Husband eats weekly shop in 2 days

[husbandfoodproblems]

Same as most people, we are now on a tight budget. We are a family of 3, son 7, H and I been together 12 years. I'm disabled, we make do, I mend my own socks and pants etc etc
He's had an IVA in the past, so he knows what he is doing. He is and has always been a big man but with the cost of living it is getting so hard to cope.
He will not eat any meal without meat. I have tried, he refuses and complains about the 'horrible food' in front of our son. He has a BMI of around 35 now, wears 3xl at 6'1 and 117 kg.
I don't mind what he looks like. I fancy him fine and I don't want to body shame but we can't afford his attitude. The trigger for my post today is we shopped 'for the week' (£100) two days ago but I just realised he has eaten NINE sausages and a pack of bacon, among other stuff today, and bought more food while he was out leaving me short to pay my credit card and phone bill.
My son and I eat normally and are normal BMI. I'm by no means slim, really and love my sweets but this is insane.
I can't tell him, he goes mad. Short of a locking box in the fridge (not even joking) what do I do?

Gosh there are some harsh replies on this thread.
so you and ds obviously eat different meals such as vegetarian meals correct? Do you guys have enough for the week?
before you go shopping make a meal plan together. Plan breakfasts, lunches and dinners for all of you and make sure it fits into your budget. if he then eats all his food in the first two days then it’s simply beans on toast for the rest of the week. And when he is miserable and hungry then he will learn not to binge it all.

Who is being harsh? OP has specifically said he will eat all the food then go use precious family budget to go buy more food, leaving them short and struggling to pay bills as a result. She has also specifically stated she is too scared to talk to him about it because he shouts or stonewalls, do you really think he's going to sit down and help make a meal plan and budget and stick to it?
Are we reading different threads? Have I missed something?

God this is terrible.

Does he have life insurance? He sounds very unhealthy.

I can't in fact imagine how to handle this. I'm something of a binge eater myself so I do get the impulse. Can you just pay the bills early, or move the bill money out of reach? Would you have enough to eat this week if you did?

I’d stop buying all the additional sweet stuff.

no chocolate spread, jam, chocolate powder etc. go for basic cereal. He can’t have all the meat And all the sweets on your budget.

What does he do when he’s used up the weeks meat on Day 2? How would he manage for food?

I’d look for frozen veg if it works out slightly cheaper and cuts of meat you can portion and freeze. Maybe batch baking and freezing will make a small impact.

silent treatment etc is abusive.

he has to face that your family have a budget. Does he sit down with you and know where all the money has to go?

Does he do any cooking for the whole family other than goring on the weeks shopping on his own?

Christ it’s like having an extra sulky tantrum throwing child.

If he is eating 9 sausages and a packet of bacon in 2 days then surely as a vegetarian OP would not have eaten this anyway. So now he has no sausages or bacon for breakfast for the rest of the week. You have said he doesn't like your food so he won't eat that and so you and DS won't go hungry. DS and I will have 3 sausages, bacon and scrambled egg for breakfast at weekends. Between us we'd eat 10 sausages in 2 days if we had a cooked breakfast both days over the weekend. I'd eat 2 and DS would eat 3, so 5 each day. DS would have a couple of hash browns too. My dh is a vegetarian but DS and I eat meat or fish for dinner every night. It's what meat eaters generally do. We tend to eat chicken, fish or steak most days, occasionally Bolognese. DH likes macaroni cheese, pizza and penne Arabatica. I eat low carbs so can't have that sort of food.

I don't know how you can fancy someone that eats like that, I'll keep my fingers crossed he chokes on a sausage for you op, not sure what help anyone can offer if he doesn't care he's eating you into debt.

Stop doing the shopping and send him to do rtf weekly shop.

Wow what a greedy scoffer how selfish and inconsiderate that he binges on this food and devours it in one sitting before you or your child even get a look in. Even worse when money is tight and he knows it should be for the week he still can’t keep his head out the trough. Eurgh.

Shpuldn't he do his own shopping? How is all this paid for?

