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Original poster

Husband eats weekly shop in 2 days

186 replies

husbandfoodproblems · 06/05/2023 21:15

Same as most people, we are now on a tight budget. We are a family of 3, son 7, H and I been together 12 years. I'm disabled, we make do, I mend my own socks and pants etc etc
He's had an IVA in the past, so he knows what he is doing. He is and has always been a big man but with the cost of living it is getting so hard to cope.
He will not eat any meal without meat. I have tried, he refuses and complains about the 'horrible food' in front of our son. He has a BMI of around 35 now, wears 3xl at 6'1 and 117 kg.
I don't mind what he looks like. I fancy him fine and I don't want to body shame but we can't afford his attitude. The trigger for my post today is we shopped 'for the week' (£100) two days ago but I just realised he has eaten NINE sausages and a pack of bacon, among other stuff today, and bought more food while he was out leaving me short to pay my credit card and phone bill.
My son and I eat normally and are normal BMI. I'm by no means slim, really and love my sweets but this is insane.
I can't tell him, he goes mad. Short of a locking box in the fridge (not even joking) what do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
husbandfoodproblems · 06/05/2023 21:18

Sorry, I shoukd clarify, it's not just meat. It's everything!!

OP posts:
Ginnybaby · 06/05/2023 21:18

do you not have your own money?

FLOWER1982 · 06/05/2023 21:18

Don’t go shopping again. That’s it if he’s eaten it beans on toast till the next shop. And have a serious conversation.

shivawn · 06/05/2023 21:20

Does he understand that that's the food budget and that you can't afford to buy more? What's his solution?

Original poster
husbandfoodproblems · 06/05/2023 21:20

Yes, I have my own money but we have a family food budget and money is very tight. It's not a matter of just buying more, we are in a position where we have to be careful right now.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 21:20

Shop for the food daily so he can’t eat it

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 06/05/2023 21:20

9 Sausages and a pack of bacon 2 himself is just greedy. Do you not have meals 2gether?

TooOldForThisNonsense · 06/05/2023 21:22

That’s just total greed. What a pig.

what does he say when you tell him there’s no more money for food so when he’s being a greedy pig his family are going to end up hungry?

I’d buy a week of veggie food. Cheaper and he’ll have to eat it if there’s nowt else.

FurAndFeathers · 06/05/2023 21:23

He needs to come up with a solution. What’s his answer?

just being angry at you because he’s left you and you son nothing to eat is abusive and selfish - he essentially expects you to starve and not complain about it so that he can gorge himself. He needs help

Original poster
husbandfoodproblems · 06/05/2023 21:24

Sometimes meals together but not always and I'm vegetarian. I don't eat as often as he does maybe twice a day, he will have 4 meals and then slices of bread with jam, nutella, every coffee with heaped sugar and chocolate powder. He even puts chocolate powder over coco pops and won't eat fruit without cream all over.

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 06/05/2023 21:25

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 21:20

Shop for the food daily so he can’t eat it

So she should go shopping every day because a grown man behaves likes a selfish child?

Thats not actually a serious suggestion is it?

I'd find it very hard to respect a partner who behaves like that, short of locking the food away which would be ridiculous I don't know what the answer is if you want to continue living with him

Original poster
husbandfoodproblems · 06/05/2023 21:25

I don't really have time to shop every day.

OP posts:
Bluebelle82 · 06/05/2023 21:28

I also have a DH who can empty the fridge in one night. I recently bought a 2nd hand Lakeland yoghurt maker that makes 7 pots of natural yoghurt. These are now in the fridge for when he has scoffed everything - and they are properly filling! I reckon it saves about 70% of the cost to make yoghurt myself. DH adds a tsp of jam to make it sweeter.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 06/05/2023 21:29

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 06/05/2023 21:25

So she should go shopping every day because a grown man behaves likes a selfish child?

Thats not actually a serious suggestion is it?

I'd find it very hard to respect a partner who behaves like that, short of locking the food away which would be ridiculous I don't know what the answer is if you want to continue living with him

Show quote history

And what do you suggest instead? A padlock for the fridge?

