What minor laws would you introduce?

[JustKeepSlimming]

lighthearted

If you were put in charge of Everything for a few weeks, what minor laws would you introduce? I'm thinking things that would be really easy to implement, and would make people's lives easier.

I would make it the law that manufacturers of electronic devices had to indicate on the outside of the product which batteries it needs (type and how many). I'm fed up of having to take the battery cover off, check what's in there, and then either put the cover back on (fiddling with a tiny screwdriver), or leave it off somewhere (to inevitably lose it) until I can get new batteries for the thing.

While they're at it, they can make the cover permanently attached to the device so it doesn't get lost. But not attached in a way that makes it impossible to reach the batteries.

Jail time for anyone spitting on the street

No loud beltching in public

No need to make ott sex noises with your window open

My neighbours are so bloody annoying

Free-roaming pet cats.

Starting an AMA then not responding to the questions by quoting the question should get you 3 days in jail.

How it never occurs to the OP that people need context to their replies is astounding.

I'm loving these especially the 25 hours community service for teens and the limiting of dog activities.

I would make any form of whistling illegal unless the whistler is in their own home with all windows shut so they cannot inflict said whistling on the general public. Instant £100 fine to be imposed on any individual heard whistling in public, to be donated to charity. Make that a £250 fine for the incredibly irritating warbly type whistling that men over 70 seem so fond of inflicting on the general public whilst wandering around shops and so on. And yes I know that comment is horribly ageist but that kind of warbly whistle is goddamned fucking annoying and it's ALMOST ALWAYS elderly men that do it. Fine them on the spot.

Ban noisy and badly behaved people of any age from pubs and restaurants, particularly loud fake laughing. I'd much prefer to hear children than that noise!

I should be allowed to have a scrooch gun so that I can scrooch people who annoy me.

I'd ban artificial grass.

Where would I put my wheelchair accessible vehicle?

I agree with dog licensing. Also, no eating on public transport. Fuck it, if am in charge of everything, no eating outside your own home if you do not eat with your mouth closed.

No private schools.
Education system that is much more standardised i.e. all kids using the same phonics system, same maths programme, etc.

All children in a year taught together - no top sets, lower sets, etc.

Much more outdoor time, hands on learning; less sitting + passive listening in a classroom.

4 day school weeks.

For grown ups - 4 day work weeks.

People who cross the road by hurling themselves into traffic from between parked cars rather than walking a few yards to use the proper pedestrian crossing should be zapped in some mildly painful but non-lethal way, possibly involving icy-cold water or sticky glittter.
Zapping can be done by teens doing their public service.
In fact they can zap all of the above offenders. And their dogs.

um, so how about visits? To people and places?

I would also ban anyone with a screachy voice from speaking in public, it shouldn't be allowed. There should be a permitted decibel level and after that, they will be exterminated. This may be a problem in Liverpool 😅

No swearing in public

Standing on the right on all escalators

No smoking or vaping in public

No phones / gadgets without headphones in public

Anyone parking obnoxiously gets a ticket immediately: on the pavement, across a cycle lane, double parked etc

Men must always move out of the way of other pedestrians (sorry)

Women pushing buggies not allowed to walk side by side and block the pavement

People walking dogs can’t make other pedestrians limbo dance under or over their leashes

Everyone says please and thank you to bus drivers / train operators / people holding doors open for them / people letting them into traffic etc

Limit on number of children people can have.
no children in restaurants and child free carriages on trains.

The Cinema Code Of Conduct to be legally enforceable

No smoking in public or in gardens where it impacts neighbours.
No parking on pavements.
speeding results in driving ban.
using your phone on loud speaker in public gets a huge fine or your phone destroyed.
limit how much meat people can buy.
punish animal cruelty much more severely.

Smoking in one's own home only.

No placing of bags on the unoccupied seat next to you - you will be hurled from the bus/train etc.

No one is allowed to tell teachers they only work half the year and finish for the day at 330pm and have weeks and weeks of holiday so what are they complaining about.

Wacky car horns. No.

Introduce rent controls so no one pays more than £500 a month for a small flat, £600 for a 1 bed flat, £700 for a two bed, £800 for a three bed, £900 for a four bed, £1000 for a five bed and £50 per parking space, £50 for a garage or 10mx10m sized garden area.

I don’t give a shit if Toby in Kensington thinks his flat is better than Liam in Manchester or Celia in Oxford has to sell up and loses a few pounds, my policy will truly level the country up!

Make it illegal to play music in outside public spaces. I'm talking tinny phone music and crap bass coming from Bluetooth speakers that every group of people seems to have to have accompanying then lately. And phones on buses, people out loud scrolling through endless reels. Ugh, what's wrong with birdsong and ear buds??

Railway station.

I wouldn't take any of this seriously , some of them think slavery is a good idea .

-Everyone to get £50 on their birthday each year to spend on something just for them.
-following bereavement of close family member, bereavement leave to be 4 weeks as standard
-personal finance, basic home care (how to get rid of mould, how to paint a wall/wallpaper, how to insulate a loft properly), basic car care (how to change a tyre, how to know when a tyre is worn, how to test oil/radiator levels) taught in schools.
-annual cholesterol and blood pressure checks over 50. Heart scan every 10 years from 50 also. Plus 2 x 60 min check in with physio every 5 years.
-everyone gets Wednesdays afternoons off work to do physical activity.

I do not want to do physical activity on Wednesday afternoons.

Will I be fined or jailed?

£50 fines for anyone who modifies their car so it makes loud noises. I’m sick to death of screeching car engines and modified exhausts that bang and explode. Some of them sound like aeroplanes coming in to land.