Husband eats weekly shop in 2 days

[husbandfoodproblems]

Same as most people, we are now on a tight budget. We are a family of 3, son 7, H and I been together 12 years. I'm disabled, we make do, I mend my own socks and pants etc etc
He's had an IVA in the past, so he knows what he is doing. He is and has always been a big man but with the cost of living it is getting so hard to cope.
He will not eat any meal without meat. I have tried, he refuses and complains about the 'horrible food' in front of our son. He has a BMI of around 35 now, wears 3xl at 6'1 and 117 kg.
I don't mind what he looks like. I fancy him fine and I don't want to body shame but we can't afford his attitude. The trigger for my post today is we shopped 'for the week' (£100) two days ago but I just realised he has eaten NINE sausages and a pack of bacon, among other stuff today, and bought more food while he was out leaving me short to pay my credit card and phone bill.
My son and I eat normally and are normal BMI. I'm by no means slim, really and love my sweets but this is insane.
I can't tell him, he goes mad. Short of a locking box in the fridge (not even joking) what do I do?

I can't tell him, he goes mad

Is he abusive, OP? Aside from stealing food from your and your child, obviously.

if he wants to eat that much he needs to pay for it and have his own food, not take stuff meant for others - I'm severely bulimic, bmi is about 15 and probably eat as much if not more than your dh. obviously wouldn't dream of expecting anyone but me to pay the grocery bill it incurs because it is really obscene to me to be eating/buying so much food at a time when so many are struggling to feed their families - and whether it's an 'issue' as some pp have suggested, or just how he is, your dh needs to take the same attitude IMO.

Separate your finances. He can buy his own food. Then when he’s out of money and food. He doesn’t get to eat.
You buy for you and your son you can eat veggie food which he won’t touch so that could work. My option would be leave. He sounds disgusting I don’t know how you haven’t got the ick

I immediately thought of binge eating disorder when I read your post - eating that amount of food goes way beyond being hungry. Would he seek help, or is he likely to deny there's a problem?

She can't separate her finances though without divorcing him. He's just going to run up a debt buying food then it'll be half OP's debt because they're married

As you say " he goes mad" when you raise it, I wonder if he has a binge eating disorder and needs help or if he's just selfish and greedy
Either way it's not good depriving his DC and DW of food

Stop shopping for him. Buy a small amount for you and your son.

How does this help? He's still going to spend just as much, if not more, of the family budget buying what he wants to eat and probably still have a share of what OP has bought foe herself and DC

He has an eating disorder. He needs help.

Since you can't change his eating habits, can you buy the cheapest meat possible?

20 frozen sausages are £1.60 and cooking bacon is less than £1 for a 500g pack.

I know it doesn't solve the underlying problem but makes things a bit easier for you.

What part of telling a disabled woman she should shop dialysis to prevent another adult eating all the food did you consider was a good idea

I don't think in normal circumstances people should be shamed for their food choices. But this isn't normal circumstances. There's a limit and the point where a grown man would eat so much food that he'd let the rest of his family go hungry is WAY past that. He should be ashamed.

Do separate shopping? Let him buy what he eats. And buy you own stuff?

Never mind the cost, imagine the health problems he's setting himself up for. That amount of processed meat in a couple of days is disgusting!

Sounds like food addiction and possibly binge eating disorder. Is he unhappy? Depressed? He’s using food as a dopamine hit. You need to sit down with him & talk this through, no it’s not normal to eat nine sausages. He needs to see a mental health professional & find a healthier way to cope with his feelings, rather than just eating them.

Not sure I could fancy a glutton of a man who would leave my child hungry.

I bet he's a 'good dad' though.

Blergh. I could not fancy someone who was that greedy.

Thank you for all the responses, I am thinking about it.
I would, in total honesty, have separate households from him if there weren't a whole host of issues from immigration to my disability to finances (I will never leave my son).
I do try to bring it up but he yells or, like this evening, stonewalls me.
I think I might have to just lock stuff up. I did before when a kilo of Nutella went in 5 days.
It's tiring.

I wouldn't be able to cope with him. He's eating your child's food. He is eating your food and then he shouts at you. No way.

Is he a good dad? He's ok. If I dropped dead, he would probably not cope.

Trying to keep the shopping separate won't help the op as I'm will to bet he will just eat their food as well.

What does he say if there is no food left and your son says he's hungry? Is he ok with it?

But how would locking up food help? You've already told us he just goes out and uses family finances to go buy more, leaving budget short for bills etc.
I dont mean to be blunt, but disabled people can be single parents too, quite successfully, and surely getting away from an abusive, selfish, meh dad and partner has got to be better in the long run for both yourself and DC. There is help out there to help you leave and survive.