Husband eats weekly shop in 2 days

[husbandfoodproblems]

Same as most people, we are now on a tight budget. We are a family of 3, son 7, H and I been together 12 years. I'm disabled, we make do, I mend my own socks and pants etc etc
He's had an IVA in the past, so he knows what he is doing. He is and has always been a big man but with the cost of living it is getting so hard to cope.
He will not eat any meal without meat. I have tried, he refuses and complains about the 'horrible food' in front of our son. He has a BMI of around 35 now, wears 3xl at 6'1 and 117 kg.
I don't mind what he looks like. I fancy him fine and I don't want to body shame but we can't afford his attitude. The trigger for my post today is we shopped 'for the week' (£100) two days ago but I just realised he has eaten NINE sausages and a pack of bacon, among other stuff today, and bought more food while he was out leaving me short to pay my credit card and phone bill.
My son and I eat normally and are normal BMI. I'm by no means slim, really and love my sweets but this is insane.
I can't tell him, he goes mad. Short of a locking box in the fridge (not even joking) what do I do?

If it's a Hague Convention signatory and you are resident there, yes. You can get in a lot of trouble and DS would be returned to his father. And following that, there's every chance that residency and custody would be difficult. Even taking DS on holiday.

Do things right.

Are you from the UK or Ireland? Just go home. That will be putting ds first. He can have stability,security and a happy mum. He will not have a dad who is running the family into the ground, is a bully and is a seriously poor example. You will have your own budget as you will have recourse to benefits.

You can't just take a child away from his home and father. Legally, I mean. And there's every chance she's not eligible for benefits depending on how long she's been gone and her legal status.

You would need your husband's permission because the UK and all European countries are signatories to the Hague Convention. It prevents one parent from taking children away from the country where their residence is established.

I guess you could risk it if you didn't think he would fight for custody, but you could wind up in a world of legal trouble.

What are her and her child going to eat ?

Unless she locked her food away he'd eat it.

You won't be able to improve the situation because your husband won't change. Better to move your son while he's young, let him have a normal home life ?
Can you come back to the UK ? Stay with family temporarily?

Abuse? Let’s call a spade a spade: the man is greedy. He’s brought it upon himself with this behaviour.

@husbandfoodproblems you said you had your own money ? Do you have enough for two flights home ?
I bet your husband wouldn't bother with fighting for access , he'll just be happy stuffing his face and be bankrupt.

Please look up the Hague Mothers website for information. If you remove your son, he can bring an international child abduction case against you, and the court will only look at where the child's habitual residence is, not anything to do with child or parent wellbeing. I've a good friend who is facing extradition after fleeing an abusive husband and if he wins, he can bring abduction charges against her when she returns. She is facing the possibility of having to send her daughter back to Canada without her, because returning and being jailed is such a strong possibility.

These laws were brought in to protect mothers, and now are mostly used by abusive men. The website helps people prepare if they want to leave.

If he gets into debt to fund stuffing himself, I can't see him getting funds together to try to get his child back if the OP leaves. He doesn't care if his child gets to see him keel over in a self-induced heart attack. He cares precious little about his child, let alone his wife getting himself into the state he is in.

You are in an abusive situation with no money, no support and not even your disability needs being met. Perhaps get in touch with domestic abuse support agencies in the uk, even discussing the situation and having support can lead to options becoming clearer for you.
I completely changed life with a child of a similar age and though it was scary, it was by far the best thing I have ever done. Keep talking and reflecting and know that you are not trapped. There are choices and a better life ahead for you and your child. A mother who isn't dragged down and has her needs met leads to a much better life than holding onto friends and a school. He is the perfect age to make such a change and still put down roots.