Changing an inconsiderate husband it is not easy. Op, I suggest you start putting yourself and your child first, he obviously isn’t. And yes, buying for you and your child everyday is terrible but you really need to think about you and your child first in order to put the building blocks to sort his behaviour or leave him.

Notanotherone5 · 06/05/2023 21:30

A practical solution is to freeze the meat, then just defrost as and when you need it

However, there’s bigger issues here. You need to sit down with him to understand what he wants - is it that he wants to cut down but can’t resist if the food is in front of him? Or is it that he genuinely wants to eat that much food? Either way, you can’t unilaterally decide what he should be eating

Soubriquet · 06/05/2023 21:30

That’s pure gluttony. And it’s disgusting too

ImAvingOops · 06/05/2023 21:31

It sounds like he has an eating disorder - it's not normal to put chocolate powder on cocoa pops or in coffee or to cover cereal with cream. The amount of food he's eating is insane. He has to be willing to cut back because it's not normal to eat everything if you know it's going to leave the rest of the family with no food! Maybe he needs professional help to stop binge eating.

ThreeRingCircus · 06/05/2023 21:35

He's an utter pig. I don't like shaming people either but this is pure greed. You need to actually sit down and spell it out to him. He's eaten all the food, you can't afford more, he's left you and your son to go without. What would he actually say to that? Because if it's anything other than being mortified and apologising then you've got issues that are way bigger than your greedy husband.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2023 21:37

I don't know how you can stand him. He sounds absolutely repulsive.

Dontbelieveaword · 06/05/2023 21:37

He sound like a greedy, selfish, abusive man. If you're too scared to sit him down and have a conversation with about finances and COL, then he's not a man you should continue being married to, never mind find attractive and fancy. This has nothing to do with body image or shaming, it's about being able to afford to pay the bills and feed your family adequately

WinginItAtDIY · 06/05/2023 21:38

Give him the set money for shopping ( make sure you have stuff for you and ds) then come 2 days later and hes got fuck all left that's his problem!

I had an ex like that we didnt live together but he was greedy. Only ate junk and every meal had half to a whole load bread with. Each slice buttered and rolled to jam in his mouth quicker. It was disgusting.
A bag of frozen roast spuds hed have a whole bag, with a pack paxo. A tonne of chicken, 8 Yorkshires and half a loaf. Oh and a jug gravy. No veg as hes not a rabbit, (this was at his house when I was there) it was disgusting. Really horrible. The plate was heaped!

Take away would be a whole large mixed kebab. Large chips, and 2 burgers!

One of the main reason hes an ex!

Ginnybaby · 06/05/2023 21:39

ThreeRingCircus · 06/05/2023 21:35

He's an utter pig. I don't like shaming people either but this is pure greed. You need to actually sit down and spell it out to him. He's eaten all the food, you can't afford more, he's left you and your son to go without. What would he actually say to that? Because if it's anything other than being mortified and apologising then you've got issues that are way bigger than your greedy husband.

For someone who doesn’t like shaming folks you fair cracked on there with rhe abuse didn’t you.

EatTheDamnCake · 06/05/2023 21:41

Not sure his BMI is relevant tbh!

But clearly that's a lot of food for anyone to get through in such a short space of time. I'm not known for my small appetite but that still sounds a lot. Wonder if he has a bit of a binge problem? This sounds like binge levels of food to me

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 06/05/2023 21:44

Jesus, he sounds appallingly greedy.

I can't tell him, he goes mad

What exactly does he expect you and your son to do when he’s shovelled down the entire week’s food inside two days?

LuluTaylor · 06/05/2023 21:45

You can't tell him not to be a selfish cunt he goes mad? Does he have a gold plated cock or something cut it off and sell it? He is stealing everyone else's food and leaving you unable to pay bills too 😱 but you still fancy him so all's good. Ask yourself how starved and in debt do you have to be before LTB becomes the best option, then wait until you reach that point. For me, it'd be today. For the controlling behaviour too.