I recognise from having it difficult as a child

I relate. Grew up with fairly poor and incredibly stingy parents. No heating upstairs except on Christmas Day (!), bath 3x week in reused water, barely enough to cover legs. Never eating out, ever. 2 biscuits only at a time etc.

As an adult, I am the total opposite. I will put the heating on rather than a jumper. Big foamy baths, shower every day. My kids have their favourite cafes and restaurants because for them it is completely normal to eat out. No rationing food. I don't overstock my cupboards though, maybe because I did always have enough to eat even if I didn't like it.

I am financially careful though - always have a big rainy day fund, insurance, savings. It was my priority from the day I left home to be financially independent and comfortable, and it was a big driver and motivating factor for being in the position I am today.

When my kids were young, having immense satisfaction at plenty of food in the house.

I always have a $100 bill in my handbag for emergencies, even though I use Google pay for almost everything.

This is by far the most important thing you can do.

Over stocked cupboards, fridge, bathroom etc. Stbxh who grew up comfortable and I have very different attitudes to money. I'd never run up debt but I don't why our DC with SEN should do without things that might help them if we have the money. Money feels transitory, I tend to turn it into things because the money can disappear but the physical purchases can't. I know I overdo it, but stbxh goes to the opposite extreme. Neither of us have a balanced view on the issue.

With you on this OP... To be honest we arnt well off but

Cupboards always stocked in case I get to end of month and am running low. Treats always stocked plus toiletries.

Basically anything that we went without.

Both DC have branded trainers because I never did and was bullied.

Same with new shoes.

I buy uniform before summer holidays and always buy a pack of shirts/trousers in next size as I won't allow them to be in too small clothing.

Winter coat etc bought in next size up a year early just in case anything happens and I cant afford one

Blankets, hats, gloves, onsies and pyjamas are well stocked as I worry about them being cold.

I bargain hunt for my clothes but kids are well dressed. If anyone goes without it's me.

Do any of your parents comment on your spending habits now? Mine think I spend too much. But I can't bear not having back ups of food, shampoos, sanitary products

I forever feel like a scrubber. Was called a scrubber. Feel this deep to my core.

@dudsville Re: toothpaste tubes - do you cut off the top end to get some more out from under the shoulders of the tube....

Hard to explain, but usually buying cheap, and on the odd occasion when I do force myself to get a more upmarket version, I then have to review it's quality and usually feel let down and like I've been done! It's almost like the things i thought I was missing out on as a kid aren't really that great or exciting when you can afford it?

Guarding my food , eating quickly not sharing my food

My clothes always smelled bad and I was bullied for it.
I make sure my children are always pristine with fresh clothes. They'll never wear a single item of clothing two days in a row as it'll be straight in the washing machine.

I grew up in a single parent family on a council estate. Free school meals, school uniform vouchers, the lot. We didn’t have a phone, never mind a car. If food banks had been a thing back then, we would certainly have used them.

Now, I am comfortably off, but not wealthy, and my attitude to money still betrays my background. I am extremely financially risk-averse. I know that I should be able to accept some degree of risk in my investments, but I simply cannot bear the idea of losing money I have worked so hard to earn, so my savings sit in ISAs, earning nothing. Similarly, I cannot bear waste of any kind, but particularly of food.

I was brought up in poverty as a child by parents who were far from poor, especially singled out from my siblings. It was a form of abuse.

I do find it hard to spend money on myself.

I can definitely relate to having the cupboards bursting with foods I also have two fridge freezers . I'm so glad my children can open the fridge (without asking) and take anything out to eat and drink all the milk they like .

Also never fail to appreciate having hot water in the tap ALL the time whenever .
My parents never could afford to have hot water all the time , there was only hot water for once a week bath.
It's sad there are still people living like this .