What minor laws would you introduce?

[JustKeepSlimming]

lighthearted

If you were put in charge of Everything for a few weeks, what minor laws would you introduce? I'm thinking things that would be really easy to implement, and would make people's lives easier.

I would make it the law that manufacturers of electronic devices had to indicate on the outside of the product which batteries it needs (type and how many). I'm fed up of having to take the battery cover off, check what's in there, and then either put the cover back on (fiddling with a tiny screwdriver), or leave it off somewhere (to inevitably lose it) until I can get new batteries for the thing.

While they're at it, they can make the cover permanently attached to the device so it doesn't get lost. But not attached in a way that makes it impossible to reach the batteries.

Immediate fine for anyone who uses the following words:
hubby/hubs/hubster
holibobs
nomnom
preggers
moist

ban all noisy dogs

Dogs on short leads at all times when in public.

All traffic lights must be on green and roads clear until I have passed by.

I’d like to see anti-smoking legislation extended to include pub gardens and any outdoor hospitality seating.

People who don’t work should not be in the pharmacy queue between 12:30 and 2. It’s so annoying when you are trying to go in a lunch break and are behind lots of old ladies who could have gone earlier.

Nappies for dogs in public spaces

Caution or fine for cheating.
caution or fine for abandoning your kids and leaving the mum to do all the work

Ban Ant and Dick from the TV.

No cadets at all within 100 metres especially after class. No no and no.

Nobody allowed to use the expression "train station" (looking at you Radio 4).
Nobody allowed to take mobile phones to gigs & events - just watch it with your own eyes!
No consumption of any food during a theatre or cinema performance. Culprits to ge banned for life.
No caravans on the public road. Obviously.
Proper use of the Quiet Coach on trains, so that it is actually quiet.

The daily mail. Gone.

I’ll be hated for this, but people should get retested for their driving license when they’re older. Perhaps not as strict as the initial one, but there are far too many dangerous elderly drivers out there.

Traffic lights should be set to demand only after 9 pm. Sitting alone at an otherwise empty junction while waiting for the other lights to sequence through gets very old very quickly.
No music should be heard outside the confines of the walls of the premises it is played in.
When at social gatherings there should not be any music that exceeds 75 decibels. We gather to meet up with people and connect with conversation not shout single words into their ears.
No noisy dogs. Or children who scream outside for no reason. Screaming because of danger or damage is allowed.

Immediately thrown off public transport and out of public places if you watch stuff on your phone etc without earphones.

Some of these are already here, but this is my list for now - so many things I may come back later with a few more!

All dogs to be kept on short leads unless in a designated dog park.
Huge fines for leaving dog mess or dog bags in a public place.
Fines for letting dogs bark for too long/too often.
Licencing and inspections for all dog breeders. Also all puppies must be vaccinated and microchipped before they can be sold and then covered by insurance for first few weeks. Also make it illegal to sell dogs with health issues.

Driving ban for middle lane hoggers.
Doctors and teachers to have their university fees written off after 10 years’ service.
Ban on all junk mail and unsolicited letters.
Ban on all single use plastics. Ban plastic wrapping, cling film, plastic bags etc.

Teenagers required to do community service for 25 hours a year (or maybe more depending on age)
All unemployed required to do community service, minimum 15 hours a week.

No talking or food during theatre performances.

What's wrong with saying "train station"?! Assuming that you're talking about a station for trains, what are you meant to call it?

Compulsory confiscation of mobile phones at the entrance of theatres, cinemas & concert venues.

Each seat on the bus is fitted with an ejection detonator which is immediately triggered if the occupant plays music or video audibly.

Won't go as far as banning smoking but £2k fine for littering a fag end. Increases exponentially for any subsequent offences.

People who leave cereal bowls beside the sink to dry their crusty contents during the day lose any rights to TV remotes. A second offence results in having to clean the dogs arse after it's next messy shit. And forever thereafter.

ban cyclists off the road.

This. Also - an annual cull of Z list celebrities.

ban crying children from restaurants after 7pm. should be common practise to ask a parent to remove the child making the noise

I dream of this. Somehow I will track all these people down, line them up and shoot them.

Please help me devise a system 🤞

All of the above… I’ve found my people!