There are some seriously ignorant and thick people on this thread who obviously can't understand the written word and the stupidity of some of the comments and 'advice' is making me tired.
Good luck OP. Hope you work out a way to either communicate the situation to him or work out a way to leave him.
I'm out of the conversation

Greedy,gluttony,pig,repulsive,
Grotesque,
These words are just some of the usual tripe spouted about anyone who is overweight or eats a lot.
The judgement is real !
Ooh I couldn't possible eat another thing,I have already had some carrot sticks today .
Cream on fruit ? Well fuck me ,time to leave the bastard.
"I only eat twice a day,"well bloody good for you .some might say that's an eating disorder right there

I what's the immigration issues?

And what does he actually say/shout about the food going so quick?

Does he do manual work, OP?

For some men, 9 sausages and 8 rashers of bacon would be easy to eat over 2 breakfasts and 2 lunches.

Tell him that you're on pasta for the rest of the week as he's eaten everything.

My exH was like this. He'd open a tin of hotdogs and eat the entire tin with a pack of hotdogs rolls. During the first few months of us being together he got a whole cooked chicken from Tescos, cooked a couple of bags of those microwave pastas and a couple of bags of the dolmio microwaveable carbonara sauces and asked me to get a plate out. I got us both one out and he looked at me and said what are you doing? I thought it was for both of us but no it was just for him and he sat and ate the lot in front of me. I went home starving that night (should've known then marriage wasn't going to be good) went out once for a lovely 5 course meal. He decided after a skin full of drinks he needed a take away in the way home and ordered a 12" pizza plus donner meat and chips. Violently ill the following day ruining my brand new dyson hoover in the process of attempting to suck puke up it. A meal out with family. Ate his own dinner and then grabbed everyone else's left overs and proceeded to shovel it down. That same meal we got a starter of onion rings to share. They came stacked up on a couple of skewers. He grabbed them and proceeded to put the smallest ones on everyone else's plates and kept the 2 biggest ones for himself. My Mum made him put them back and gave the 2 biggest onion rings to someone else in the group instead. Everything was just pure gluttony with him from food down to drinks. Somewhere that does free refills on drinks would mean about 10 pints of coke plus grabbing handfuls of chips off my plate whilst I was still eating my own meal and still eating the chips that were on my plate.

Watching that would put me off my own food 🤢

No, he doesn't do manual work. Pure sedendary office job.

No judgement about cream on fruit! Just not most days, surely!

I eat about twice a day, but normally! I'm not skinny either, just menopausal.

If you're vegetarian and he won't eat a meal without meat then I'd be buying a reasonable amount of meat for him to cook himself and once it's gone, it's gone.

I'd make vegetarian meals for myself and DS.

He sounds greedy and selfish. I'm sorry you feel you can leave OP, it must be hard.

Of course is BMI is relevant. If he was slim and eating that much, then he’d clearly need it. But he’s overweight so he doesn’t need it.

Ask him to do the shopping!

Are people thick, he does go out and buy extra food once he has gobbled up the weekly shop already but they are on a budget, so what good is it to get him doing all the shopping?

Jesus christ.

No, I can't let him do the shopping, I'm afraid. He'd come back with a lot of junk food on double the budget. Froot Loops, Sunny D and Nesquik would reign supreme, and we'd be wiping with newspaper and turning our undies inside out for because there would be no washing liquid!

I have tried it, before. He ended up with an IVA not just because he would blow the food budget and use credit cards but he did and it did not help.
I do think he has an eating problem of some kind. It is as if it is an obsession. He doesn't cook a lot, and is not good at it, but he watches food videos and shows all the time. Like if most of us scroll Mumsnet or Facebook, he is watching food videos. He has sleep apnoea which is caused by obesity and yes, it affects his health (he breathes really loudly and wheezily) but he won't get to a Dr.
I don't know.

OP if you want to have separate households or at least separate finances from him (so you're not liable for his debts) then find a way to make that work (divorce). Whatever your personal problems are, they aren't going to get any easier to overcome once he's eaten you into debt. Cut your losses and find a way to get out now. There must be some way that doesn't lose you access to your son. Start looking into it. He's abusive, he's never going to see the light and behave differently. It doesn't matter if he has an eating disorder or not, it's not a reason to treat others like shite. There's never anything you can do to change things for someone who doesn't want to change or to help themselves in life.