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Original poster

Pointless products that will never exist but you wish they did

164 replies

ditalini · 19/04/2023 14:40

I live on the 2nd floor and have a shared washing line out the back. I want a clip on thing that I can attach to an item of washing (say the thickest part of a pair of jeans, the bit that takes the longest to dry) and it'll send an alert to my phone when the load is ready to take in.

This will never exist because it's pointless for almost everyone in the world but I wish it did.

Any more?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
JarByTheDoor · 19/04/2023 23:49

Ah that makes sense tabulah… I've never had a fabric lightpull, I have to admit it struck me weirdly at first but I can see the appeal now I think about it, especially if weighted a bit.

Definitely not white and fluffy, though, not for something that's going to be touched many times a day and doesn't look like it can be washed Grin

GarlicGrace · 19/04/2023 23:59

Costaflatwhite · 19/04/2023 17:45

A machine or stick on mask that does your make up perfectly in one go. None of this 10 different products that you have to put on individually in a certain order that takes forever in a morning.

Yep, I'd even wear makeup if I didn't have to faff about applying it properly Grin

In Fifth Element, there's a compact (Chanel, obvs) that she just presses her face into and is automagically made up. I've thought about this so much that I realise the problem would be everyone's individual facial measurements. It will come. And I won't be able to afford it.

LittleMie · 20/04/2023 00:02

A place to go for the ASMR back tickling and hair brushing. I'd kill to have a friend that has an ASMR YouTube channel and asks me to be the model 😂

SunshineAndFizz · 20/04/2023 00:08

Mummynew08 · 19/04/2023 17:48

I need a net that surrounds DD's car seat, at her own arm's length, so that when she drops something and wails for it, I don't have to lean over and grope around the footwell and miss the lights changing green. She could just reach for it herself! It would be like a cup shape mosquito net with her in the middle. I've fantasised about it frequently, I might make it and go on dragon's den

Oh I'd love this. And one for the high chair so I don't constantly have to replace the same toy repeatedly throw on the floor.

GarlicGrace · 20/04/2023 00:11

You know the vacuum cleaner was originally invented as a whole-house system that sucked all the debris into slots at the bottom of the walls, then sent it to a central dump? I can't tell you how hard I wish that system had caught on! I'd gladly sacrifice the odd bits of cash & dropped earrings for a permanently hoovered house.

RicherThanYews · 20/04/2023 00:12

A doorway like the security ones in airports but walking through it removes all dirt, sweat, bacteria etc from the body and leaves you fresh and clean. I'm disabled and have to shower everyday, it takes ages, is painful and an arseache.

GarlicGrace · 20/04/2023 00:14

RicherThanYews · 20/04/2023 00:12

A doorway like the security ones in airports but walking through it removes all dirt, sweat, bacteria etc from the body and leaves you fresh and clean. I'm disabled and have to shower everyday, it takes ages, is painful and an arseache.

Ooh, that would be great! I have similar troubles - so hardly ever shower. I use antibacterial wipes Blush

scarecrow22 · 20/04/2023 00:15

@longtompot Colmans, Schwartz and (I think) Knorr do this. Shows what a totally ace idea it is :)

BornBlonde · 20/04/2023 00:26

Appalonia · 19/04/2023 15:04

An app where you could post a full length photo of yourself and it could show you what clothes posed by pictures of tall, skinny models would look like on your actual body!

I had this exact thought the other day online shopping!!!!!!

Kyse · 20/04/2023 00:54

Calphurnia · 19/04/2023 16:26

Something I can put on my face before bed that will wash, cleanse, serum & moisturise for me. Please

Not totally but if I remove my makeup with a cleansing balm, then use this it works well
Exfoliates, serum, moisturiser

https://www.lookfantastic.com/starskin-vip-7-seconds-luxury-all-day-mask-5x-8ml/12187671.html

Muddays · 20/04/2023 01:55

A scam detector app that would send an instant and intense electric shock to the sender.

Phoebo · 20/04/2023 01:56

Appalonia · 19/04/2023 15:04

An app where you could post a full length photo of yourself and it could show you what clothes posed by pictures of tall, skinny models would look like on your actual body!

I don't know if they'll ever do this because then people often wouldn't buy the clothes. But definitely great idea

sashh · 20/04/2023 04:00

StoatofDisarray · 19/04/2023 17:19

Nosey Parker hotline where you can find out what's going on with the police three doors down, or why the road is closed off near work or what film they're making on the river or who's being tried in the local court today!

Join 'Nextdoor', it all happens on there.

wibblewobbleball · 20/04/2023 05:56

OuchIStubbedMyBigToe · 19/04/2023 14:53

Slow release Calpol patches

Genius

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 20/04/2023 08:39

A cap that you put into your head and then remove to have brilliant hair so every day is a good hair day.

Deathraystare · 20/04/2023 08:51

@Appalonia @ Speedwell

Well a while back on one site it invited you to put your measurements in and I watched in dispair as a lovely long dress got stretched and stretched until unrecognisable, like a potato sack! I am 5ft 4, size 20 so...

Mostar · 20/04/2023 08:57

A special cloth that restores the original colours to books and things that have been left too long on a shelf beside a south-facing window.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 20/04/2023 09:16

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 19/04/2023 22:12

Show quote history

I envisage it as something that stands proud of the actual washing, so like an umbrella held up maybe eighteen inches above the washing and comes down slightly over the sides, so the washing can still turn.

This looks more like someone threw a tarpaulin over a load of wet washing. Mine would be soooooo much better!

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 20/04/2023 09:27

The washing can still turn - the cover rotates with the line.

Nitflux · 20/04/2023 10:19

@WhatsitWiggle YES! That has made my day 😄

Appalonia · 20/04/2023 10:46

Deathraystare · 20/04/2023 08:51

@Appalonia @ Speedwell

Well a while back on one site it invited you to put your measurements in and I watched in dispair as a lovely long dress got stretched and stretched until unrecognisable, like a potato sack! I am 5ft 4, size 20 so...

Oh no!😂😓

SquigglyGum · 20/04/2023 12:01

FourTeaFallOut · 19/04/2023 16:10

Ds (9) wants an ice cream van app so he can see if one is coming and get his money ready on time instead of running out of the house in his socks with a pocketful of shrapnel from the change jar.

Our local ice cream van has an app and you can track him! It's incredible.

SquigglyGum · 20/04/2023 12:09

LadyMargaretDevereux · 19/04/2023 18:16

A machine where I push my filthy muddy golden retriever in one end and he comes put at the other end all clean and dry and nice smelling. It could give him treats to keep him happy as well, I wouldn't mind.

I feel like a broken record but they have dog washing machines at some car washes here in Australia.. you pop your dog in a huge sink thing and o guess it Wallace and grommit's your dog clean?

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